


The Dark Goddess

by Sysanet



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Magic, Multi, Other, Paranormal, Romance, Supernatural - Freeform, historical vaguely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 03:56:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 34
Words: 46,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11959212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sysanet/pseuds/Sysanet
Summary: "The Dark Goddess is what they call me.The hunters use my name as a parent would the boogie man. But how did I become such? Let me tell you."-------------------------------------------------------A Character blog that will be updated the 1st and 15th of every month. Mature content warning. Explicit content warning. I recommend reading it alongside 'The Light Goddess' for an even more enjoyable experience.





	1. The Beginning -- The Year of the Twin Goddesses 3025 BC

**Author's Note:**

> **Trigger Warnings for later chapters include, rape & graphic violence.**  
> I'm additionally updating this story every Tuesday until my Ao3 version is caught up to my Figment version.

           

* * *

    

       The sands were young when my mother gave birth to my sister and I. Twins, one with sable hair, one with ivory, both with emerald eyes and olive skin. Daughters to the High Priest of Kemet. Goddess born of flesh. That's what they claimed us to be. We were then named for the twin Goddesses.

       My sister was named Bast for the Goddess of the Sun & Moon, life, and warfare. I was named after Sekmet, Goddess of Fire, healing, war, vengeance, childbirth, and travel. Most of our Goddesses claimed fertility as one of their domains. We had some pretty horny deities.

       As per our father's orders, we were separated. She was taken to Lower Kemet and I to Upper Kemet. There we would be raised as the Goddess' Earthly stand-ins. Our word was theirs. One would think us very blessed. Pampered and cared for, our every need fulfilled before we could even finish asking. Ha.

       It was a prison. We were dolls, told what to do and when to do it. Tricked into believing it was what we wanted. Our 'destiny.' But I'm getting ahead of myself. I didn't always feel that way. There was a time when I did enjoy it. Let me start there.

 

**3013 BC**

 

       I was young and naive. Being away from my sister had always been difficult. Being away from her during my blossoming was even more difficult. My red months had just started. I had never bled before. Not from scratches or scrapes. I was told Goddesses didn't bleed. Imagine my surprise when I 'became a woman'.

       Of course the Priests easily explained it. As a Goddess of fertility it was only natural I _be able_ to produce children. Not that I ever would. No mortal man was worthy of a Goddess. Of course I accepted their explanation. Why wouldn't I? Knowing Bast was also a Goddess of fertility, I worried about her and whether or not she was enduring the same event.

       "Is Bast okay?" I questioned my lady-in-waiting, Nakia.

      "Your sister is fine, my Goddess. She has no discomforts. We should begin preparing your new wardrobe for womanhood," she patiently informed me.

       "I don't see why my clothing needs to be altered. I'm just getting older," I protested. At the time, clothing was a bother to me. I didn't pick my own outfits. Most days I didn't even dress myself.

       "With your new age will come a new figure as well," Nakia said. She was always so patient with me and I was a stubborn ass. Nakia was also a few years older and had already been maturing into her 'new figure'.

       "Will I have breasts as large as yours?" I asked in a childish tone. I'll admit, shallow is an adjective I'm well acquainted with.

       "I'm sure a Goddess will have a very full figure," she had said with ease. Perhaps it was because Nakia had known my mother she thought that. Or perhaps she honestly believed I was a Goddess. Either way her answer placated me.

       After a few hours of being dressed and painted, I was ready to greet travelers in my throne room. That was one of my tasks as Sekmet. Sitting or lounging on a bed with servants fanning me and checking my curtains every time there was a breeze. The throne room to my temple had no real walls. There were columns that held up the roof. From there, two layers of curtains where hung. Dark colored velvet ones to keep the throne room warm at night, and light silk ones to keep it cool during the day.

       Weary travelers would bring presents and offerings for a safe journey. With nowhere to sit, they would have to kneel before me. I would bless them and ensure their safety. And if someone fell upon tragedy while on the road? That meant they had pissed me off somehow, even if _I_ wasn't aware they had. Made complete sense.

       That day I had very little patience. I was uncomfortable and my back ached. Pain was not something I was accustomed to feeling. _Ever._

       It is amazing how quickly one can forget these things when their curiosity is piqued. That night a foreigner stepped over my threshold. No foreigner had ever travelled through my desert at night.

       His skin was pale. Something practically unheard of in the desert. Even foreigners tended to gain a darker complexion after traveling to Lower Kemet. Though his eyes and hair were dark like my people's they were still different. The shape of his eyes was narrower than I was used to and his hair was finer. Much lighter than ours tended to be. He wore light robes of a style I had never seen before.

       Interested, I leaned forward to see him better from my seat.

       "Good evening, Goddess," he said in a heavy accent. "I bring gifts from the Orient."

       He waved his hand over a few small chests. He opened the first one and said, "some fine silks. In these other two are some bathing oils and jewelry of the highest quality." The foreigner opened them as he spoke. One of my priests retrieved the presents for me and took them to be inspected.

       "Thank you," I spoke with as much authority as I could muster. "Your gifts are received with graciousness. What is it you ask of me in return?"

       "Nothing, my Goddess. I merely wished to show you my appreciation," he cooed in his heavy accent. "Truly, I am humbled by your presence. I fear when you are fully grown I will not even be able to look in your direction."

       The stranger bowed even lower.

       My heart raced a little. No one had ever been bold enough to comment on my beauty before. It was forbidden to look upon me with desire. Any compliment would have been misconstrued and the speaker sentenced to death. He had so easily won my favor.

       "Your compliments are appreciated. What is your name?" I asked, trying to sound disinterested. 

       "Qiang," he said with a smile. "Qiang to the beautiful Goddess."

       "You will be blessed on your travels, Qiang." I barely avoided fumbling over his name. "You are dismissed," I commanded. With another deep bow, he turned and left.

       Looking back, it's easy to think, _'I should have seen through him. He was laying the compliments on really thick.'_ But I was young. I had no idea what I was doing, how could I have known the next few days would seal my fate for millennia to come? That day was only the beginning.

* * *

 


	2. Shador -- The Year I began to Question. 3013 BC

* * *

 

       Qiang stayed in an inn near my temple. For the next three days he would bring different gifts and lavish me with praises that sounded very sincere. But his visit was short in the grand scheme of things. I did not believe he would return. No foreigner ever returned to visit.

       Thus my existence returned to what it had been. My mind occasionally wandered to the foreigner and I wondered where he was traveling to. However, he was blown from my mind by rumors spreading around my temple.

       "Our people have truly been blessed," one of the temple maidens whispered. "Another gift from the gods has arrived through Priest Ahmose.”

       The mention of my father’s name froze me. All of my attention was immediately given to the temple maidens attending the temple clean-up. Our mother had died in child-birth. Compared to baby goddesses the life of a lowly slave girl hadn’t been a priority to her attending mid-wives. However, if my father had sired another child, they would still be my half sibling.

       “He will be taken to the Temple of Anubis to be trained as a priest,” the maiden whispered to her friend. I could barely tell the women apart in their robes.

       “Why is he to be trained as a priest?  Isn’t he a go—“

       “Hush,” the maiden cut her friend off. “Do not let any of the priests hear you. Pharaoh is the God born in flesh. To suggest otherwise is blasphemous.”

       “But what of Goddess Sekmet and Goddess Bast?”

       “How did you become a temple maiden without knowing these simple things?” The maiden let out a deep sigh. “Goddesses are women, not men. Gods have more important things to do than come to our plane and live among us. But Goddesses can give their time to us.”

       That was the first time I had ever heard about these differences between Gods and Goddesses. The Pharaoh had no special markings to prove his Godhood. But the priests did say he was a God. And they were the ones who knew Bast and I were Goddesses. Still, the fact my brother was denied his Godhood when he had more physical proof than Pharaoh did not sit well with me.

       “What is his name to be?” The other maiden asked, ignoring the first maiden’s insults.

       “He will be named by the head priest of Anubis when they present him. If we finish our chores, maybe we will get to attend.”

       They excitedly rushed off to complete their tasks for the day.

       I laid on my couch, my little brother on my mind. I barely saw Bast. Only once a year were we permitted to see one another. Would I be permitted to see my brother at all? For some reason I couldn’t explain, I needed to see my brother.

       “Nakia,” I summoned. The older girl rushed to my side.

       “Yes, my Goddess?” she asked.        

       “I wish to see my brother before he is presented to the priests,” I commanded. Though I wasn’t certain they would allow me to. But I was a Goddess and I should never seem uncertain.

       “I will speak with your High Priest and see if he can have it arranged,” she spoke uncertainly. I’m sure she was afraid I would have her whipped for failing me. And I very well might have. I did not like being denied anything and would throw fits on occasion. It might not have been lady-like, but I was not a lady. I was a Goddess to be feared and worshipped.

       So why did I need permission to see my brother? The question plagued my mind until Nakia returned to my side with a bright smile on her face.

       “He says he will bring your brother to you this evening,” she happily informed me. “Shall I prepare your receiving room?”

       “Yes.” I let her rush off again. My receiving room was reserved for very special visitors. Such as the Pharaoh or his family.

       Once prepared, I went to my receiving room to await my brother. I don’t know what I expected, or if I expected anything at all. An armed guard carrying a small cradle on a litter might have seemed excessive to me if they weren’t carrying my baby brother.

       They set the litter down in front of me. The head guard went to the cradle and tenderly reached into it. I was curious about the way he cared for my brother. There was so much tenderness and care from a man I knew would kill without hesitation.

       Those thoughts fled my mind when the guard knelt and held my brother out to me. Barely a day old, he was wrinkly and had red cheeks. He scrunched his face up irritably. When he started crying, I was at a loss. I looked to the guard for help.

       The guard smiled at me. He was an older man, probably his late forties. He moved to my side and directed my arms around my brother.

       “Hold his head with your elbow. Support his weight with your arms, there you go. You’re a natural, my Goddess,” he instructed sweetly. It didn’t take long for my brother to quiet down and begin sleeping peacefully against me.

       Nakia hovered beside us. I knew she was anxious. I just didn’t know why. As with most things I didn’t understand, I ignored it. Instead, I focused on the holy gift in my arms. Like me, he was dark skinned and dark haired. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes. They were indeed the same emerald shade my sister and I shared.

       “Hello there,” I whispered to him. His eyes widened as he looked at me uncertainly. “My little Shador.”

       “Shador, Goddess?” the guard inquired.

       “I know the Priest is to name him. But when I look at him, I can think of nothing else to call him,” I explained. Which wasn’t something I was accustomed to doing.

       “Shador is an excellent name, Goddess. I will suggest it to the priest,” he reassured me.

       “Will he be guarded in the Temple of Anubis as I am here?” I needed to know he would be safe. I had loved no one besides Bast my entire life until I looked into Shador’s little gaze.

       “I will be his personal guard all my life,” he promised me.

       “Thank you.”

       “I am afraid I must take him to his new home now, Goddess,” he informed me. Though his tone was neutral, something in his expression was apologetic.

       “If he must go.” Reluctantly, I handed my brother back to his guard.

       As I watched them carry Shador away, a piece of my heart went with them. If I was a Goddess, why couldn’t I keep my brother? Why was my brother relegated to being a priest when he should be worshipped as I was? Was it really because it would offend the Pharaoh? Shouldn’t they have been more worried about offending the gods?

       Once again a door was opening up my mind to reality. And reality wasn’t very pleasant at all.

* * *

 


	3. Akhom -- The Year I went into his debt. 3011 BC

* * *

       Qiang made it a point to visit once a year. He would always flatter me, leave me presents and gifts. I was quickly growing fond of him, but we didn't speak beyond the short few minutes he was in my temple. I didn't mind his sporadic visits. I had a different boy on my mind though.

       Maybe life would have gone differently if the priests didn't refuse to let me see Shador. I never could, nor can I explain why I needed a deeper connection with my baby brother. Especially when I was content seeing Bast once a year. Perhaps it was some maternal need or something as simple as they told me I couldn't.  Whatever it was, it made me a much less content goddess.

       I would spend my days in the temple as I was supposed to. Thankfully, I wasn't yet a bitch enough to take my anger out on the worshippers who visited my temple. Though I did begin to wonder why they were so certain with their faith. I didn't spare much time thinking about it, but the thought did cross my mind every now and then.

       It had been a few years since Shador was born. He was a toddler starting to walk and I was forbidden from seeing him. Finally, I lost my patience. Goddesses didn't lie, we shouldn't have needed to and in fourteen years of life, I never had. However, I was about to figure out if a Goddess _could_ lie.

       "Nakia," I called to my lady in waiting.

       "Yes, my Goddess?" she asked, quickly stepping beside me.

       "I am feeling unwell," I said. My heart was racing, part of me terrified I would be found out. But why was I afraid? What could they really do to me? "I wish to retire for the rest of the evening."

       "Of course," Nakia replied. She motioned to the temple guards to disperse the followers who were still awaiting my presence.

       Lying back on my litter, I let the guards carry me away and back to my room. They all departed before I stood up. The weight of my actions hit me. I leaned against my bedroom wall. I did it. I lied and no one knew. No one would know as long as my plan worked.

       "Goddess, will you be in need of my care?" Nakia's sincere concern did make my stomach twist with a little guilt.

       "No, Nakia. I will be fine alone. If anyone disturbs me before the sun's first light, I will have them flogged," I commanded. Fear dictated my threat more than the desire for 'privacy.'

       "As you wish, my Goddess," Nakia replied. She bowed and departed from my presence.

       Though I was young, I knew better than to dress as a Goddess when I was trying to remain unnoticed. I took off the ceremonial wig I usually wore over my hair. Though my hair style would be the same, the beads and jewels would be missing. And though I owned no commoner's clothing, I did have a basic robe a foreigner had gifted me.

       From afar my appearance would not be very different from any average girl my age. Unlike my sister, my hair was not a sign of divinity. Only my eyes would give me away and I knew enough to keep my eyes facing the ground to avoid others seeing them.

       Only for Shador or Bast would I go to such lengths to remain hidden. Bast was in Lower Kemet, so there was no way I would be able to sneak out, see her, and be back before dawn. Though as a Goddess of travelers, I really should have had the power to...

       Anyway, Shador was in the Temple of Anubis, which was in Upper Kemet. That temple I was confident I could go to and return before morning. Little did I know there was a major flaw in my plan. I had never been outside the temple alone. Or off of my litter and the world looked very different at night from ground level.

       Imaginary threats were behind every corner. Every shadow that flickered was a monster sent to return a Goddess to the heavens. Never before had I known such fear. My heart raced, my imagination played out my death in ways I wasn’t sure were possible for a Goddess, but my survival instinct did not want to test any of them.

       After a few hours of hiding in the shadows and avoiding every person I saw, I found Anubis’ Temple. It was the middle of the night, but the doors were still open. Death didn’t have a curfew.

       Slowly I walked into the temple entrance. There were a few guards positioned near doorways leading deeper into the temple. I was at a loss. How was I going to find Shador? How was I going to get past the guards?

       “My Goddess?” a deep voice spoke, startling me.

       I turned around to see Shador’s head guard entering the temple.

       “How did you know?” I asked in a hushed voice. Even though he recognized me, I didn’t want anyone else to see me. Desperately, I was praying he wouldn’t make a large commotion.

       “You don’t carry yourself like a commoner,” he explained. “I’m very good at my job. Where are your guards?”

       When I didn’t answer him, he nodded his head as if he understood perfectly. Motioning for me to follow after him, the guard led me towards the back room. It occurred to me that I didn't even know the guard’s name. But I didn't want to ask him yet. Not until I knew where he was leading me.

       "Good evening, Akhom," the other guards greeted. They bowed to him and stood aside for us to pass. Akhom didn't speak to them and they didn't question his presence. Following him through the hallway was very surreal for me. He wasn't treating me like everyone else did.

       "Kebi," he said as soon as we entered a small room. "You should take a break for a while."

       An older woman looked up from where she sat beside Shador's small bed. Her robes were light, but covering.  She looked from Akhom to me and then smiled.

       "As you wish, Akhom." She checked on Shador before leaving us alone with him.

       Akhom walked over to my baby brother and stood beside him.

       "Your priests would be very upset to see you out alone,” he said quietly. Akhom picked Shador up from his bed and carried him over to me. “I will not tell your priests that I saw you here. But you must promise not to leave your temple at night again without proper escort.”

       “They wouldn’t let me,” I complained. As we spoke, he handed my brother to me. Shador woke up and smiled up at me.

       “My Goddess, if you want to see your brother, have your maiden Nakia summon me. I will bring him to you no matter what.” Akhom promised me.

       “Really?” I asked in disbelief.

       “Yes, my Goddess,” he assured me.

       Shador started to babble incoherently to get my attention. I never found out if Akhom was in on some conspiracy or if he was just wise from age. But he let me stay with Shador until the toddler wore himself out. Then he escorted me back to my temple in secret. We did agree that I would not sneak out again. And whenever I had free time and wanted to see Shador, Akhom did bring him to me. I will forever be grateful to Akhom for everything he did for me.

* * *

 


	4. Ramses -- The Year I knew. 3009 BC

* * *

 

       I had recently turned sixteen. Most young girls my age were married or planning to get married. Yet, there I was. A Goddess not even allowed to interact with men outside of my blessing room. None of my servants were even allowed to be male. Only Akhom was allowed to be my company. And Shador when Akhom would bring him.

       I loved watching my brother light up when he saw me. I didn't love the fact he was being raised and trained as a servant. Yet, there was nothing I could do. To demand that he be raised any differently would be to offend Anubis. If it was one thing I learned early on it was the male gods were held to a higher importance than us female ones.

       Why is it people expect bad things to happen on stormy days? When clouds are dark and the sky looks ominous I certainly did. What I never expected was for something terrible to happen on a bright, sunny day.

       Akhom and Shador were supposed to visit me. I had eagerly awaited their arrival. But the sun slid from the sky and the moon began to surface. My stomach churned with worry. No one said anything to me about them and I was too afraid of the answer to ask. When I retired for the night I was supposed to go to bed, but I was too worried to rest.

       Sleep had evaded me most of the night. If not for the layers of face and body paint my priestesses painted on me the next morning, I probably would have looked terrible in front of my followers.

       Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. It was time to find out why Akhom and Shador hadn't visited. But before I had a chance to approach anyone with my question, another of Shador's guards came to my greeting room. He knelt before me, as all of my followers did.

       "Goddess Sekmet, my heart is heavy as I deliver grave news to you," he said in a quiet voice. My chest hurt as dread began to fill my heart.

       "You may speak," I said in a voice much calmer than I felt.

       "Akhom passed away in his sleep a few days ago. Though he is in the realm of Anubis, I know you also favored him." His voice was apologetic, but there was a silent understanding between us.

       I had grown to love Akhom as I imagined I would a father. Of course, I could not admit that my heart felt much heavier in my chest. A Goddess's heart should not feel as if a thousand spears were being stabbed through it because of a simple bodyguard.

       "Thank you for bringing me this news." How I kept my voice from cracking, I still don't know. "You may return to your duties. You have my blessing on your travels."

       He left. To this day, I don't know his name. I was too wrapped up in my own small world. Akhom was gone. He was the first person in my life to die. His death meant a lot of different things to me. After the shock wore off, I realized his passing also meant I would not be able to see Shador.

       I couldn't lose both my brother and Akhom in the same day. Around lunch, I announced that I would be retiring early for the day. Though several of my servants suspected why, they didn't say anything. That's how it was when I proclaimed things like that. It was a death sentence to question a Goddess. Only the head Priest was allowed to set my boundaries. And once they were set, everyone enforced them.

       Alone in my room, I started to let my panic take over. I didn't bother bathing my body paint away. I only removed my wig and jewelry before I grabbed my cloak and left through the secret passage Akhom once helped me to find.

       The second I was at the passage's exit, I froze. It was broad daylight and there were lots of guards, servants, and commoners walking around. How was I going to get to Shador? I would have to be extra careful. Slowly I inched my way out of the passage. I followed the wall, remaining in the shadows. When a group of women walked by, I started to tail them. Close enough to look like I was part of them, but far enough not to draw their attention.

       Every now and then, I would switch groups. Everything was going great, plus playing secret spy was a great distraction from Akhom's death. No one had ever been as good at sneaking around as I was... or so I thought.

       Rounding one of the corners, I accidently bumped into a foreigner.

       "Hello there," he greeted me in a tone I had never heard before. His voice and tone gave my inexperienced teenage self shivers.

       "I didn't mean to bump you." I was trying to keep my eyes down so he wouldn't see their color. "I was on my way to--"

       "No need to apologize, beautiful," he spoke smoothly. The man lifted my chin until our eyes met. He wasn't foreign. At least one of his parents had been from Kemet. But his features were mixed. He had gorgeous golden hair pulled back into a ponytail.

       "My, my what beautiful eyes you have. I've never seen a native of Kemet with green eyes before. You must be the Goddess Sekmet. Now, why would you be out here?" he asked. Though he was using flattery, he was also using a very mocking tone. Which of course put me on the defensive.

       "How dare you touch me," I exclaimed and shoved him away. "I _am_ a Goddess and you're a mere mortal."

       He chuckled at me. He _actually chuckled_ at me. The nerve of that man!

       "Of course you are. Goddesses run around in disguise all the time," he said, stepping back to me. "Do you honestly believe in all of that? Wouldn't you be able to strike me down if you were one?"

       Just because _I_ had been doubting my immortality didn't mean _he_ was allowed to. Even if he was drop dead sexy.

       "I don't have time for this insolence," I angrily shot at him.

       "Where does a Goddess have to rush off to?" he asked, dropping the mocking tone for an amused one.

       I had no intentions of answering him. The plan was to smack his hand away from my chin and waltz right past him. Even though his roguish smile had made me weak in the knees, I was still confident I could do it. Until I heard the sound of heavy footsteps approaching. Which meant the guards were nearby.

       Panic began to set in again. I had to see Shador. Not just for my sake, but for his as well. Akhom hadn't just been like a father to me. He was a father to Shador. There was only one person I could ask for help and Shador was important enough for me to set aside my pride for.

       "I need to see my brother, don't let them take me back," I pleaded quickly.

       The man's expression became confused. He glanced behind me and then back down to me.

       "Alright, Goddess. Don't slap me," he said in a low voice.

       In a swift rush of movement, he had me pinned between him and the wall. Our size difference kept me mostly hidden. I didn't understand why he told me not to slap him until he leaned down and captured my lips with his.

       My breath froze in my chest. No man had ever touched me before, let alone kissed me. And though I was inexperienced in kissing, it was obvious he wasn't. The man kept our lips together as he ran his hand under my cloak to caress the skin of my lower back. His lips left mine to trail along my chin to my ear.

       "Let me do the talking," he whispered against my ear. Shivers went through my body. My mind was trying to remember why I had been angry with this man. The voice of one of my temple guards made me freeze again.

       "What are you doing, foreigner?" the guard demanded.

       "Just enjoying the sights and I'm a bit busy here," he replied without looking back to them. "Do you boys mind? I'm sure you know what it's like to be many weeks without a woman's touch."

       Though I couldn't see the guards, I heard them begin to shift uncomfortably. In an attempt to go along with the charade, I ran my hands up his chest and over his shoulders. When the man ignored the guards and went back to keeping me from clear thoughts with his light kisses down my neck, the guards chuckled and started to walk away.

       When I couldn't hear the guards anymore, I pulled my hands down and put them on his chest to push him away. The man stopped his kissing and brought his face to meet mine. Our noses were almost touching. Gods and Goddesses I had never been so horny before in all of my sixteen years of life. Then again, I hadn't really been introduced to lust before him.

       "You would dare run your hands over a Goddess?" I demanded in a very breathless tone. I wasn't the best at keeping my cool.

       "When she's enjoying it, I see no reason not to. We could continue this you know," he whispered seductively.

       "I don't even know your name," I said that as if it was the only reason I shouldn't have sex with him.

       "My name is Ramses. I could help you get to your brother," he offered. Ramses pulled his hand back, letting it slide along my side.

       I stepped away from him and shook my head. "I don't need your help. I wouldn't have gotten caught if you had just let me be on my way."

       He stepped back, looking very amused by me. Annoyed again, I tried to step past him, but I tripped. I fell to my knee, scraping it. The pain was intense, but I was used to worse during my cycles. What shocked me most was the red liquid coming from the scrape. I was bleeding from a _wound_.

       "Are you okay, Goddess?" Ramses asked as he leaned down to help me up.

       "I'm fine," I lied. I pushed myself up and ran to Anubis' temple. Ramses didn't follow me. For which I was very grateful. I needed time to accept the fact I had been suspecting for years. I wasn't a Goddess. I was mortal. One day, I would die. One day, my sister and my brother would die.

       I... was mortal.

* * *

 

 


	5. Sapphire -- The Year I also became Fascinated 3009 BC

* * *

 

       Shador's presence had calmed me for several hours before I returned to my temple. He had bandaged my leg without asking how I got hurt. My brother had many scrapes and scratches and for some reason, he hadn't questioned how I got mine. I should have known he was too young to know the difference between mortal and immortal standards.

       I paced my chambers, running everything through my head. What was I going to do? When I started aging, would they burn me to return me to the heavens? Or would they bury me with the pharaoh? I refused. I refused to be disposed of in such a way. But what could I do?

       It was a man's world. Even if I ran away I would be powerless. I had no skills to survive in the outside world. It was a dangerous and dark place. Sighing, I sat on one of my giant pillows. I would remain there, as a Goddess and do as I was told. As I always had. At least until I could figure out something better.

       Having calmed down, I remembered Ramses. His lips against mine... his hand over my skin... goosebumps travelled all along me. Part of me wished he knew about my secret passage. I imagined him sneaking into my room and smiling at me. Ramses hadn't seen me as a Goddess. He'd mocked the very idea. But he had been interested in me as a woman. Or so I thought.... how was one to tell if he liked me or my body?

       With a content sigh, I sank even further into my pillow. My girlish mind started to create fantasies of Ramses saving me from my temple as he had saved me from the guards. Most of my fantasies were very tame. I imagined him kissing me, holding me, running his hands over me, but I was more than content with them ending there. Sex wasn’t something I _knew_ about, let alone fantasized.

       Though I lacked a solution to my imprisonment, I fell asleep to my memory of Ramses’s voice.

       When my servants and ladies in waiting came to bathe and dress me the next day, I said nothing to them. None of them commented on the bandage around my leg. Instead, they redid the bandage for me. Was everyone aware that I wasn’t really a goddess? Or was it only those who worked in the temple? Perhaps I was over thinking. They were probably too scared to inquire about the scrape. Afraid I’d have them killed for implying I was anything less than a goddess.

       With their silence came the resignation that my day would be like any other day. I was pleasantly surprised when my first visitor for the day was Ramses.

       “Good morning, Goddess,” he greeted me with his roguish smile. “I have long been searching for a Priest of your gods. My travels have led me to your temple. Do you by chance know of a priest named Adom?”

       Trying to keep the giddiness from my tone, I said, “I have heard of him. He was a priest of this temple. He left before I was born. What is your interest in him?” Normally I didn’t ask about my followers’ motivations, but I couldn’t prevent my curiosity as far as he was concerned.

       “He was my father,” Ramses replied. He smiled a little wider at my surprised expression. “My travels continue. Have you travelled anywhere, Goddess Sekmet?”

       His question took me by surprise. No one had ever asked me that. Though it made perfect sense for a goddess of travel to actually travel, I never had.

       “No. I have never been outside of Kemet,” I answered him, my usual confident tone replaced with the uncertainty I felt.

       “That’s a shame. There’s so much of the world to see.” Ramses shifted from kneeling to sitting with his legs closed. “If you’ll permit me, I can tell you about parts of the world I have been to.”

       “That would greatly please me,” I said, a little too eagerly.

       “Where I’m from we have a great mountain. It’s said to be the home of our gods,” he began his story with an amused smile. “My mother is the high priestess of a fertility god. My people believe she’s descended from him.”

       “Wouldn’t that make you a godling to your people?” I asked. Though we did not believe our gods had mortal descendants, we knew other lands had godlings. Or more we believed other lands did. We also believed our gods took mortal bodies for a time.

       “My people do believe that. But I’m so far down the bloodline that I haven’t inherited anything from him. Well, nothing a pure virgin goddess such as yourself should know about,” he corrected. His tone sent shivers down my spine. Ramses was much better at the game than I. At the time, I didn’t even know there was a game to be played.

       “How unfortunate,” I said, keeping my tone as neutral as I could. Several of my hand maidens giggled and exchanged looks. Ramses glanced at them, obviously taking in their looks. It was then I began to discover my green eyed view of things.

       “Do go on about your gods’ mountain,” I commanded, drawing his attention back to me.

       “Of course, Goddess,” he replied. “The mountain is unlike your desert. It’s covered in forests and the higher you go the colder it gets. The... well, you don’t have a word for it in your language. It’s called heeoni in mine. Heeoni reaches our temple when it gets cold enough.”

       “Heeoni?” I asked about the word I had never heard before.

       “How to describe it?” Ramses leaned back on his hands while he thought. After a silent minute of pondering, he spoke, “It’s white and cold. When heeoni gets warm it melts to water. Boiling heeoni is the easiest way to get water during the cold seasons when the rivers freeze over.”

       “Your rivers freeze over?” I asked in horror. If our great river, The Nile, ever froze over my people would lose our primary source of water. Crops and people would die of thirst.

       “Some of them, yes. But it would take a considerable cold season to freeze your river,” he reassured me. “Lands vary greatly sometimes. Weather, people, customs, everything. Other times lands can be very similar, even if they’re nowhere near each other.”

       “Really? Have you ever been to the orient?” I inquired, leaning comfortably into the pillow on my litter.

       “I have not,” he admitted. “My land is young compared to theirs and yours. Trade routes are not very easy to come across.”

       “A man from there visits my temple every year. He brings offerings from his land. Maybe you could talk to him about the routes he uses,” I suggested in an attempt to keep him in the area for a while.

       “I’m afraid unless he visits tomorrow, I won’t have time. I have been searching for my father for a long time. If I am to find him before he dies, I must continue my travels as quickly as I can.”

       “That is unfortunate.” My disappointment was clear to everyone.

       “Would the Goddess bless my travels?” he asked.

       “I can only give blessings when offerings are given,” I answered, regaining my composure.

       “Of course. I had almost forgotten.” Ramses reached into a pouch and pulled out a necklace. He placed it in front of him and let one of my temple maidens bring it to me.

       I took the onyx necklace and examined it. Carved into the onyx at intervals was a blue gemstone I didn’t recognize.

       “What is this?” I inquired while I ran my fingers over the blue gems.

       “It’s called a sapphire,” he answered.

       In my land we had sapphires, though they were pink and we called them something else. However, at the time I didn’t know that. Those strange blue gems were the most beautiful things I had ever seen.

       “This is sufficient for my blessings.” I placed the necklace on. Instead of being circular, it followed the square shape of my collar bone.

       “Thank you. I have taken up too much of your time,” he said. Ramses stood up and bowed to me. “I’ll see you when I return, Goddess.”

       He left before I could think of something to say that didn’t reveal how much I looked forward to his return. Ramses was probably somewhere between five and seven years older than I. But I didn’t care. Qiang had held my interest, but Ramses fascinated me and though I want to be cheesy and say he held my heart, he really held my hormones. I was far too young to understand love. 

* * *

 


	6. Qiang -- The Year I promised my Soul 3006 BC

* * *

 

       Three years had passed and Ramses hadn’t returned. I was nineteen and growing impatient with my life. The older I became the more obvious it was that I was a powerless pawn. The only constant man in my life had become Qiang. Instead of annual visit, Qiang had begun to visit my temple every few months.

       It was during one of these visits I decided to sate my curiosity.

       “Qiang, why do you come to visit me so often?” I inquired while I observed him.

       “Because my Goddess, I am enamored with you,” he answered without hesitation. As if he had been waiting for me to ask.

       “Really? And what is it about me that has you so enamored?” I demanded. He barely knew me and he certainly didn’t know _me._

       “Maybe we could speak in private?” His request was bold. My heart began to pound with the idea of being alone with him. I dismissed the nervousness, convinced it was just because he was attractive and young as opposed to dangerous.

       “Is the answer to my question really so secret, Qiang?” I said smoothly.

       “Yes.”

       Intrigued by his potential reason, I motioned for my servants to carry my litter to my chambers.

       “Goddess, I do not thi—“

       “Did I ask for your opinion?” I snapped at a hand maiden.

       She hung her head in silence and stepped out of the way. Qiang followed my guards as they carried me. I arrogantly dismissed them from my chambers and waited for Qiang to talk.

       “A woman such as yourself deserves the power you were promised at birth,” he started to explain and walked towards me.

       “What do you mean?” I asked him suspiciously.

       “You were told that you are a goddess. Promised immortality and the power to bless or curse others.” Qiang spoke with a seductive tone. He stopped walking when he reached me. “We both know that you’re a mortal woman.”

       “If that is all true. _Why_ are you so enamored?” I continued to allow suspicion and curiosity to dictate my actions.

       “You are truly unique,” he said as he sat down beside me. “I’ve never seen a woman like you. I could give you immortality and power.” Qiang leaned over, his lips beside my ear. “But most importantly, I can give you what you want most. The thing that’s been eating away at you for years.”

       “Oh? What do you think that is?” I asked, trying to remain calm. But as with Ramses, I lacked physical experience with men. My heart was racing, my body sending mixed signals of quivering desire and trepidation.

       “Freedom to travel,” he whispered my desire like a forbidden gift.

       “What would you ask of me in return?” I wasn’t fool enough to believe he would do all of this for free. Fantasies of being rescued had died already. As a woman, I was certain there was only one thing I could offer him he'd want.

       “I want you.” He trailed his fingers down my arm, sending chills through me. “But not yet. My gift will stop you from aging. You’re still growing. I want to wait to give you my gift until I know you’re ready.”

       "When will that be?" I pushed his hand away from my arm. Not all of the chills running through me were welcoming. "And how do you want _me_?"

       "I want all of you. My gift will give you power, but it will also leave you feeling very weak for a while," he explained to me. "You'll need someone to look after you during your transitioning. A sire to show you how to use your powers and how to avoid your weaknesses."

       "What weakness would I need to avoid?" I asked, both intrigued and terrified by what he was offering me. What he described sounded like something out of a myth. Myths with weaknesses didn't ever end well. I was of course suspicious. "What would I become?"

       "A goddess on earth," he replied, repeating my fake standing. "A real one. Only I would have power over you. No one else could stop you from doing whatever you wanted. Do you want to become a real goddess?"

       Should I have said no? Possibly. Did I say no?

       "Would you gift my sister and my brother as well?" I asked, determined to free my siblings from our imprisonment.

       "No. But I'll give you the power to turn them into gods," he answered. He placed a hand on each of my upper arms. Somehow I felt more trapped than reassured by the action yet...

       I would have the power to save my sister and brother. We would all be free. And all I had to do was answer to Qiang. It wouldn't be that different than answering to the high priest.

       "How do I know you're telling the truth?" I whispered the question, a little afraid he couldn't provide the proof I needed. More terrified that he could.

       His left hand glided up my arm. Gently, he pulled my chin until my face was close to his and wrapped his other arm around my waist. I gasped when I saw his eyes glow crimson. Then he smiled to reveal four of his teeth were long and sharp. I tried to pull away, but he effortlessly held me in place.

       "Don't be frightened," he cooed to me. "I told you I'm not human. Calm down."

       My heart began to pound even faster as my thoughts raced. Even though he could completely overpower me, his deal was still running through my mind. Temptation steeled my nerves. _I_ could inspire true fear in others. _I_ could make people tremble in fear.

       "How would you give me power?" I asked, too wrapped up with the idea of what I could do once I had my power to remember what I was giving up.

       "I will take some of your life force and give you some of mine," he said it so simply. It sounded so easy.

       "How--"       

       "Should I show you?" he offered seductively.

       Filled with terror and eagerness, all I could do was nod. Qiang leaned forward, taking my lips with his. My breath quickened when he started to trail his lips along my jaw to neck. Without warning I felt a sharp pain in my throat. He held me still as I tried to push him off, but after a few seconds my mind went fuzzy.

       Everything felt...right. I felt so good, all my doubts and worries fled from my mind. His fangs pulled out of my neck, but his lips continued to travel down. He slid his hand underneath the strap of my top and cupped my breast.

       My breathing grew rapid, I didn't understand what he was doing, but I knew it felt nice. His touch was icy, but in my fuzz filled mind the cold didn't matter. When he gently pushed me onto my back, I didn't resist at all. His hand travelled from my breasts to my belt. He removed the belt, pulling the skirt I wore with it.  His crimson gaze locked with mine.

       Where his hands went next are a blur in my memory. I don't remember much beyond the pain between my legs warring with the fog of ecstasy in my mind.

       What I remember clearly was waking up alone the next day. My body was clean as were the clothes I wore. But I didn't feel clean. I felt filthy, empty, hollow, confused, hurt, I couldn't even begin to decipher everything I was feeling. I bathed for several hours, refusing to let anyone else assist me. No one was allowed to touch me.

       I had sold myself, my body, my virginity for power I couldn't even have for several years. Only Qiang knew how long it would be before he let me have my power. The only thought that kept me from shedding any tears was knowing that Bast and Shador would be free as well. And they wouldn't have to pay the price I did. I would die before I let that happen. Or... Qiang would have to die. If I could kill him.

* * *

 


	7. Enslaved -- The Year I decided what it took to become a Goddess. 3006 BC

* * *

 

       It was hard to face the world. Hard to face either of my siblings for a while. Good thing I didn’t have to. All I had to do, was listen to my worshippers and continue blessing people as I always had. But... would I be there for the rest of my life? What Qiang did to me couldn’t have been in vain. Even believing in his promise it was still years away.

 _'What are you, Qiang?’_ I wondered one day while I listened to another of my people tell me of the journey he was to take.  I was so tired of listening to other people’s travels. Once he left, I stood from my litter. Somehow, my life needed to change faster.

       “Goddess, what are you doing?” a handmaiden asked as she stared at the floor.

       “I’m going for a walk,” I declared. “There are no more visitors today and I desire to see the village.”

       A collective gasp ran through my servants, but I didn’t care. I began to walk towards the front of my temple, determined to go out.

       “Goddess, you ca—“

       “I can’t _what?_ ” I demanded, turning to face one of my guards. “I am Sekmet, Goddess of Upper Kemet. Not you, my priests, nor the Pharaoh himself, have the power to control me. I have lived for nineteen years inside this temple and I _will_ go out there to see _my people_. If you fear for my safety, then escort me. But you _will not_ stop me.”

       The guard stood, frozen in place. Never before I had outright demanded such freedom and _no one_ spoke against the Pharaoh. But what could they do? Have their Goddess executed? They would never even consider it.

       “O-of course. My apologies, Goddess,” he sputtered. “Haji, Fenuku, Nassor, surround our Goddess.”

       The four guards who usually carried my litter each took a position around me. As soon as I began walking, they mirrored my steps. A few of my servants scurried to catch up with me, holding fans and a parasol over me. They were just doing their jobs of course, ensuring I did not overheat, burn, or tire.

       The villagers were shocked to see me walking among them. They were dressed modestly, the extent of their make-up kohl around the eyes and a few face markings. Whereas I was dressed in expensive silks and painted head to toe in make-up and sacred symbols. Never before had one of their gods walked among them.

       But, I no longer cared if they killed me for not being a goddess or if they discovered my mortality. No, I cared, I no longer _feared_ what would happen.

       With confidence, I strolled down the streets, smiling and waving to my people. Once the shock wore off, they smiled and cheered. Many of them came to bow as I walked past.

       That was how I felt my life should have been. I spotted a few orphaned children and ordered Haji to give them some of my gold. He didn't hesitate to take some gold from his own pouch and give it to the children for food. Women would bring their babies to me and I would kiss their foreheads, blessing them as a Goddess of Fertility should.

       Something had happened to me. I couldn't explain it and didn't care to dwell for too long, but I felt stronger. As if my word mattered even though I was a woman. There were amused glimmers reflecting in the eyes of my guards and hand-maidens. For once, they all looked proud to serve me.

       When the sun began to set, my guards insisted I return to my temple. That night, many people left large offerings of food and wine before my alter. I decided I would use it all to throw a celebration for my people at the end of the week. And every week I would throw a party based on what they donated to my temple.

       Whispers and rumors flew of my sudden change, but none of the priests bothered to correct my behavior. I was left to do whatever I wished... almost.

       For some reason, whenever I looked at a young man I might have been attracted to, my skin itched. I could feel Qiang's hand over me again. Whenever I received a more than friendly smile, I could feel his teeth in my neck, taking my life force from me. No matter what a man wore, said, or did, I could not find a man appealing. All my thoughts would drift back to Qiang.

       It wasn't until a few months later when I was letting a hand-maiden brush my hair out I noticed something out of place. Though his bite had healed, there was an odd feeling around the area. The skin around it began to heat up, I clutched my neck, panic beginning to consume me.

       "Goddess?" my handmaiden asked, concern rooting her where she stood.

       "I see my claim has taken effect," Qiang said, standing against my wall in the shadows.

       "Your what?" I asked quietly. The burning had dissipated, but I was afraid talking would bring it back.

       "You have been a busy Goddess," he said, amused. Looking to my maiden, he waved her off. I noticed a dull glow around the whites of her eyes as she soundlessly obeyed him.

       "Answer me," I demanded hoarsely, I could barely speak through the returning fire on my throat.

       "First rule, my darling," he said with a sickeningly sweet tone. Until he delivered his rule in a stern threat. "You don't ever demand anything from me." His eyes began to turn crimson again, but cooled off to black as he straightened his collar. "I can give you the answer to your question even though I don't approve of the tone you used. When I visited with you last time I marked you as mine. Whenever I call for you, that area will burn. Whenever you anger me, that will begin to burn in warning."

       As he spoke the burning sensation lessened. Rubbing my neck, I focused only on what I could gain from this bargain.

       "Forgive me." My tone was dull, emotionless. I had never before asked anyone for forgiveness, but I recognized that he wasn't mortal. Whatever he was, I needed to make him believe I worshipped him. Feed his ego, make him happy, and I would win. But to do that I knew I had to act like a woman who wanted him. Using my best seductive tone, I asked him, "How should I address you?"

       "Now isn’t that attitude better?" He practically purred. "I will become your sire. Refer to me as such."

       Qiang sat down on one of my many large pillows. He watched me expectantly, like a jackal watched gravediggers disposing of bodies. Hunger dripped from his gaze, sending shivers down my spine. I realized he was testing me, waiting to see how long it would take me to break.

       "Of course, Sire," I spoke respectfully. Determined to keep myself from wandering in the dark, I sauntered over to him and slid into his lap. "Sire, what am I to become? What are you?" As I spoke, I ran my finger along his jaw line, bringing his lips close to mine. Revulsion doesn't begin to describe what I felt, but I had to do it. 

       With an amused glimmer in his eye, Qiang wrapped his hand around my waist.

       "Sekmet, my sweet, I promise you next time I visit I will explain to you what a Blestemat is," he whispered. His lips closed the miniscule space I had left. As his tongue danced with mine, my stomach began to twist and knot. His hands slid down my body, trailing under my clothing.

       One day I would be free of this man. Until that day, I had to make him happy. To be a Goddess I would first learn to be a slave.              

* * *

 


	8. Bast -- The Year she agreed. 3005BC

* * *

 

       My favorite time of the year had arrived. Bast and I would be turning twenty and able to see each other for the first time all year. I had heard rumors of change in her temple’s activities, which made me worry a little. But I wouldn't believe she had her own version of Qiang if I didn't have to.

       I sat atop my litter, anxiously waiting for Bast's envoy to appear from the desert. Nakia had ensured my make-up was perfect and that my body paint resembled a lion's coat. I wore a deep red linen skirt and a golden collar, beneath which Nakia had given me a shear sleeveless top that tucked into my skirt and had almost no back.

       During most ceremonies I would wear a shear top or no top at all since my high priest deemed it was time for me to dress as such. Usually I would also have a lion-headdress, but for meeting Bast all that was required of me was a very ornate wig lined with golden beads. Nakia had complained he waited too long and that I should have been dressing that way since I hit puberty. I was very fond of her.

       Though I wore a mask of complete calm, my guards and servants knew better. Since taking control of my temple, everyone who served me seemed to have learned to read my moods. Maybe we had bonded a bit, who knows? And I did have a lot of political power back then. Not even Pharaoh went against my word... on most things.

       Finally, my sister's tent came into view. Many slaves were carrying the tent so Bast could travel inside on her litter, protected from the scorching desert sun and dry air. When they reached the entrance to my temple, it took every ounce of self-control I possessed to remain seated. The tent was opened and four servants carried my sister's litter towards my alter.

       Once they placed her down, Bast and I didn't spare a second before we stood and speed walked to each other. Being careful not to smudge our body paint, we took each other's hands.

       "Oh, Sekmet, it's so good to see you," Bast proclaimed, looking me over. "I have had a sinking feeling all year. If not for Jumoke's constant reassurance you were safe, I would have made them hold the ceremony many months sooner."

       Her concern touched my heart. Even though we were so far apart, she had sensed my plight. _Of course_ Bast had known when I was upset. She always sensed those things. I wasn't sure if I lacked that gift, or if Bast had just never been in the same kind of danger.

       "I am safe," I replied noncommittally. I would have to confess my deal to her. After all, I wanted her and Shador to leave Kemet with me. Before that I wanted to enjoy seeing my sister and catch up on everything we needed. She gave me a knowing look, but didn't push further.

       "Jumoke," she said sweetly, a weight behind her words I couldn't explain. "I do think this year I am going to require more than a day here."

       "Are you certain, Goddess?" a very attractive male guard asked her.

       "Yes, I am very certain. It won't be more than three days though. Do send a messenger to my high priest for me?" she requested with a rather charming smile.

       Jumoke bowed his head to her as he gave a fellow guard orders. The guard ran off, probably to find a messenger. I watched my sister curiously as we made our way to my private greeting room. With a nod of my own, I signaled my guards to leave us alone. They wouldn't be far, but I knew they wouldn't eavesdrop... or at the very least they wouldn't gossip.

       "You certainly seemed to have a reign over your temple," I commented as calmly as I could. Part of me was happy she seemed to have more freedom than the last time we spoke. Another part of me dreaded what price she may have paid for it.

       "I have you to thank for it actually," she confessed a little shyly, twirling part of her wig with her finger.

       "Oh?" I pressed, growing a little impatient with her.

       "When I heard the rumors you were taking charge here, I decided I should take charge of my temple as well," she explained. Bast seemed to gain confidence as she told me her story. "Only I wasn't nearly as brave as you were to bluntly defy my servants and guards. Instead, I figured out the priests were very accommodating whenever I would ask them for things if I worded it more as a request than a command."

       "And what if you wanted something you knew they would deny you?" I thought I had her with that one.

       "Those take more work. But if I talk to them a few times before, I've found I can convince them it was their idea. Usually," Bast explained as she leaned back against some extra soft pillows I had been gifted.

       "You are a clever one," I said proudly. It seemed my sister was more clever than I when it came to handling the priests.

       "And what of you?" she inquired with a bit of demand in her tone. "You are what inspired me to take a larger role in running my temple, but what made you decide to?"

       "Restlessness. I was just tired of performing morning ceremonies and then doing nothing to really help any of our people. We constantly accept gifts and what do our followers get in return?" I loved talking to Bast. She was the only person I could be completely honest with.

       "A lot more now," she replied cheerfully. "I think the weekly festivals have helped to put our followers in Lower Kemet at ease better than my blessings."

       I nodded to her. There was something I wanted to ask her, but I didn't know how. Instead of speaking, I observed my sister, mentally comparing our looks. We were nearly identical, but she had white hair under her wig. I was never sure if she was actually lighter skinned or if her hair and linens made her appear lighter than me. In our culture, white was the color of purity. And to me, Bast was far purer than I would ever be.

       After the silence lasted longer than usual between us, she frowned and watched me with a very concerned expression.

       "What is it, Sekmet?" she asked, her voice practically oozed concern.

       "Have you ever thought of leaving Kemet?" I asked quietly, afraid of the repercussions if anyone heard us.

       "What?" Bast's expression was one mixed with guilt and disbelief. I knew her well enough to be relieved by the guilt on her face. "Actually," she said reluctantly. "I have. But we can't. Sekmet and Bast are too important to our people. If we just abandon them, they'll be crushed. They'll claim the gods have forsaken them. Or they'll go the other extreme route--"  
  
       "And they'll say we were imposters and hunt us down until we're punished and burned for our blasphemy," I finished the horrible truth for her. We either damned our people or we damned ourselves. But she didn't know the third option. "But what if we could? What if there was a way to leave and appease our people? Would you?"

       "I would go anywhere you lead me, Sekmet," she said with conviction. "But if I don't think it will work I will _not_ let you do it."

       That was one of the things I would come to love most about Bast. She had enough confidence in me to trust my judgment, but she also knew no one's judgment was infallible.

       "Bast, there are things out there that aren't mortal," I whispered, not wanting anyone to hear. "Creatures that can give us the power to claim our freedom."

       "And what price do these creatures want?" she asked, her whisper equally quiet.

       "Don't worry about--"  
  
       "What did you do, Sekmet?" her accusation was so sincere, so filled with worry, I wasn't sure how to feel about it. My stomach twisted in knots, my gaze turning to the floor.

       "He wants me. That's all, Bast." I tried to regain my confidence as I explained, "I agreed in exchange for power and freedom that he could have me."

       "And you're okay with this trade?" she pressed me, lifting my chin so she could read my eyes.

       "Bast, he has the power to take me whether I like it or not. But if he's going to use me, I'm going to get something out of it," I spoke the words I had been denying to myself for months.

       "And how long does he want you?" she asked, calming down a bit. I could see her thinking over what she had learned.

       "I don't know. He won't grant me the immortality until we're twenty-five. Some weird rule of his bloodline." I laid back against my pillows.

       "Alright. We need to figure out what kind of power he'll grant. Then we can figure out how to use it to appease our people." Bast shifted to lay her head on my shoulder. "I wish you hadn't taken the price on your shoulders. I would share it with you."

       "Bast, I could not bear it if you did," I confessed, placing my arm around her shoulders. "I'm not sure you could either."   

       "Are you saying you're stronger than I?" she demanded. I guess I offended her with that.

       "No. I'm just different. And I believe the way I'm different makes me better at handling Qiang. Have you ever loved a man?"

       "I believe I have become overly fond of one," she admitted quietly. "I would not want to do anything with a man I didn't love. If we were even allowed such luxuries. Have you?"

       "There was one I thought I might." As I spoke, I thought of Ramses. "He had dark skin and golden hair, darker than yours. But I haven't seen him for years. I don't mind the idea of using sex for personal gain. It is what slaves are used for anyway."

       "You are not a slav--"

       "But we are, Bast. We are slaves to our temples, slaves to our gods. One day, I will take us all away from this."

       "Shador as well?"

       "Yes. And no one will be able to control us again." I made my vow to her and to myself. I wasn't naive enough to believe Qiang would not be my master. I would let him control me until I saw another option.

       "Can we see Shador?" she asked, disturbing my thoughts.

       "Nakia," I called loudly. Once she appeared in the doorway, I requested, "Will you have someone escort Shador? Bast wishes to see him."

       "Of course, Goddess." She cheerfully went to fulfil my request.

       "Alright, enough of this. It's time to be happy and enjoy your visit," I said, giving her a small hug. "We both need to be washed and repainted."

       She chuckled, which made me chuckle. I hated to see her sad, hated to see Shador sad. I loved them both and I loved their smiles. Maybe it was because our mothers were dead and our father was a worthless braggart who only claimed us because we were divine, but I saw it as my job to protect them. My job to defend them. Silly I know considering all the guards we had surrounding us. But guards didn't make one happy. I wanted them happy.

       Honestly, I always knew I would have done anything for either of my siblings. And at the time I didn't realize how true that was. But I would learn... oh would I learn...

* * *

 


	9. Disagree- The Year we agreed to disagree. 3005 BC

* * *

 

       Whether the heat from my neck or my internal clock woke me, I wasn’t sure. What I was sure of was that _he_ was thinking of me again. Judging from the minor amount of heat, he wasn't planning to visit for a while.  It was getting easier and easier for me to know exactly how he was feeling whenever he thought of me. Maybe I should have been worried about how accustomed to the heat I was becoming, but I saw it as my advantage.

       Slowly, I tried to sit up and realized I had two weights on my shoulders. Bast was sleeping and didn't seem to appreciate me pushing her from my right shoulder. However, all she did was roll over and settle back into a peaceful dream. On the other side, Shador was peacefully curled against me.

       I smiled warmly at him. Having been raised as a servant to Anubis, my brother wasn't used to the finer things. Much more gently, I rolled him off of my shoulder. Without protest, he shifted and curled into one of my pillows.

       I stretched, rolling my sore shoulders. As I did every morning, I walked over to the statue of the real Goddess Sekmet and performed a small ceremony in her honor. Years before I would have performed the ceremony much more sincerely, but by then I had almost given up on the gods. Still, I held out a little hope.

       "Goddess," Nakia spoke quietly. "I have prepared your bath. Would you like me to add your usual oils?"

       "Yes, I would," I replied in a whisper. "Let them sleep until they wake themselves. And have breakfast prepared for all of us."

       "Shall I send word to Anubis' temple?" she asked hesitantly. "The priest would not appreciate Shador shirking his duties."

       "Shador will not be shirking his duties. He is to serve the Gods. Anubis will not mind sparing him one day to serve two Goddesses of War," I reasoned for her.

       "As you wish, Goddess." Nakia bowed and waited for me to take the lead.

       Walking to a bathing room, I allowed Nakia to take my linen gown off of me. Then I stepped into the cool water and waited patiently while Nakia and several other women bathed me. They combed my hair and inspected my limbs for any excess paint or make-up they may have missed the night before. Trust me when I say this took a lot of patience because hot bathes weren't around yet.

       Once I was properly bathed, they began to exchange the dirty water for clean by taking the buckets of used water to the gardens and bringing in fresh buckets for Bast's bath. I walked to my room naked and allowed Nakia to dry me once we arrived.

       Bast and Shador had awoken in my absence and were playing Senet, a popular board game in those times played by throwing sticks to move around the board. The goal was to be the one who retrieved all their pieces first.

       Unfortunately, as Nakia retrieved my body paints, a servant went to Bast and interrupted their game. Bast smiled and told Shador they would finish after breakfast. He grinned and watched as she was led away. Once she was gone from sight, he walked over and sat down to watch Nakia begin painting me for the day. Soon another woman came to assist her and a third began preparing my outfit.

       "Something on your mind, Shador?" I asked him. Usually my brother entertained himself while I prepared for the day.

       Shador looked down in thought. He was very silent for a while. Finally, he looked back up at me, his gaze went to my neck where I knew Qiang's mark should be, but no one else could see it. Slowly, his gaze turned worried as he looked up to meet mine, something else he rarely did because of how the priests were raising him.

       "Nothing, Goddess. I thought I saw something," he answered. I hated how Shador spoke when there were others around. Especially given his young age, he was only eight and he spoke like a man who had served for much longer.

       "Nakia," I spoke her name softly, but firmly. Understanding what I wanted, she allowed the other woman to finish painting my leg before ushering the women out.

       Once we were alone, I looked at Shador and calmly asked, "What did you see?"

       "Marks on your neck," he answered and pointed to the same spot on his own neck. "They weren't good. Like a monster had tried to eat you."

       His answer worried me. _'How do you know?'_ I let my mind run through every possibility.

       "Is the foreign man a monster?" His sudden shift in question shocked me into silence. "He reminds me of the corpses we prepare for Sobek's judgment."

       "Shador, I need you to keep everything you just said a secret," I said, pushing my panic down and keeping a firm grasp on my calm tone. "Do you promise?"

       Shador reluctantly nodded his head. "Be careful big sister. I would die if I could not see you anymore," he admitted, throwing his arms around me.

       I held him tightly with one arm and stroked his hair with another. Bast entered and immediately dismissed the servants who had followed her. Our gazes met and she understood.

       "Shador, would you like to get dressed up with us today?" she asked him as she knelt before him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

       Slowly, he released me and nodded his head. Shador loved the few times he was pampered with us.

       "Nakia," I called. Instantly, servants entered to paint my siblings and to fix mine. While we were being prepared, Bast made sure Shador and she finished their game. We did love to spoil our little brother.

       For the festival Bast and I were dressed in white linen skirts and large collars with sheer fabric hanging down and tucked into our skirts. As usual we wore lots of bracelets, rings, armlets, anklets, if they could fit the jewelry on us we were wearing it. My paint patterns resembled a lioness while Bast resembled a large black cat.

       Shador was wearing a white linen skirt as well with a large collar and a few arm bands. Since he wasn't a god they couldn't decorate him quite as much.

       While Shador waited beside Nakia near our temporary 'thrones', for lack of a better word, Bast and I performed our ritual dance in honor of the Goddesses. The dance itself was modest, we stepped carefully in a pattern resembling a figure eight, spinning slowly in time to the music being played around us. Towards the end, we mirrored each other through the motions of our daily morning ritual.

       Once we finished, our people bowed and I assumed everyone said a silent praise or prayer. Then the music grew louder and the celebrating commenced. Bast and I went to our seats to watch the festivities and take advantage of the crowd's noise to mask our conversation.

       "Shador, would you like a seat?" Bast asked him, trying not to show more concern than we should.

       "No..." he said a little distracted. Our brother was watching the celebrations with steadfast curiosity.

       "Would you like to go out there?" Bast asked with a smile on her face.

       Wide-eyed, Shador looked between the two of us awaiting approval.

       "Jumoke?" Bast had barely called his name before the guard appeared at her side. "Would you take Shador to enjoy himself?"

       "Anything for you, my Goddess," he replied with an odd note in his voice. They exchanged looks before Jumoke led an excited Shador through the crowd.

       "Jumoke, huh?" I asked my sister suspiciously. "Maybe there's a reason you're so content being a Goddess."

       "Sekmet!" she exclaimed, her cheeks darkening as she glanced down. "Jumoke is only my bodyguard."

       "I didn't say he was more," I egged her on. "Maybe someone will confess her crimes before they are even known."

       "We're not- it's--" she sighed deeply. "I wish. But we are Goddesses. We're to remain pure and we certainly cannot take husbands, lovers, or any interests in men."

       "Yet, we can't stop that, can we?" I asked, thinking of Ramses... but I knew from Bast's expression she felt the weight of that imprisonment more than I. For one thing, I barely knew the man and had by then figured out my silly crush was _only_ a crush. Most days I didn't think of him. Bast wasn't so lucky.

       The claim we must remain pure was something I detested. The gods did not refrain from sex, it wasn’t actually impure. I was pretty sure the priests just didn’t want to deal with potential drama or any Goddess’s lovers revealing our mortality. After all, I hadn’t been a virgin for several years and none of them seemed to notice.

       "No, we can't. He's so sweet, Sekmet. And intelligent. We talk whenever there are no visitors to the temple," she said, speaking as quietly as she could. "Jumoke never fails to cheer me up when I'm down and the first few times I tried to assert my authority, he backed me up. But, I can never be his and he knows that..."

       When she didn't speak again for several moments, I assumed the worst. "Does he plan to marry another?" I asked as gently as I could.

       "If he were, I think I could hurt and then heal. However, he's taken a vow to his Goddess. He will not marry and he will serve me until death," Bast explained with both pain and pride in her voice.

       "And you can't turn his vow away without shaming him," I finished for her. "I'm sorry, Bast."

       "Don't apologize," she said softly, looking out until she found him in the crowd. "Because even if we can't be together, sometimes it's nice to pretend. To have those little stolen moments to believe we could have had a normal mortal's life. But that's ungrateful, isn't it?" The sincere guilt in her tone made my heart ache. "We're so much better off than many. We're well fed, taken care of, we worry and want for nothing."

       "Except freedom," I interjected, reminding her of my discontent. Hoping I could help them be happy by giving them freedom.

       "Would we be any freer out there?" she replied evenly. "Goddess, mortal, at least as Goddesses we're safe and respected. Our cage is a better price than the one our freedom will cost."

       "That my sister, is something we will never agree on."

       And honestly, we never did.

* * *

 


	10. Longing- The Year I learned its true meaning. 3005 BC

* * *

 

       Several weeks went by since my sister’s departure. Though my people were still enjoying our weekly festivals, I was beginning to become lonely in a new way. Couples stood out from the crowd more than they used to and every so often I would find myself more than a little envious of Bast. I wasn't sure if I was happy she had Jumoke, since he was a source of happiness _and_ pain for her. Happy or not, I wished I had someone like that... funny how emotions can be sometimes.

       As usual I sat atop my alter, surrounded by my pillows and servants. The day was a little slow as far as visitors went. I was considering requesting Shador’s presence so I could 'inquire' as to how his lessons were going. Really, that was just my excuse to see him.

       However, as I debated whether or not to call my guard, _he_ entered my temple. Of course at first I thought I imagined him, but there was no mistaking his golden hair and eyes. At the time, I had never met another being with golden eyes.

       "My lovely goddess," Ramses said as he knelt in front of me. "I've brought an offering."

       Even though I often imagined him as my hero, I had honestly never expected to see him again. I only used him in fantasies because his appearance stood out to me. It wasn't until Nakia cleared her throat that I realized I had been silently staring at him. Regaining my divine composure, I nodded to him.

       "Ramses, you've returned. I trust your travels were well?" I had to say that since that was my domain... but I was also curious about his quest. "Did you find word of your father?"

       His gaze dropped to the floor. For a moment, he seemed disappointed and angry.

       "I tracked him down to a place where he had met an unfortunate end. And that was it. I never met the man," he explained. "But that's not important anymore." Ramses looked up and made me weak at the knees with his smile. "I've come to terms with his passing. On my way home, I thought I'd see you again, Sekmet."

       "A wise decision," I said, probably a little too happily. Maybe it was because I was a young woman, but I liked the idea an attractive man had been thinking about me. Wanting to keep his company for longer this visit, I asked hopefully, "Are you staying for the festival tonight? Once a week I hold a small festival outside the temple for my people. Everyone enjoys them."

       "If it gives me a chance to see you, I'll be here," he replied smoothly. "I've brought gifts, if you'll accept them." Ramses handed the small box to my guards. "You have grown beautiful in the years since I last saw you. Maybe I should've stayed." There was a catch in his voice that rang with guilt.

       Many emotions fought within me. I was angry he had not returned before Qiang had claimed me. Touched because he honestly seemed to have missed me. Confused because he barely knew me, why should he care so much? Reason and my loneliness took the firmest roots before I spoke.

       "You had to find out what you needed. Staying here would have only kept your mind wandering," I reasoned. I paused to looked in the small chest he had brought. There were several necklaces and bracelets. As lovely as they were, I didn't like them as much as his first gift. "These are beautiful. Nothing has been better than the necklace you brought."

       "It was hard to top that," he said with a hint of amusement. "I'm going to have to look a little harder next time, I'm afraid." Ramses shrugged and took on a thoughtful expression. "Had I stayed, I'm sure things would've gone differently. So, what will you do at your festival?"

       Things probably would have gone differently... but would Qiang have still approached me? I didn't like the idea of Qiang hurting Ramses for my sake. Even without Qiang in the picture, I didn't know what Ramses's intentions would have been. I could not live as Bast and Jumoke, of that I was certain.

       "I will do as I usually do. Observe my people for a while, drink, eat, and then walk amongst them before I perform a dance honoring the Gods," I explained. Though I loved how happy the celebrations made my people, I was becoming rather bored just observing.

       "Would it be possible to dance with you?" Ramses asked unabashed.

       Shock kept me frozen while I tried to fathom an answer. I should say no, of course he couldn't. No mortal could dance with a Goddess. My people would certainly rebel against the very notion. A small glance at my offended guards and servants told me exactly how my people would react. Yet, Nakia and my head guard, Nassor didn't seem upset. That alone gave me hope.

       I looked back to Ramses and met his golden gaze... ' _Unique eyes... and the son of a priest...'_

       "It would depend. Your father was a holy man. Are you by chance a holy man as well?"

       "Holy could work if you stretch the definition," he began. "My mother was a priestess as well. And I was a chosen of my goddess. I'm something divine."

       Subtly, Nakia nodded to me. She would arrange everything. My people would believe Ramses was representing his own Gods in the ceremony. His strange eyes would be more than enough to qualify him as divine to my people.

       "Then if you dance with me to honor the gods, it would be fine. Assuming you would allow yourself to be purified and decorated," I told him. A wide grin spread across my lips as I imagined Ramses being painted from head to toe... what did he look like naked?

       “That really doesn't sound pleasant," he said reluctantly. "But, I'll do it. For this... festival you'll have."

       "It's actually very pleasant. You'll be bathed, massaged, and painted from head to toe." Turning to Nakia, I said, "I won't want him to have a wig. His golden hair would please me and the rest of the gods. It shines like the sun." I was a sun goddess, they wouldn't doubt my preference and Ramses didn't seem as if he would enjoy wearing a wig. "Would you like to be purified now?"

       "Now?" he asked a little surprised. "I suppose if the best time to do so would be now. Purify away."

       "Nakia," I only had to say her name and she stood up to lead Ramses away. I knew the painting would take hours and I wanted to see Ramses as soon as I could. Even as I questioned the wisdom of letting him dance with me, my heart raced in anticipation and uncertainty.

\- - - - - - - 

       I stood in my room, running my fingers over the sapphire necklace Ramses had given me. There were few occasions I could wear it since I was only ever dressed in gold, crimson, and white.

       "This seems a little much." Ramses startled me. I assumed Nakia and Nassor had a hand in helping him past my guards. He spoke again, distracting me. "My people were tame compared to yours."

       I turned around in time to catch him motioning to himself. Nakia and the others had taken the liberty of painting his design like a snake, which I assumed was the symbol of his goddess. He wore a golden snake pendant I had never noticed before. Though he wasn't entirely covered in paint, it seemed to be more than he was accustomed to.

       "You think it's much? I've been painted like this every day since I could walk." I couldn't resist chuckling at his expression.

       Ramses smiled for a moment before his expression took on a more serious look. At the time, I couldn't identify his feelings.

       "I want to admit one thing, Sekmet. My travels ended in failure, but I am... grateful to have met you," he confessed, moving closer to me.

       "Oh? And what about me has made you grateful?" I asked him, putting distance back between us. The last time I had a man speak like this, I involuntarily lost my virginity to him. Did either Qiang or Ramses really even know me?

       "I just am. I'm... drawn to you, Sekmet," he began quietly. Once again, he drew closer. "I just... I don't know anyone else that's been through anything similar to me. And then I met you. You also... have this fire inside you that's hard not to try and stay warm with."

       His answer did help to relieve some of my anxiety, but I needed to know more. I just didn't understand what we could have in common.

       "What do you mean been through something like you?" I asked letting my curiosity and uncertainty show through. "You've traveled so far and been through so much."

       "Yes," he agreed. As if sensing my discomfort, he stopped moving towards me while he explained. "But I came from a village where we worship a goddess. My mother is a priestess, descended from a bloodline that is thought to have been descended from the goddess. I was treated the same way you are here."

       Could it have been true? I looked up at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. He knew what it was like. To pretend to be more than what we were. In that moment, I believed he understood what it was like to be me, even if he didn't know me well yet.

       "How did you leave?" I asked, letting my guard drop a little. I stepped closer to him, but given the way we were both only half dressed... I started to crave his touch again. I wanted to kiss him, but there were many reasons I shouldn’t.

       "I admit, I had more freedom than you," he said. "I wanted to be part of the village's warriors. As a man, I couldn't have become a priestess. I gave them a solution as to what to do with my heritage. Become the chosen that would lead the men into battle. But, when I completed my training..." Ramses paused, his gaze troubled. When he continued, I could tell he wasn't ready to tell me everything. But I was willing to listen to what he would say.

       "I couldn't stay. I ran away from it all," he continued his confession. "And seeing you more than makes up for it." Ramses took another step forward, he lifted his hand to cup my cheek, but stopped. "I traveled far and wide now... none I have met come close to you."

       "No one burns as brightly as the Goddess of Fire," I said, my heart racing as I tried to catch my breath. Even if I dare to allow myself to believe he could grow to love me, I knew I didn't have the freedom to let him. I had already sold myself, but I couldn't tell him that.

       "Ramses... I am bound here. Even if I try to leave the guards would track me down. The Goddess Sekmet is too important to our people. The only way I will escape this place... is through death. It's not...terrible here. I just..." I stopped and sighed then I gave him the best smile I could muster while giving him the half-truths I needed him to accept. "I envy your freedom to run away, but what did it do to your people?"

       He looked down for a moment, the shame clearly there. "I don't even know," he said. "And I'm not... asking the same of you. I want to share my reasons with you." He looked at me, staring into my eyes before he leaned in and kissed me. At first our kiss was sweet and chaste, but as his hands moved from cupping my face to holding my arms, he deepened it, making my head spin faster than when we first met. When he broke it off, he spoke in a slightly raspy voice, "Agape is a word used by my people for... certain feelings. It's also a name. I... might feel it towards you."

       "Agape?" I tested the strange word, not entirely certain as to its meaning, but I thought I understood it well enough. "If you want to share your reasons, I'm willing to listen," I offered, sitting down on a small bench. My knees were so weak I was afraid I'd fall over. "I'm not sure how to describe any of what I'm feeling for you."

       "There's not much more," he said as he sat down beside me. "I don't even know for sure myself. Its... confusing, to say the least. I just feel as if I can be myself with you."

       "Would it be wrong if I said I think the same? Who are you with others? I don't even know who I am sometimes," I admitted to him a secret I had never even shared with Bast or Shador.

       "I'm... another person," he said with a chuckle. "It's hard to say really. I should go, though. The festival and all that, right?" Even though he couldn't explain, I understood.

       "Yes, I believe I need some time to calm," I teased him.

       "I... really like you Sekmet," he spoke in a low voice. "I want to do things with you. Experience so much. Know the woman you are..." He looked away from me. "Just... speaking words here."

       Oh sure, he was just speaking words and I was just going to die from everything he made me feel. _If_ I thought I could risk a lover, I would want Ramses. Not only was I physically attracted to him, but we understood each other. And in time I knew we could really get to know one another. But fate is a bitch and Ramses had come too late.

       "If only we could. But we can't for several reasons... " I sighed deeply. No matter what I couldn't tell him the biggest reason of all. "I would still like to enjoy your company sometimes."

       "I know we can't," he said softly. "I wish we could though." He turned to me and ran the back of his finger against my cheek. "Permit me one thing then," he said. "Let me savor these lips once more," he requested.

       Knowing I shouldn't, I closed my eyes and leaned towards him. That time the kiss was softer and yet deeper. I felt myself lost in our stolen moment. When our kiss ended, we stared into each other's eyes, both longing for something more, something we couldn't have.

       "I need... repainted." I cleared my throat and stood up to step away from him. "You should go, before the guards return." Where in the name of Anubis were they?

       "If I had my way, I wouldn't leave your side." He said, walking towards the exit. "I wish to take you from here. One doesn't keep a bird in a cage."

       "Wishes and dreams," I whispered as he left my room. But I had already sealed my fate. As much as I hated it, I belonged to another man. Desperately I wanted to be with Ramses instead.

       Nakia entered my room and shook her head in disproval. I tried to look as innocent as possible while I held my arms up for her to detach the sheer material from my golden collar. Without a word, she washed and repainted me, I assume to keep my secret. How I miss that woman...

\- - - - - - -  

       "I lament this is the closest I'll ever get to you," Ramses said as he sat beside me during the festival.

       "It's closer than most men ever get," I reassured him. We had already performed the ritual and were relaxing while the crowds rejoiced below us. I always wondered if he had been pouting because we didn't touch at all during the dance.

       "I've decided on something. You mentioned my home and... I should see how they're doing," he said as he took a drink from a wineskin

       "So you're traveling back home." I admit I was very disappointed when I heard his news. "When do you leave?"

       "I don't know yet," he said. "But I'll come back. I'll come back... and then..." He reached over and took my hand. "Come with me," he whispered.

       Reluctantly and quickly I pulled my hand away from him. As much as I allowed myself to _be_ myself with him in private, I was still a pure goddess in public.

       "I can't."

       "Can't? Why, can't we try?" he almost pleaded with me.

       "How? How would we? They wouldn't accept me leaving unless they found my body. Even if we made it out, what would it do to my people?" I tried to reason with him.

       Ramses sighed before he replied, "It's something you have to learn to live with. Freedom isn't cheap."

       That was rich. _He_ was telling _me_ freedom wasn't cheap. I sold myself for a freedom I wasn't going to receive for a very long time. I more than understood the concept.

       "I know, Ramses." Trying to draw his attention back to my other point, I whispered, "You still haven't answered how."

       "I would find a way." The determination in his voice touched me. "Somehow."

       "I'll think about it. But that's all I can promise," I said softly, wondering if I could get out of my agreement with Qiang.

       He sighed again. "I guess that's all I can hope for," he said a little more cheerfully. "Just be here."

       "It's not like I'm going anywhere else," I said with a small smile. I was grateful the crowd's noise was drowning out most of our conversation.

       Bold as ever, he leaned in close to my ear. "You are a goddess I can worship." Though his voice made me tingle, I didn't like what he said.

       "I'd rather be your equal," I replied.

       "Well, I could be a god if you need me to," he offered with a playful smile.

       I couldn't help but laugh, drawing a little attention. "I'll keep that in mind."

       When my guards escorted me back to my room, Ramses promised he would stop by my temple before he left on his travels. He did, but we never said good-bye. I gave him my blessings and he said, "Till we see each other again, goddess."

       He stole a piece of my heart that day. If only... I could have gone with him then.

* * *

 


	11. Control - The Year I lost mine 3005BC

* * *

 

       I dripped the scented water over my body, enjoying the feeling. Nakai had suggested I be without any of my servants for a little while. My hormones were running wild. I couldn't shake the dream from the night before. Ramses had snuck into my room-- my body felt hot just thinking about him again. I trailed my hand over my stomach to my breasts like I had imagined him doing in my dream. A shiver ran down my spine... which made me want to experiment.

       Letting my mind wander, I slid my other hand between my legs to the sensitive part of my vagina. I gasped at the sudden shot of pleasure. Moaning, I continued to rub myself softly, imaging Ramses in my bath with me. Hearing his voice whisper against my ear, I could almost feel his breath on my neck.

       With my free hand, I cupped my breasts, running my fingers over the nipple. My heart raced, my body felt on fire. Closing my eyes, I saw his face, his golden eyes... his lips against mine... I went over the edge, panting for breath once my body had settled back down.

 _'Ramses,'_ I whispered his name in my mind, afraid to say it out loud. How had he cast such a strong spell over me? My body revolted against the idea of Qiang touching it, but Ramses... it craved him. _I_ craved him.

       Once again, I leaned back and dripped water over me with a rag. I was content, though not fully satisfied. Somehow, I doubted anything couldn't fully satisfy me short of Ramses.

       "Well, well, thinking of me?" Qiang's voice was more threatening than curious. "What has my little goddess been up to while I was away?"

       "Qi-Sire," I quickly corrected myself. My heart began to pound as I turned to face him. Though he was smiling, there was a deadly glint in his eyes. "Who else would I have been thinking of?" I hoped I was hiding the panic I felt from my voice.

       "Sekmet, I don't like being lied to," he warned, walking towards me. "Who is he?"

       I wanted to yell he was no one. But then Qiang would know what he meant to me. So, I did the next best thing.

       "He's a foreigner I saw at a festival recently," I told half-truths. "I found him physically appealing. It's been so long since you've visited I was afraid I would not remember you well enough." And maybe a lie or two.

       "Why must you do this?" he asked in a voice that should've resembled despair. Qiang stood before me, he reached down and grabbed my hair, yanking me up. I did my best not to cry out, but it hurt like a bitch. His voice was much deadlier when he spoke, his eyes turned a deep shade of crimson. "You are _mine,_ Sekmet. I will know every time you think of another man. _Every time_ one means something to you. And I _will kill_ them." He let his fangs elongate, at the time I found him terrifying.

       "Sire, I will never think of him again," I promised. "He has already left Kemet. I don't even know where he went." That was kind of true. But I was too terrified to worry about if I was lying or not. "I am yours and yours alone."       

       "That's right," he said forcefully, throwing me to the ground. I held in the cry, though my knees and elbows were scratched and bleeding. "Now look what you've done. You've hurt yourself," he accused. "If only you hadn't strayed, I wouldn't need to remind you of your place."

       I wanted to kill him. But I knew I couldn't. I was so powerless against him, knowing that hurt more than the abuse he dished out.

       "Forgive me, sire," I asked, faking sincerity as best I could. "I will never stray again."

       "That's better," he cooed, walking over to me. "An injured goddess would disillusion her people, wouldn't she?" Taking my hand, he kissed the back of it, then he ran his hand down my arm to where my elbows were bleeding. The wound started to burn, but once that subsided there was no blood, no scratch.

       "There," he whispered. "That wasn't so bad. Now, why don't we heal the rest of you?"

       "Goddess, are you--" Nassor's voice stopped as Qiang looked over at him. I knew Qiang had frozen him with his powers, I just didn't yet know how.

       For a moment, I feared for Nassor's life. I was certain Qiang had mistaken him for my 'lover'. But after he looked back to me, Qiang smiled. I didn't like that smile.

       "Sekmet, my dear, have you ever considered taking more than one partner?" he asked, confusing me.

       "But, you just said--"

       "That you are mine. That doesn't mean we can't play around together a little," he said in what might have been a seductive voice if I didn't hate him so.

       "I would not want an unwilling partner," I whispered back, unwilling to violate Nassor's free will.

       "Who would be unwilling to please their goddess?" Qiang asked as if the answer was obvious.

       "Do... you enjoy men as well?" I asked uncertainly. I wasn't sure if this was a trap or not, but I was going to try my best not to be caught in it.

       "Sometimes, though not right now," he confessed. "I am too upset by this other foreigner who has your attention. Now, another woman would please me greatly."

       And it was ever my job to please him.

       "Do you have one in mind?" I asked, trying to seem interested in the idea. I really just wanted to go back to my solo bath where I could imagine Ramses naked and in the many positions I'd rather share with him... which I couldn't do anymore thanks to Mr. Killjoy.

       "I did see this lovely pleasure slave on the way here," he commented, running another hand down my other arm to heal me.

       "Did you?" I tried to distract myself from his touch. I didn't want to violate the slave girl's free will any more than I did Nassor, but she was a pleasure slave. I would probably give her more free will than other masters. "How would we purchase her?"

       "Why don't you let me worry about that, my sweet," he cooed again, leaning down to kiss my neck.

       As much as the details of that night might entertain some, I choose to not remember them well. Nassor was controlled by Qiang to fetch the girl and then to guard the door so we would not be disturbed. Admittedly I did like her more than Qiang... but it didn't take much for me to like anyone more than him.

       The fear he instilled in me that night wasn't for my life. He wanted me, that I trusted beyond a doubt... but I couldn't let him hurt Ramses. I cared too much... maybe I shouldn't have cared at all.

* * *

 


	12. Kesi - The Year I learned to use my weapons 3004 BC

* * *

 

       Qiang was away once again. He hated remaining anywhere for too long because hunters were always after him. I knew he would return though I never knew when, but he said my life force and body were more appealing to him than any of his other Boboci.

       I lay in my bed, thinking on what I would become. A Blestemat. The word itself meant, 'damned' in the language of Qiang's sire. Blestemats were immortal beings who fed off the life force of others, mostly humans. They didn't age, could only be killed a few ways, and were immune to almost everything. Yet, they did not produce a life force on their own, which is why they fed on humans. As a Boboci, I would be his fledgling, a follower of sorts.

       What would happen to my soul? Did I even believe I had a soul? Though I tried to sit up, an arm pulled me back down. I smiled at the sleeping form beside me.

       As much as I hated Qiang, I must admit without him, my life would have been very different. For better or worse I never dwell on, but because of him I had Kesi. And he had cast some mental magic so that no one thought it was odd for her to serve as my 'personal' servant. I guess since she was female, no one really made any assumptions.

       Lying beside me, her raven hair was cut short, but it accented her facial structure. When awake her eyes were a deep brown and full of life. Kesi was my new companion, my confidante of sorts. We weren't _lovers_ because we were never in love, but during Qiang's last visit I discovered he only got jealous over men. And Kesi had been my gift. A clingy gift.

       "Kesi, I have to get up now," I said softly, pushing her away from me.

       "Sorry," she said, yawning. Kesi stretched her arms over her head and though I wasn't really attracted to women, I still admired the way her breasts were pushed forward by the action.

       "You dreamed of him again," she informed me nonchalantly. "You need to stop saying his name in your sleep. Qiang would've been pissed."

       "In the name of Anubis," I cursed, hiding my face in my palm. "Did I really?"

       "He must be something," she taunted, leaning against me. "Oh, Ramses," she said breathily with her lips beside my ears. "Harder, harder." Kesi wrapped her arms around me. In a deeper voice she said, "Yes, Goddess. Anything for you."

       I shoved her away and glared at her.

       "Ha, ha," I grumbled, but I couldn't prevent the smile from forming. Kesi rolled off the bed, laughing.

       "I'm sorry, Goddess. You know you can't be with him," Kesi started speaking in a much softer tone. "We're the same now. I am to please you, and you are to please Qiang."

       "Don't compare me to him, Kesi," I snapped. "Do I not treat you well?"

       "Yes, forgive me," she said with a perfectly practiced bow. "Would it make you feel better if I compared you to me, instead? That's what I was doing."

       "I... know," I admitted with a sigh. "I would much rather be a Kesi than a Qiang."

       "Oh, really?" she asked, sauntering over to me. I admired the way Kesi took control of her femininity, the way she strode about the room, using her body to say, 'I'm sexy and you all damn well know it.' "I can teach my Goddess to, if she wishes to learn."

       "What do you mean?" I asked her suspiciously.

       "Goddess, I see you watching me and I know it's not the same as when others watch me," she chided. "Yes, I satisfy you as well as I can, but we both know you're not _really_ attracted to me."

       That was one reason I was so fond of my Kesi. She never mistook lust for love or interest for lust.

       "Then how do I watch you?" I asked, intrigued by where she her explanation was going.

       "You watch me like a girl wishing to be a woman," she said unabashed.

       "You dare call me a girl?" I demanded, but we both knew I wasn't serious.

       "Never, Goddess. You are very much a woman," she said, placing her hands on my breasts. "However, you've never been allowed to present yourself as one. Please, allow me the honor of teaching my goddess to make men and women everywhere keep their eyes glued to your every step. It's a kind of control you'll have over men they'll never admit to, but always crave."

       What she proposed intrigued me more than I'd ever admit. Truthfully, I had wanted to use sex to control Qiang, but... I failed at it. In all the times he had visited, he'd always taken the reigns because I didn't have a clue what I was doing. Even in my own fantasies I didn't know how _I_ could take control.

       However, Kesi had been raised as a pleasure slave. She had been taught since she could walk how to be a woman. How to seduce and please men, how to be beautiful and the envy of women. If she wasn't, she had no worth. And if she had no worth, she would have been tossed out on the streets with no protection.

       But she was very good at her job and she held a confidence unlike that of any free woman I had ever met. If I could get her kind of power, maybe my servitude to Qiang wouldn't be as horrific.

       "Alright, Kesi. Teach me if you believe you can," I challenged her.

       Kesi laughed and took my hands to pull me up.

       "I must show you how to walk the walk." Kesi placed her hands on my hips and pulled them against hers.  She instructed, "You dance for the gods and when you do you are graceful. Think of the cat goddess and move as she would."

       As she spoke, she moved her hips from side to side and I moved mine with hers. Then she walked backwards, pulling me with her, never parting our hips. It was both educational and a little erotic.

       "Breathe, goddess. Let the walk come naturally," she said slowly. "If it's forced it will look awkward and no one will believe it. I'm not teaching you something new, I'm showing you something your body knows how to do."

        I nodded and did as she instructed. I let my body follow her pace until I found a rhythm of my own.

       Every morning for the next few months we would practice. I practiced sauntering until it was my natural walk. My facial expressions, mannerisms, I was changing how I did everything, and yet I didn't _just_ mimic Kesi. No, she taught me to make it my own. My saunter was a more natural speed, not slow like hers. My seductive smile also held a hint of amusement. According to Kesi she didn't teach me so much as helped me turn into who I was meant to be.

       Maybe that was true. But Kesi did teach me how to take control in bed... and I found I liked it. Top was where I wanted to be, it was where I belonged. And it seemed Kesi enjoyed being below me in bed.

       Though we didn't make each other hot and bothered, we were more than able to appease each other when we felt like it. But we knew it was only sex, nothing more, nothing less.

       I enjoyed her companionship and my physical time with Kesi... but she wasn't Ramses. We got along and she treated me as her equal, but only because we were both reduced to using our bodies to please someone else. She never really tried to understand my hardships as 'Sekmet, Goddess of Kemet.' At times, I feel she even wished she had my place.

       Only my Ramses knew what it was like to be trapped as divine and to desire freedom. I longed for him, wished he could somehow save me from Qiang. But I had given up on wishing. And I wouldn't let Ramses get hurt because of me. I would move on and I would force him to forget me.

       The next time I saw him... would be the last. I would make sure of it.

* * *

 


	13. Ramses - The Year I thought I said good-bye 3003 BC

* * *

 

       I sat on my throne, speaking with Shador. He had come to visit me. Well, it was more like he had come to boast. Apparently, the high priest of Anubis praised him for a job well done during an important ceremony a few days earlier. I was very proud of him and listened with a smile.

       Kesi was seated at my feet to my left with her eyes cast down. I hated how her demeanor changed whenever we were outside of my room. I liked the confident, sexy Kesi. Though I understood the need for the docile behavior, I didn't have to like it. When outside my room, she was no more than a handmaiden.

       My guards informed me of an incoming visitor, which was Shador and my cue to get into our places. He stepped back, but remained at my right-hand side.

       When my golden-haired visitor entered, my body froze.

       "Hello, Goddess," he said as cheerfully as ever. "It's been a while."

       "It has been a while," I replied with as cold a tone I could. It was hard to deadpan my expression to Ramses, but I succeeded. "Your trip home was safe, I trust?"

       Knowing what I would do, what I _had_ to do hurt. The pain wiped away any joy I might have had seeing him there, smiling at me.

       "Who is this little one?" Ramses asked as he looked to my brother. Ramses even waved at Shador. Of course he'd have to notice Shador and ask about him. Why did he have to be thoughtful instead of an ass?

       "My trip home went well," he answered my question. "My village was doing well. There had been a few... monster attacks, but nothing my people couldn't handle."

       "His name is Shador. He is my younger brother," I answered Ramses evenly. It was very difficult for me not to inquire about the monsters or anything personal. But I couldn't. If I did, he wouldn't believe my mask. "It's good to hear your people handled the monsters. We don't have many monsters around here."

       "Goddess," Shador interrupted. He glanced around to the servants before addressing me again. "Should we leave?"

       "No, Shador," I said, uncertain as to _why_ my brother would want me to speak with Ramses alone. "I have no need to speak with this man in private. Is there anything else, Ramses?" I spoke as dismissively as I could.

       "Well, no, there's not anything else," Ramses answered, the disappointment in his tone pricking my heart. "I usually come to speak to you. You're the only reason I travel so far." His genuine tone and the look in his eyes made my heart clutch. I felt sick to my stomach knowing I'd have to hurt him.

       Ramses took a deep breath and tried again. "I brought gifts. Nothing for your brother though," he said apologetically. Ramses took a few moments to think before he said, "at his age, my people would give him a personal weapon and go out to test it. Usually a bow. Can he have one?"

       "My brother is not a warrior," I snapped defensively. At least that was genuine, I honestly didn't want my brother to be a warrior. Although the truth was, my people loved bows. It was our preferred weaponry and I had requested Nassor teach Shador to protect himself, but that was different. "No, he can't have a bow."

       I desperately wanted to be mean, to drive Ramses away, but the bastard was making it so difficult.

       "Nakia, I think the goddess needs a few moments," Shador interrupted again. I didn't know when he suddenly grew balls enough to order my servants around, but they all obeyed. Even Nassor lead my guards away, though I knew he would be standing right outside the doors. I didn’t want to undermine my brother, so I didn’t stop them.

       "Did... I do something to offend you or your people, Sekmet?" Ramses asked once we were alone. "You know I only ever have good intentions."

       "You haven't done anything wrong," I admitted to him. I had to push him away, but I needed him to blame _me_. I stood from my seat and walked away from him. "I just... I can't leave. You should forget me and move on."

       "Forget you?" His tone was thick with disbelief. "Forget you? That's not easy." It was easy for me to tell he was trying to stay calm. There was a hint of panic when he next spoke. "I know you can't leave. I'm not asking you to come with me. But I wanted to see you again."

       "Ramses, I don't feel for you the way you do for me," I lied. Well, it wasn’t a total lie. Whatever we felt for each other, our feelings were different. He was a fantasy I could never have.

       It was difficult to keep my voice cold and even, but for his safety I forced myself to keep going. "I don't want to mislead you. If you continue to visit as you do, all you'll end up doing is disappointing yourself." Turning around, I forced myself to meet his gaze. Whatever he was feeling, I had to see it.

       "Excuse me?" he asked, a little stunned. "What about...? Really? Just..." He stared at me, searching for answers. Silence stood between us as he let everything sink in. Finally, in a burst of anger, he kicked a basket over, spilling jewelry everywhere. "Then, so be it... goddess." He turned and left me in my throne room alone, my heart feeling as if it were about to burst apart.

       Without waiting for my guards, I went to my private room. I crashed into my large pillows and buried my face in them. However, I didn't let my tears fall. I refused.

       "Goddess," Kesi's voice came from the direction of my doorway. "Should I come in?"

       "No. I don't want any company right now," I said, trying not to take out my anger on her. How could I have hurt Ramses? I should have never given him hope, I should have declined his request to join me in the ceremonial dance.

       "If you're sure, Goddess," Kesi replied hesitantly. I heard her footsteps leaving.

       No, I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure of anything. I was angry and hurting, I wanted Nassor to run out and bring Ramses back. I wanted to confess to Ramses about Qiang and for Ramses to save me from my damnation. But none of that was going to happen and I had to accept that. I had to let the fantasy go to save the man. I wasn’t willing to have innocent blood on my hands.

       "Sister?" Shador's voice was quiet, but close.

       I looked up to see him walking towards me.

       "Shador, I said I wanted to be alone," I shot at him. He was twelve years old, and I found his increasing rebelliousness to be very annoying.

       "I know what you said," he replied calmly. Once he reached me, Shador wrapped his arms around me. He wasn't full grown yet, but he still pulled me to him and held me against his heart.

       "Shador--"

       "Shhh," he silenced me. Shador held me tightly and started to stroke my hair.

       For the first time in my life, I felt like it was okay to be vulnerable. And I cried. I cried for losing Ramses, for hurting him, for losing my fantasy of escape. I cried for being forced to submit to Qiang, for not knowing what I would have to continue to give up to make him happy. Most of all, I cried because I needed to.

       When I was done, Shador still held me until I gently pushed away from him.

       "You're not supposed to defy me," I said softly. "You could get in trouble."

       "And you're not supposed to hurt yourself," he replied back, just as softly. "Sister, when the world is too heavy, I can hold it up for a little while."

       "Thank you, Shador." I kissed my brother on the cheek. "I'll remember your offer."

       "You'll see him again, you know," Shador said with a soft smile. "He messed up today, but he'll never be fooled by your mask again."

       "For his sake, Shador... I hope you're wrong."

* * *

 


	14. Blestemat - The Year I became one. 3000BC

* * *

 

       I gave up the fantasy of being saved three years before my turning. In that time, I distracted myself with various activities. My people _loved_ me. To them I was truly a benevolent goddess who was interested in their well-being. However, that wasn't entirely true.

       I realized if I was to become immortal, I wanted to be able to return to Kemet whenever it suited me. So, for three years, I established my hold by directly helping the poor, tending to the ailing and giving them a place to recover in my temple, and being thoughtful, but firm in all my decisions.

       Always by my side was Shador and in my bed was Kesi. Bast visited three times a year, but I wanted to keep her away from Qiang, so she always sent Jumoke to see if it was safe. I couldn't disapprove of her and Jumoke's relationship. He was a good man... though I admit sometimes the way he was with Bast reminded me of Ramses. I tried to never dwell on that. I would never have a man as an equal, whether I wanted one to be or not.

       My twenty-fifth birthday was closing in. I was equally excited and terrified knowing what awaited me. Nakia had been making arrangements for a _special_ festival. Kesi was lying near the foot of my bed, knowing once night fell Qiang would arrive. He didn't like for her to be in _his_ spot on the bed.

       Shador entered my room without asking, something he had gotten into the habit of doing. At fifteen, my brother was a little taller than me and considered a man by our culture's standards. As he was the brother of two goddesses, despite being proclaimed as no more than a priest, most of our people treated him like a god. While he respected and loved Bast and I... he didn't care much for others.

       "Kesi, I need to speak with my sister," he spoke in a tone that said he expected to be obeyed. Shador had come far from the shy little boy of his youth.

       "I only obey, Sekmet and Sire Qui--"

       "Do not dare give _him_ more respect than you give Sekmet in my presence," he threatened and narrowed his gaze.

       "Kesi," I spoke up to avoid a fight between the two. There were still some ground rules I planned on setting. "Shador is my brother. If he wants to speak to me alone, then you leave. And Shador, I will choose who is allowed to refer to me without titles."

       "Yes, Sekmet," Kesi replied in her 'servant' tone. I disliked whenever she became docile. Whenever we were in front of others, Kesi lost her confidence and would only ever look down at the floor. Part of her training as a slave. Kesi left the room, she and Shador exchanged irritated expressions with each other.

       "Why do you hate, Kesi?" I asked him once we were alone.

       "He will use her to hurt you," Shador said simply. "And I don't like the way she holds you on her level."

       "What do you mean?" I asked him as I got comfortable on my bed. "It's rather judgmental of you to think me better than her."

       "Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But you are my sister and she is not. Even by _his_ standards you are her master," he explained as he made his way over to me. He sat on the edge of my bed. "If you become too fond of her, he will kill her. We both know that."

       "I don't love her," I said with a sigh. It was something I had considered, but I just couldn't love her. "He plans to make her my source of food for a while."

       "Why won't you change me tomorrow?" he demanded angrily. Ah, the real source of his bad mood surfaced.

       "Because you're too young, Shador," I repeated the response I had given him for months. "Your body is not done growing. I will change you when you are ready." That was only half of the reason.

       "It's because you're afraid I'll try to kill him, isn't it?" Shador narrowed his eyes in accusation.

       "Would you?" I asked him quietly. When he looked away, I reached out to cup his cheek. "Shador, I can't lose you or Bast. I will do whatever I have to in order to keep you safe."

       "You do too much..." he said softly. With a sigh, he looked up at me. "You're taking me with you, right?"

       "Yes," I reassured him. "Now, go. Qiang will be here soon. I need to be alone."

       He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a tight hug.

       "If you die, I _will kill him_ ," Shador warned me before he let go and left.

       I appreciated his vow, but it made me worry all the more. I was further resolved to protect my siblings from Qiang and the rest of the world.

 

       A few hours later, I felt the familiar pull of my sire. Cold fingers wrapped around my shoulders as his breath tickled my neck.

       "Hello, Sekmet. Are you ready to be reborn?" Qiang whispered, his lips brushed against my neck.

       "Sire, the process still seems hazy to me," I said quietly, placing my hand over his. "Correct me if I misunderstand any of this. You will drain my life energy until it is almost depleted and then you shall share yours with mine?"

       "Yes, my dear," he cooed, caressing my cheek. "In doing so your energy will be mixed with mine and you will gain my powers and my weaknesses. We will be bound for all eternity. I will always be able to find you or to read your thoughts."

       That part wasn't much different from our relationship at the time.

       "I would need to drain others of their life energy to survive as well?" I asked, I needed details clarified. "How much will I need?"

       "You'll know," he explained as he began to kiss along my neck. I had long ago become numb to his touch. "The amount varies. Sometimes you'll need a little and other times you will need to drain a human completely. I will teach you. Are you ready to become a Blestemat?" His voice was growing impatient.

       "Yes, Sire. I am ready," I whispered through my fear.

       His fangs pierced my flesh as the all too familiar feeling of my life flooding from me consumed my senses. There was no euphoria that time, only coldness as my life drained away. I grew weak, cold, terrified, but there was no turning back. My vision faded as my heart slowed... until... there was nothing.

       Sometime after the nothing, there was pain. My veins felt on fire, every inch of my body craved something, a deep hunger I needed to sate. A wrist was held in front of my lips. Without hesitation, I accepted and bit into the vein.

       When I drank, I could feel the pain subsiding. My blood felt cooled, the hunger disappeared. Looking up into Qiang's eyes, I realized everything looked different. I also realized I had the taste of blood on my tongue. He had never mentioned blood...

       "Why..." I coughed, then understood I hadn't been breathing. Focusing on the act of breathing was frustrating. It was a while before I could talk again.

       "You're too young and inexperienced to take life force without drinking blood," he explained as he stroked my hair. "Don't worry, eventually you will learn. Until then, remember to clean up after yourself. Tomorrow, I will guide you through turning your sister. If you would still wish to turn her."

       I nodded my head in response, but I was barely listening to him. The world around me felt... _different_. Sounds were clearer. If I focused I could hear the breathing and the heart beats of everyone in the temple. I stood up and almost tumbled over, but I caught myself.

       "Careful, you are stronger than you used to be. It may take a while to adjust," he warned me. I had a feeling I would be discovering most of my powers alone.

       "It's nearly dawn, we should sleep. You instructed your servants not to disturb you tomorrow," he spoke it as a command, not a question.

       "Shador is in charge of my temple for the day?" I reassured him. Then I very carefully laid beside him in bed. It was getting harder to think as voices began to invade my mind. I soon realized Qiang had been shielding my mind from the outside world, but he had already fallen asleep. Thankfully, since I was a fledgling the second the sun began to rise I went into a dead slumber.

       My world and I were forever changed.

* * *

 


	15. Power - The Year I demonstrated mine. 3000 BC

* * *

 

       When I awoke, I didn't yawn or stretch. I didn't feel as if I needed to. It was...different. As I opened my eyes, I expected to see darkness and the dim light of candles. What I saw, however, was clearly. I saw  _everything_  clearly. There were a few shadows, but they were very faint.

       Even though I  _saw_  everything, it took me a while to take all of it in. The clarity hurt my eyes more than anything. I heard the steady beat of a heart to my left before I realized there was someone sitting beside me.

       Slowly, I focused on her. It was Kesi, but the way she looked was different. More accurately, the way I saw her was different. She looked  _warm_ , like there was a faint light around her. It was more obvious to me now that her body moved with her breathing. I never realized before people breathed with their whole torso.

       Kesi turned slowly and met my gaze. There was something in her eyes I had never seen before... instinctively, I knew it was fear. Though her breathing remained steady, she was trembling a bit. Was she afraid because I would feed from her? Or had she always hidden that fear in her gaze?

       Though I waited for her to speak, she remained quiet. Behind me I felt Qiang moving. His presence was cold, not warm like Kesi’s. I pondered on reasons for the difference, but noticed Kesi seemed to calm a bit when she broke our gaze and met Qiang’s. Why was she more afraid of me than she was of him?

       “Sekmet, I see you are awake. You’ll be a strong one,” he mused, stroking my hair. “I’ve never had a fledgling wake up so quickly. It’s only been a day.”

       “H-ho—“ I coughed, there was no air in my lungs. Taking a deep breath, I tried again. “How long do they usually sleep?”

       “A week or more,” he answered, still stroking my hair. “I am very glad I turned you.”

       I didn’t respond to him, instead I looked at Kesi. There was no denying I was hungry and that glow around her somehow looked like the most appetizing thing I would ever eat.

       “Ah yes, it’s time to show you how to feed.” He chuckled. Qiang motioned for Kesi to sit in his lap.

       “Sekmet,” she whispered, but said no more.       

       Qiang motioned for me to come closer to him, but I didn’t really need his instruction. I leaned forward and reached out with—power would be the only word to describe it. I wanted to sooth her, to ease her worries and I slowly saw her relax. After sitting up, I gently pulled her into my lap.

       Kesi showed no signs of resistance. Instead, she sighed as my power caressed her. I let my fangs elongate and quickly pierced her throat. I expected the blood. I even anticipated the feeling of her life force flowing into me. Though the energy warmed me and enveloped my being, it was less overwhelming than Qiang’s had been.

       What I hadn’t expected was the onslaught of memories and thoughts from Kesi. I had known about her training as a sex slave. She had once told me her virginity had been sold to a prince, which from her memories was the truth. I knew that not all of the men who had purchased her services had treated her well.

       What didn't know, was how she really felt about me. Qiang had promised to protect her from me, but Kesi had never believed I was mortal. All the years she had remained by my side were because she had been afraid I'd kill her if she ever tried to leave. Her thoughts swam through my mind, overshadowing my own.

 _'I don't want to be her blood whore. I've given my body, I taught her, isn't that enough?'_  Kesi's voice was desperate and angry in my mind.  _'When do I get to be free? Free from these_   _monsters.'_

       I stopped feeding. She thought I was a monster... even before I had been turned... she... she always thought I was a monster.

       Angry, I released her and stood up. Though I was hungry and still lightheaded, I stood straight and proud.

       "Sire, I'm setting Kesi free so long as you give permission," I said as neutrally as I could.

       "Are you certain?" He inquired, watching me with a smile.

       Kesi watched me suspiciously. She was tense, as if she was waiting for me to strike her. Had I really been so unobservant as a mortal?

       "Yes. We will find another to sustain me," I assured him.

       "Very well," Qiang pulled her up by the arm. "Come whore, I will release you at the temple entrance."

       I listened as her heart beat increased. Her thoughts were screaming in my mind. She was terrified of being alone on the streets.

 _She should've considered that_  before  _she called me a monster,'_  I thought to myself. _‘She can have the freedom she craves.’_

       "Nassor," I called.

       "Goddess," he replied, stepping into my room. He was warmly lit as well. I began to suspect mortals had a warm glow. Nassor looked at me cautiously. I could sense his unease, but it was different from Kesi's. "Are you okay, goddess? You seem... different."

       "I'm glad you've noticed," I replied with a smile. Sauntering over to him, I ran my hand over his shoulders. "You see, all these years I've been living in a mortal girl's body. However, I have finally been awakened as a goddess. I require a new form of nourishment. I need you to find a volunteer to supply it."

       "What kind of nourishment?" he asked, trying to hide his shiver from me. I smiled, knowing I was teasing him a bit. But, I knew Nassor was off limits. He had serve me loyally for years and I would not take advantage of him.

       "Blood. Straight from someone's throat," I said casually. I stepped away from him and started walking towards my greeting room.

       "Goddess?" he asked uncertainly, following me. "Where are you going?"

       "To my throne. I will feed there." I kept my tone as casual as possible. "Is there a problem?"

       "No, you're just... not prepared," he said cautiously.

       It was true. I wasn't bathed, painted, or really dressed. My hair was down and all I wore was a sheer robe over a very small skirt. But it wasn't really any more revealing than most of my day wardrobe.

       "Send for Nakia to apply my face make-up, but I won't be painted tonight," I instructed. "From now on, I will see my followers when there is no sun. Until I ascend to be with the gods again, Ra wishes me to rest when he sees the land and to watch over it when he sleeps."

       Nassor nodded his head, though he seemed confused. "If it is the wish of my goddess."

       "It is."

       Once in my greeting room, I sat on my throne. My guards and servants quickly took their places. Without Qiang nearby to shield my mind, I could hear their thoughts like whispers. None of them really believed what I had told Nassor. I would need to prove myself.

 _Sire,'_  I mentally called to him.  _'How do I show my power?'_

 _Will it and it shall happen,'_  he replied, without actually answering me.

       Rolling his words over in my mind, I decided to try something.

       Closing my eyes, I called on my powers. It took some time, but I imagined my body paint already in place and for my robe to turn into my gown. When I heard gasps, I opened my eyes and glanced down. Though I could feel my robe still in place it  _looked_  like I wore different garments.

       Nakia stepped in front of me, but looked confused and unsure of what to do.

       "I have decided to use my powers to perform certain tasks," I informed her. "I felt this was much easier. You'll have more free time now. No need to babysit me every day."

       "It isn't an inconvenience to serve you," she said sincerely. "It's an honor. If you need blood as Nassor said, I will gladly give it."

       I searched her whispered thoughts for any deceit, but found none. She was truly sincere in her desire to serve me. And she did believe in my new divinity.

       Before I answered her, I felt a strange presence. One that was both warm and cold. I looked towards a side entrance to my greeting room. Shador stood, watching me. I couldn't hear his thoughts as I did the others. Not at first... but then...

 _Feed from her, sister. It's okay. You have power now._ ' Shador's voice was in my head. He smiled at me.

       He was right. I had power. And I planned to let everyone know I did.

       Motioning for Nakia to step forward, I gently tipped her head back. Elongating my fangs, I sent out my powers to sooth her and make the feeding pleasant. I heard gasps of shock and disbelief from all around. I sunk my teeth into her neck and relished the fear, the reverence I felt all around me.

       In their hearts, I was truly the Goddess Sekmet.

* * *

 


	16. 016 Goodbye - The day Sekmet died. 3000BC

* * *

 

       Thanks to Qiang's instruction, Bast's transformation went well.  Even though it took her an extra day to wake up, she seemed as lucid as I had been. When we talked, she seemed to be able to silence the thoughts she heard easier. But they also seemed to be louder for her. Magic just seemed to come easier to her as well.

       Of course, Jumoke was her willing blood-whore. If I said I wasn't envious, I would be lying. Letting someone into my heart wasn’t something I learned to do easily. Still, I smiled and gave them my support.

       There were a lot of preparations we needed to make for our departure, as well a giant celebration for our people. Qiang didn't want to stay in Kemet for much longer and neither did we. Bast was afraid someone would discover the truth of our transformation and I just wanted to see the world.

       Our people had accepted the explanation that we had been reborn and were planning to ascend. The lie was that we would transform into cats and then disappear from this plane. The truth was that we would turn into cats and Qiang would teleport us out of sight since we hadn't mastered that spell in animal form yet... well, I hadn't.

       While I sat on my throne, I rolled the plan over in my mind. Qiang had suggested we take new identities for when we traveled to China. It wasn't a bad idea, if our people heard someone was going around claiming to be their goddesses, they would investigate. I did not want to have to kill any of them. Giving up my name somehow felt like I was giving up a piece of me… but it was for the best if Sekmet died.

       We relented and allowed him to name us. He chose the names Yanyu and Ying. Written one way, my name would mean swallow, which was a type of bird. Written another, it would mean jade, like my eyes. Ying also meant jade, to match Bast’s eyes. Another way, it meant clever.

       We had considered giving Shador a Chinese name, but I was reluctant. As with most things, I didn't want him to bear part of our burden. But it was his decision to make and he decided to be renamed as well. I chose Feng from the options my sire had given me. It meant silent wind and I felt it suited him well.

       We wouldn't begin using our names until after the ceremony. Bast was a little apprehensive since we would be stripping down completely naked to transform, but it didn't bother me. The only piece of me my people hadn't already seen was my crotch and well, what was the point of hiding it? Besides, it was a small inconvenience in the grand scheme of everything I had given up.

       I didn't have many visitors since most were preparing for the celebration. There would be a lot of food, drinking, and dancing. I wished I would be able to celebrate with them… then I started to wonder, why couldn't I? They wouldn't stop me. The party began to look much more appealing once I realized I could participate.

       "Goddess, you have a visitor," Nassor called from the entrance, bringing my attention back to my duties. "A familiar visitor."

       I tensed. There was only _one_ man my visitor could be. I felt his presence before he entered my throne room. His glow was stronger and warmer than most others with an indescribable quality. It reminded me of Shador's in that manner. Which would be the only way he ever reminded me of my brother. Even though I dreaded his reason for returning, part of me was happy to see that devilish smirk on his face.

       "I bet you thought you'd never see this handsome face again," he said arrogantly. Like he _knew_ how much I had wanted to despite our last meeting. "Once again, it's good to see you, goddess."

       Despite my own joy, I couldn’t let him know I was happy to see him, my sire was close by. I had to control what he felt through our connection, a skill I was mastering quickly.

       "Ramses... I thought..." I caught myself. I did not gain in power to be reduced to an insecure girl again because of one man. "I'm afraid you've come at an inconvenient time," I said coolly, much more pleased with my tone. "Tomorrow night, Bast and I are ascending for the heavens."

       "Ascending, right," he said, clearly amused. To say his actions confused me would be an understatement. Ramses's gaze met my own. "With Qiang?” His guess put me on edge. “Is that who's helping you?" He gave me that damn smile again as he continued the charade. "I forgot my manners."

       As was customary, he produced a gift. Nassor took the small cloth box and brought it over to me. He opened it and I looked down into it. I barely stopped myself before I could pick it up.

       "It's a gift," he said with something in his tone I couldn't quite identify. "Something I made for you."

       The ring was silver with an onyx cat's head. Two small sapphires were set for the cat's eyes. _Silver._ Young or weak Blestemats were often burned by the metal. And he knew Qiang's name...

       "Nassor, it seems I have some private matters to discuss with him," I commanded and readjusted in my throne.

       Nassor sighed as he led the others out, but he said nothing. No one ever questioned me anymore. It was a good feeling to know that everyone understood who was really in charge. That was, of course, except for Ramses.

       "And what do you know of Qiang?" I asked evenly, making sure I sounded as indifferent as possible.

       "He's a monster," Ramses responded easily. "And I know his kind. They spin lies and promise emptiness. What have you with Qiang? Did you agree to anything?"

       Poor Ramses sounded worried, but I wasn't the one he should be afraid for. Qiang may take his anger out on me, but in the end, he would forgive me. I knew where I stood with Qiang. He was a monster I would never love, one I could handle who would never truly hurt me in a way that mattered. Ramses, however…

       I stared at the ring he made for me, wondering why he chose those materials. Would he try to kill me if he knew I had been changed? Was that the only way to convince him to stay away from me? Not that his persistence wasn’t endearing, but I genuinely did not want the man dead. If he kept coming back to me, could I stop my girlhood crush from blossoming into more?

       "You should have asked me all of this years ago," I looked up from the box Nassor had placed by my feet.  Without hesitation, I looked into Ramses's eyes. "He is my sire, Ramses."

       I stood from my throne and let my eyes fade to black, which I discovered they did when I fed. I also elongated my fangs to show him he was too late to save me. Ramses didn't look happy, but really, I was a monster. He'd forget me soon, I was certain. Never again would I need to fear the weakness Ramses could be. I was certain the golden man would never become my silver.

       "Is there anything else I can help you with?" I asked, keeping up my goddess facade, though there was no point.

       "That's what you decided?" he accused me, a small crack in his own mask. "To become... a monster!" His words cut me deeper than I had imagined they could. "Instead of... of..." he cut himself off, but I saw the truth in his eyes. I heard the whisper from his thoughts...

 _'Instead of being with me.'_ They were the only thoughts of his I heard. Everything else was silent no matter how hard I focused, I couldn't hear what he was thinking. Strangely, an odd calm fell over him.

       "You're a fool, Sekmet," he growled, his eyes keeping mine locked with his. "Or maybe I'm the fool. But I know there was something there. I didn’t imagine our connection."

       Slowly, I walked towards him. I knew it was best to get him angry, to let him hate me. It hurt, but it would keep him alive and he could move on. I could move on.

       "We're all fools, Ramses," I answered him. "You're too late to rescue me. Once I leave Kemet, I will be known as Yanyu. Now, I have the power to be an actual goddess. And I will travel and see the world, using my power to gain whatever I want." I dropped my voice to almost a whisper as I continued, "I told you to just forget me. It would have been better if you had never seen this. From tomorrow on, Sekmet will be dead."

       "Have fun being whatever it is you are now," he said angrily, but I could hear the deep sadness in his voice. "I hope it's worth the price, Yanyu." He turned from me and started to storm away, but he paused and glanced back at me.

       "You know, I had lo..." he stopped himself and looked away. "I just hope eternity is worth your while."

       "I hope you find happiness, Ramses. Enough for us both," I said in my neutral manner. As he turned to leave, I couldn't do it anymore. I knew what he had been about to tell me, and I desperately wanted to believe it, wanted to say I returned some semblance of the feelings, but what did a monster know about love?

       "I'm sorry to disappoint you twice," I said, unable to hide my remorse. I teleported away from his presence and instantly felt weaker. I hated the drain on my powers, but most of all... I hated what I did to Ramses. I hated what Ramses was to me.

       I might not have loved him then, but he was right. I could have… if I hadn’t wanted to know what it was like to be a goddess.

* * *

 


	17. Hello -- The day Yanyu was born. 3000BC

* * *

 

       To say I was nervous to leave Kemet wouldn't be a lie, but that nervousness was far outweighed by the excitement that coursed through my being. We were finally leaving, finally gaining real control over our lives. Everything I went through would be worth it. Or… so I hoped.

       Clearing my head of any doubts, I allowed Nakia to paint me one final time. I wouldn't be taking her with me. Instead, she would follow a very different path. I smiled as I remembered Nassor's earlier visit.

       "Goddess," he had spoken up shortly after waking me.

       "Yes, Nassor?" I asked curiously. There was a meekness to his tone I found intriguing. Nassor had never been timid when speaking to me, that was one of the reasons I valued him as my personal guard.

       "Since you are departing from us tonight, Nakia isn't going to have anyone to serve anymore," he stated one of the few concerns I had with leaving Kemet.

       "No, I suppose she won't," I had replied while I waited for my servants to arrive. I could hear his thoughts as if they were being quietly whispered throughout the room. He loved Nakia... he had loved her for a while and he wanted to take care of her.

       "Would we have your blessing if... if I asked her to be my wife?" he requested quietly, not looking up at me. He was afraid I would require Nakia be killed so she could join me in the heavens-- as was our custom.

       "If that is what she wants." I had to choose my words carefully so I wouldn't insult her accidently and so I could ensure her happiness was prioritized. "Nakia has served me well and I would gladly reward her whatever happiness she wanted. Have you spoken to her yet?"

       Nassor looked up at me, much happier than before. Confidence exuded from his gaze as he actually met mine.

       "I would not have asked you if I thought Nakia didn't return my feelings. Though we have never spoken them, I believe we have shared something for years," Nassor rambled excitedly until he realized the slim chance he was wrong. "I will ask her in private after she finishes your preparations for the ceremony. And if she agrees, we have your blessing?"

       "Yes, Nassor. I wish happiness for you both," I smiled at him and watched as he retook his place when my servants began to enter.

       With that memory in mind, it was hard to keep myself from smiling while Nakia applied my make-up.

       "You seem very happy to leave us, goddess," Nakia spoke softly, a tinge of sadness in her voice.

       "I will miss you, Nakia. You have always been my favorite," I confided in her. "But I think you will be happy enough without me."

       She looked at me curiously, but didn't inquire further.

       My preparations were finished. I was dressed in a completely shear gown with slits reaching to my hips. I wore a golden belt with a ruby around my waist and more bracelets, armbands, and anklets than I had ever worn in my life.

       Bast entered my room, wearing a nearly identical gown. Our makeup and hair styles resembled our respective goddesses.

 _We really couldn't wear anything thicker?'_ Bast complained to me mentally.

 _Because the rich and powerful go naked while wearing clothing,'_ I replied with a bit of humor she didn't seem to appreciate. But I smiled at her and she returned my smile. Though she didn't like it, she was as used to it as I was.

       Walking together, we made our way out of my temple and to a large litter. We sat in it and were escorted to the dais that had been set up for us. They set our litter down and we stood up, stepping in front of our father for the first time in our lives. He watched us suspiciously and we couldn't blame him. He did after all know the truth of our mortality... or so he thought.

       "Goddesses, you will be departing from us today," he announced to everyone around us. "Any parting remarks?"

       "Only that we wish for our followers to enjoy the celebration!" We declared in unison.

       A roar went through the crowd as people began to play music and dance all around us. In a spur of the moment act, I grabbed Bast's hand and pulled her to the edge of the dais.

       Some part of her knew my intentions, because she smiled before we jumped down into the crowd. Our people gasped, but cheered louder. We began to dance together amongst our people, enjoying the atmosphere.

       Their hearts all pounded a rhythm my feet followed as I danced with Bast. The energy of the living enveloped me and warmed my body and soul. The joy, the elation, I started to become drunk on the life that surrounded me.

       My sister smiled at me as she also bathed in the feeling that was life. Her smile slowly turned apologetic as she allowed Jumoke to lead her away from me and the men who had started to surround us. I just laughed my amusement at his territorial nature. I respected his guts and looked forward to his company on our journey.

       I glanced through the crowd and spotted Kesi watching me. The fire in her glare could've melted most ice... but I was a goddess of fire. With a confident smile, I took the hand of one of my followers and danced with him. He was more than happy to dance with a goddess.

       I let my fangs begin to fall, but something kept me from feeding off of him. I couldn't explain it then and I was never really certain what stopped me. I could feel sharp waves of heat and hatred from Kesi's direction, but that wasn't what prevented my feeding.

       Keeping my eyes from searching the crowd, I refused to acknowledge the other possibility.

 _'It is time,'_ Qiang's voice whispered through my mind.

 _'Bast,'_ I thought to my sister.

       We were helped back onto the dais and turned to look out at our followers. The moon was high above our heads and we closed our eyes. Without hesitation, we took off our belts.

       "We have long remained in this mortal realm as your goddesses, but now it is time we returned to the sky," we spoke in unison, giving our words an eerie chatting quality. "We will return to you someday, but until then may Horus watch over you and Ra bless you."

       We dropped our robes and transformed. I turned into a lioness and Bast turned into a panther. Gasps erupted from the crowd as well as curses and prayers. Qiang teleported us away before anyone could try to harm us.

       Turning back human, I looked around at where we were. It was a large tent, part of Qiang's caravan. Shador draped a robe over me and Bast before Jumoke joined us. I leaned against my brother. Transforming had taken a lot of energy out of me and I could barely remain awake.

       "You two can rest," Shador assured us. "I will make sure your bodies are protected during the day."

 _"We_ will," Jumoke corrected him. I had to stifle a laugh when Shador rolled his eyes at Jumoke.

       "Where is--"

       "Qiang is in his tent with his blood whores," Shador answered before I could finish my question. "Now sleep. You'll need your strength."

       Shador's tone sent shivers up my spine... what did he know that I didn't? I ignored the knot in my stomach and laid my head in his lap. Bast cuddled up to Jumoke to sleep. Which made Shador and I look away from them. Not because seeing them was awkward for us… just that they deserved privacy.

       Trusting my brother, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to drift off. Someday I would have better stamina with my powers...someday.

* * *

 


	18. Tsvetanka -- The year I met her. 2999 BC

* * *

 

       The first thing in China I had to adjust to wasn't my name. I thought getting accustomed to 'Yanyu' would be difficult, but it was surprisingly easy since it was the only word I understood. What did take a lot of adjusting to was the clothing.

       I was used to layers of make-up and body paint. Accustomed to my skin being bare, to flowing garments, and the wind against my body. However, the quju of China were nothing like my home attire.

       The outfit consisted primarily of three very large pieces. The yi, a very long dress that crossed my front and around my back. I would have been fine wearing that alone, but underneath it was the qun, a large skirt. Sometimes I would be required to wear a shan as well. That was a large jacket worn over my yi.

       All of this was held on by sashes and small ties. Though I did enjoy the very long, flowing sleeves, it took a while to get used to wearing... so much fabric.

       My sister loved them. She took to the new fashion like a snake to sand.

       "Yanyu," Bai, my current blood whore, called my name. He spoke to me in Chinese, but I didn't understand what he wanted. Not even a year was enough time to train for me to learn everything I needed to use all my powers. I only knew he seemed excited about something.

       Finally, I stood up and walked over to him. He paused and tilted his neck, knowing what I intended. I leaned in and bit down to feed. His thoughts gently flowed into my mind and translated themselves into something I could understand. My sire was returning.

       "Thank you," I said in my newly acquired accent. Because my powers were still new, I could only absorb his skill and knowledge for a short time. But as my powers grew, I would be able to absorb things more permanently.

       "I will be out shortly," I informed him. Bai sprinted away, eager to greet Qiang. It seemed my sire was very charismatic in his home country. Which hadn’t surprised me considering he had approved of my plan to leave my people loving me. Qiang approved of anything he could fool himself into believing was his idea or his influence even though he had never mentioned his homeland popularity to me. Arrogant bastard that one.

       Knowing he would request my presence, I walked over to one of my handmaidens and peered into her mind to see how I looked. This was my first version of a mirror. The first time I had seen myself I was more than pleased with my appearance. I could see why my people believed me divine.

       My jaw line was strong and defined, though more v-shaped than squared. Combined with high cheek bones and thick lips, I had a powerful appearing facial structure. My nose had the typical wide brim, but the bridge was narrower and more pronounced than was typical of my people. The key feature to add an exotic touch to my beauty, my eyes, were the exact shade I had always imagine. Though dark, my skin was barely lighter than many of my people, which was more a symbol of my high status than genetics. Which seemed to be a standard shared in China.

       Beauty is of course a vague concept. There were eras when my filled figure and curves wouldn’t be seen as desirable, but back then they were a sign of fertility and that was considered very sexy. Over the years I would discover that with the right attitude any body type would be acceptable. And I was a master of changing the walk and talk.

       Qiang would always want me to act like myself. Or at least as what _he_ though was myself.

       As I felt him near the temple, I withdrew from the servant’s mind and despite the weight of the robes, walked with my natural saunter to meet with my sire.

       Out of self-preservation, I gave him my full attention as I entered his room and bowed. The second I was certain he was satisfied, I glanced to a very powerful figure beside my sire. They were dressed as a woman, their make-up heavy and with patterns distinct to women of the time even though their jaw was quite square, something I associated with men. Their aura offered no hints as to their gender, something that happened on occasion. Furthermore, they were dark skinned and had green eyes like my own, though their hair was a reddish brown. Curious, I stood before given permission.

       “Where are you from?” I had barely finished the question before Qiang stood to strike me, but the other person held up their hand to stop him.

       “I come from the west, though we have no relation my dear. My eyes are naturally a light brown as well as my hair. However, I enjoy this look so much more,” they spoke in my native tongue with no trace of an accent. “Please call me Tsvetanka. I will not require any formal titles from you. I am Qiang’s sire, which makes you my blood-kin. I was turned by the progenitor of our line, you don’t understand yet, but that makes us quite powerful.”

       Qiang’s sire was a situation I had never encountered before. Normally women took on male identities for leaderships in the rare cases they were allowed it. But I had never heard of a man saying he was a woman. At least Tsvetanka sounded like a man to a sheltered me. Then again, it didn’t make much difference to me either way.

       “Then it’s an honor to meet you,” I said as I began to bow, but she stopped me and I watched her suspiciously.

       “You show obedience while giving me that calculating gaze,” she commented. “A queen waiting to take her place. I very much like you. Come and sit with me. Qiang, go get us some dinner. You know what I like.”

       I thought for certain that he would glare or give me a displeased glance, but instead Qiang looked pleased with himself. With a confidence I didn’t really feel, I walked over to Tsvetanka. As I moved to sit beside her, I was pulled into her lap. Years with Qiang had given me the ability to subdue the initial reflex to tense, leaving me a little breathless instead.

       “He really should keep a close eye on you,” she mused as she rested an arm around the small of my back and the other across my lap. “Sometimes a Blestemat will turn someone with the intention of gaining a powerful Boboc who will be loyal to us. I can sense that you will be powerful, more powerful than he or I. But you do not feel the bond as your sire thinks. You are not loyal, but fearful and that bond is easy enough to break over time.”

       The way she spoke was making me uneasy. Fear wouldn’t help me and I had stopped being docile to anyone other than Qiang when I sold myself to him.

       “Then what? Are you going to kill me now?” I asked her, wondering if that was why she held me in her lap.

       “Oh no, my dear. Qiang has much to fear from you for he is volatile and controlling,” she said it so dismissively I wondered if it was a common trait amongst our kind. “However, I would love to earn your loyalty. You’re very beautiful and I love beautiful people,” she said as she cupped my cheek in her hand. “You’re also in pain. Qiang can’t feel it because he’s blind, but I can. Your sister can keep her lover, but you have thrown all chances of love aside. Let me ease your pain in their stead.”

       “What about Qiang?” I asked quietly. No, I didn’t really care about his feelings. However, Tsvetanka was right when she called him volatile. While I was there with Tsvetanka, Bast and Shador were unprotected against my sire’s wrath.

       “He’ll pout if we don’t include him, but he’ll be pleased even if I keep you to myself. Qiang is my most loyal Boboc, he loves to please me,” she explained as her fingers began to play with my sashes.

       “I don’t understand either of your obsession with sex,” I blurted out with an exasperated sigh.

       Tsvetanka laughed. “Becoming a Blestemat increases certain aspects of who you are. When I was mortal I was an enthusiastic sexual deviant. When I chose to turn Qiang, I did so because he shared in my love and desire of sex,” she explained. “I see your desire is connected to your heart. For that, I am sorry. To keep Qiang happy you tolerate his touch? I intend for you to enjoy mine. But we could do nothing.” She removed her hands. “You have control.”

       It was a strange offer. Not even Kesi had given me full control in bed, it was something we fought for. But I didn’t want to do anything sexual, so I stood up and went to sit beside her just as Qiang came in with two very attractive men and one beautiful woman. He led the woman and one of the men over to Tsvetanka. They started to feed, then he glanced at me. Tsvetanka grabbed a hold of Qiang and pulled him over to lock lips with her.

       Content they would leave me to my meal and not drag me into their intended coupling, I pulled the other man towards me and soothed his fears. Then I began to feed, trying to absorb his native language while keeping his memories from my mind. I discovered it was easier to practice absorbing knowledge when I wasn’t actually hungry.

       Tsvetanka had given me much to consider. Was she attempting to set me up and prove I was somehow a traitor to my sire? What would be the point in that? If what she said was true... if someday I would be able to kill Qiang, then did she really not care? Then something she said hit me. _‘Sometimes a Blestemat will turn someone with the intention of gaining a powerful Boboc who will be loyal to us.’_

       To her, I was an upgrade. A possible loyal Boboc to follow and obey her. If pretending I was loyal to Qiang had become easy, I was confident I could wait it out to see if Tsvetanka was worthy of my trust or just another stepping stone in my rise to freedom.

* * *

 


	19. Alone -- The Year I considered what it meant. 2998 BC

* * *

 

       Tsvetanka was a blessing of sorts. She kept Qiang well entertained with servants and small orgies while I was given the freedom to wander around without either of them. I chose to use this time to practice my abilities and allow myself to retain knowledge more permanently.

       While out and observing the locals, I spotted my brother hanging out with a few boys his age. Nothing unusual for him at the time. Many of those boys usually worked the fields with their families, but Shador was pretty clever. He would help one kid finish his work in the field, then those two would help the next, and by evening, all of them were more than free to wander about before they’d need to sleep.

       Unfortunately, I had never witness this as they worked in the daylight, but one of my retainers often checked on my brother for me. When it came to my brother, I left nothing to chance, so I would never just take their word. Memory reading was the only trustworthy way to know what they saw.

       My siblings were both content, which pleased me, but I soon realized without Qiang to worry about, I didn’t have much to do. Though watching the locals that were awake at night was interesting to me, it wasn’t interesting enough to do for months on end.

       Eventually what I saw them do became routine. Discontent, I decided to travel to a nearby village with different people. While there weren’t many people awake, there were a few rambunctious individuals enjoying quite a bit of alcohol. Not many of the locals in Qiang’s village drank since he didn’t enjoy the taste of alcohol in their blood. It was generally accepted to live near his estate, they might have been snacked on from time to time, but no one was ever killed.

       I wondered if these locals would know about Blestemats. Would that change how they treated me here? I had grown accustomed to the respect from my own followers, and then from Qiang’s. I had never truly been without social status or guards to protect me. Looking around me, I realized I had left my guards behind without meaning to. This vulnerability… excited me.

       After I straightened my layers, I made my way towards the small party they were enjoying. Even though I could still understand _most_ of what they said, it had been awhile since I absorbed the knowledge from my bloodwhore. Guessing between the lines was entertaining.

       One of the older men had aged very well and surmised I was the wife of a nearby wealthy farmer. Though one of the other men made a crude suggestion of how to entertain themselves with me, the first man rejected the idea. However, he did invite me to gamble with them.

       I had a bit of currency with me and joined in to sate my curiosity. We used some sort of dice and while I wasn’t the luckiest one there, I was far from the unluckiest. After a few more drinks of what smelled like a honey based beer, the older man was showing me some tricks to the game. How I could supposedly flick my wrist to get a better result.

       While he demonstrated a particular flick, I could hear the other men discussing his deceased daughter. They spoke of how she would have been about my age if she were still alive. Perhaps the man had sensed a similarity between his daughter and myself.

       That notion intrigued me. How was I, a woman raised to be praised and worshipped, one who had sold her body and her soul for power, anything like the daughter of a farmer. A girl who had grown up learning to work and prepare for marriage who had passed from illness. Not to mention _where_ we had grown up.

       Yet the sorrow and content I saw in the old man’s eyes felt as though it enforced the theory. I can’t say it endeared me to him as I was never one to enjoy comparison. However, it did make him a curiosity to me. Once the hour had grown too late for the others, one by one they all left. A few commenting that I could take their money anytime. The group amused me.

       Once the old man and I were alone, he asked my name with a chuckle. I presume he assumed I would not understand the question.

       “Yanyu,” I answered with a smile.

       His eyes widened before he burst out laughing.

       “You understood us,” he stated simply. “That might embarrass some of the younger lads. Yanyu. A fitting name, but not your birthname?”

       “It’s the only one that matters,” I replied. “What was your daughter’s name?”

       “Chuntao,” he said quietly before clearing his throat. “You understood that as well.”

       “Do I really remind you of her?” I let my curiosity drive the conversation. Becoming attached would only endanger us both, but I was sure Qiang would not truly become jealous of this old man.

       He slowly shook his head before he drank some water from a nearby pot.

       “She enjoyed playing games,” he began to reminisce. “But she wasn’t bold as you seem to be. Would never wander around at night on her own. Your hair is dark like hers, but no. I just enjoy teaching.”

       Somehow, his answer disappointed me. Perhaps the others were merely reminded of a time when the old man could enjoy showing his daughter how to roll dice. Perhaps, I was hoping that somehow, he had seen something in me he once saw in his daughter.

       “There are worse things to enjoy,” I replied, maintaining my curious tone, despite no longer feeling curious. “Do you have no other children?”

       “No. The illness that took my daughter, took them as well as my wife,” he responded with a sigh. Tears began to stream down his face.

       “You’re alone?” I asked, suddenly understanding why he would be the last to leave. He had no one to go home to. When he didn’t answer, I looked over to him. His breathing had deepened, his tears had dried.

       I walked over to him and gently leaned his head back. The moment my fangs pierced his flesh, I could feel his sorrow, his loneliness. Truly, he had nothing left to live for… but he didn’t want to die. With a small lick, I healed the puncture wounds and left him to his sleep.

       He had left me with much to consider. I knew I would return to the village. I just wasn’t sure what my intent would be.

* * *

 


	20. Weakness -- The Year I refused to have one. 2997 BC

* * *

 

       “You got them a baby?” Qiang questioned from the mountain of pillows he lounged upon.

       “Is there a problem with that?” I asked my sire as I took the space beside him. He had just returned from escorting his sire home, which left me to entertain him again.

       “No, so long as you made sure the child was not diseased,” Qiang replied prudently. “We can’t have this village getting sick, we’d run out of food.”

       “I made sure she was perfectly healthy,” I attempted to reassure him. “I would never put the family in danger. Besides, she’s almost a year old now. If she carried the disease, she would have died long ago.”

       “Good. You can’t let your emotions cloud your judgment,” Qiang warned me as he rubbed her hands down my arms. Thankfully my sleeves kept him from directly touching me. “Do you want a child, Yanyu?”

       “Fuck no,” I shot at him and reflexively changed my tone, but thankfully, he seemed amused. “There is still so much of the world I wish to see. Besides, I had never wanted children even when I was mortal. Do you have a sudden paternal instinct?”

       “No, nothing like that. I just wanted to ensure you’re happy,” he whispered, his lips pressed against my neck.

       His words were sweet, but that was how Qiang was. So long as he was happy, he pretended to care about my feelings. The second he was upset, that would all go out the window. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he wanted me to adopt a kid so he could use them against me.

       “When are we going to visit more of the world?” I asked, leaning my head back. Generally, if I wanted something I had to give him something first.

       “When the hunters stop looking for you,” he whispered, his hands undoing one of the sashes holding my yi closed. “It seems a small team of them were there at your departure ceremony in Kemet. I thought they would have given up by now. It seems they are determined to find you and your sister.”

       “Really? They must not be very threatening if they have been looking for three years,” I mused. “Or are you not telling me something?”

       “Even an inexperienced hunter can get a lucky shot every now and then. No more talk of the hunters or travel, I have missed your touch,” he said huskily and yanked my head back to pull me down to the cot.

       And I indulged him, because if I didn’t I would have received worse than some yanked hair.

\- - - - - - -

       When he was satisfied, I used the wash bowl in our room to clean myself. Not that I needed to, but I never felt clean after having sex with Qiang. He just assumed it was an indulgence left over from my mortal life, admittedly he may have been a little right.

       Once I was washed, I allowed a handmaid to help me dress. I thanked her and set out for my favorite village to visit. I wasn’t sure when Qiang would return, but he said he planned to meet with another Blestemat to discuss the hunters following us. All that meant was I had the rest of the night to myself.

       The few villager men who were awake greeted me with halfhearted smiles. I could not blame them when an illness was taking their loved ones from them. I looked around to each gambler until I saw my favorite old man.

       “Have there been any more losses?” I asked him quietly as I took a seat at his side.

       “No, but several are at a turning point. We’ll know tomorrow if they’re going to make it or not,” he replied calmly. “This damn illness is persistent, but thanks to our medicine woman we haven’t lost as many as we might have.”

       “Your voice sounds a little hoarse,” I commented, but hoped I was imagining it.

       “It has already passed through me, no need to fuss,” he gently teased me. “Are you here to check on an old man or to gamble some more coin away?”

       “Someone is feeling confident tonight,” I teased back.

       We rolled a few rounds, he did seem to have the favor of a luck deity on his side, but I was far from cursed. As usual, the hour grew late and everyone else left long before my old man. We sat in the fading twilight, neither willing to break the silence. Those quiet nights, listening to the world around us, were genuinely my greatest memories of my sire’s homeland.

       “You should be going,” he gently prodded. “The sun will up soon.”

       “Need your beauty rest?” I asked with a small smile, choosing to ignore his concern.

       “Yanyu, I know about your… condition,” he confessed hesitantly.

       “My condition?” I was not about to give away my immortality right after discussing hunters in the area with Qiang. I may have resented the man, but he had an excellent survival instinct.

       “Your sire stopped by the village,” he explained, the news twisted my insides. “He spoke to several of us. The general sentiment he expressed was to ensure you were kept safe and…”

       "That I wasn’t hiding a lover?” I guessed. I could see no other reason for Qiang to investigate the village without telling me.

       “You are not the first fledgling he has brought to his village,” the old man continued to explain. “You will likely not be the last. He seemed convinced you had no lover here.”

       “Because I don’t,” I said irritably. “He can’t find someone who doesn’t exist.”

       “Very true.” His tone sent my skin crawling.

       “What are you thinking about?” I dared to ask him.

       “Forgive my arrogance, but I worry he may try to use me to keep you around,” he confessed. “He has been master of his village since before I was born. Often, he gives his fledglings freedom only to reveal chains far tighter than they had before. If… if he ever tries to get something from you by threatening me—“

       “I would let you die,” I informed him coldly. The hurt in his eyes was quickly masked by relief, so I explained, “You are not arrogant to believe I am fond of you. But I have given too much to let my fondness of someone I barely know become a weakness.”

       He sat there quietly, but somehow I just felt relief from him.

       “Hold onto that. You’re going to need it.”

       No one had ever given me better advice.

* * *

 


	21. Persistence -- The year I learned his. 2996 BC

* * *

 

       As the days went on, I spent less time around Qiang’s estate and more time in the surrounding villages. Qiang didn’t seem to mind my time away from him, but I was always close enough to get back before sunrise. The small freedom lifted my spirits more than I could explain… it still wasn’t enough.

       To distract myself from the restlessness that never seemed to leave me, I became invested in the people of the villages beyond my wise old gambling man. There wasn’t a lot of observation I could do directly, but I found in every village there were those who stayed up at night and most of them enjoyed gossiping.

       During one of these gossiping discussions, I discovered I wasn’t the only one socializing in the villages. Several women giggled about the attractive and exotic young man who traveled to the village in the day. He was sometimes accompanied by an older man, also with exotic skin.

       While I wasn’t surprised to hear Shador was visiting the villages, or winning the admiration of women around him, it was odd to think Jumoke would leave Bast’s side during the day. Or that he would entrust someone with Chen, the baby girl he and Bast had adopted.

       “Did they have a baby with them?” I inquired, gaining the curiosity of the other women.

       “No. Do they have a baby?” a younger woman asked. Her cheeks flushed when she looked into my eyes. “Are they your husband and son?”

       I chuckled, and waved my hand dismissively.

       “My younger brother and my sister’s husband I think,” I corrected her. “If the younger one has eyes like mine, that is my brother, Feng. My sister’s husband should not be traveling during the day though.”

       “Your sister is a very lucky woman,” an older woman said with a dreamy tone. “To have a man with hair blessed by the sun is a good omen.”

       The proud smile I wore froze. ‘ _Hair blessed by the sun?’_ He couldn’t have been… why would Shador have been with him?

       “When was the last time they were in the village?” I asked, taking great care to keep my tone friendly and inquisitive.

       “A few days ago,” the older woman said without a hint of my internal dread. “We don’t see him often. Every few months he and your brother come through the town. He purchases supplies and they leave together. Is this not something about your brother you know?”

       “I am his sister, not his mother,” I scoffed. These women only deserved to know what I felt was safe for gossipers to learn. “He does what he wants, goes where he wants to go.”

       “Then your mother should keep a closer eye on him,” the older woman teased. “Or he’s liable to have a few babies.”

       It suddenly occurred to me the admiration for my brother wasn’t one sided. Pride, but also my protective instinct fought to react. I forced them aside and settled for something reasonable. He was a young man past puberty and old enough to explore sexuality. Hopefully in a way very different from my own experience.

       “If he does, our family will simply grow,” I reasoned with a genuine smile. “Look at the hour. You ladies should get some rest soon. Big harvest day tomorrow.”

       “We’ll keep an eye out for a good husband for you,” the older woman teased me, but I could find no humor in her offer.

       “I am afraid Master Qiang would not appreciate that,” I gently informed her. “But I appreciate your care. Rest easy.”

       The small group of women grew quiet until they thought I was out of hearing range. Their whispers revealed a strange fascination with my sire and many of them even desired to be chosen by him for feeding or more. He had those people so fooled…

       - - - - - - -        

       With a supernatural speed, I hastened to my brother’s room where he was sleeping soundly. I gently sat at his side and watched him. His face was so peaceful. A perfect mask to hide his secrets from me.

       “Shador,” I whispered and gently ran my hand over the top of his head. “I need to speak to you. Wake up.”

       “Mmm,” he groaned and rolled onto his side. His eyes opened, the expression confused and tired. “Is everything okay?”

       “I don’t know,” I answered honestly, keeping my voice a whisper. “Why are you seeing Ramses?”

       His eyes snapped awake, his body tensed, but he showed no other reactions. Even his heart rate remained calm.

       “Is there a reason I shouldn’t?” his tone was strangely genuine and uncertain.

       “Several,” I whispered with a sigh. “Starting with his distaste of Blestemats and desire to kill us.”

       “He doesn’t want to kill you,” Shador defended, speaking as quietly as I was. “Just…”

       “No, Shador if he tries that he _will_ get us killed,” I spoke low, trying to emphasize every word. “Even if he could, the people of this area love my sire. They would seek revenge.”

       "How can they love that monster?” Shador asked in disbelief and sat up. ”If they knew—if they saw—“

       “They don’t and it probably wouldn’t matter.” I took his face into my hands. “I need you to stop whatever you are conspiring with him. I won’t ask details, the less I know the safer we all are. But I need you to stop.”

       Shador looked down, avoiding my gaze.

       “Talk to the villagers, see what they say,” I offered him. “You’ll see what I mean. We need his protection and his influence in this area until we’re stronger.”

       Shador sighed and pushed my hands away from his face.

       “Fine. I’ll talk to the villagers,” he begrudgingly accepted.

       “Good. And… be careful with the young women,” I added awkwardly.

       “What?” he asked and looked back up to me. “The young… I know who you were talking to. I am _not_ having sex with them. Those nosey old bats keep insinuating we-gah. Look, I’m attracted to women, yes. But I’m not really for sex right now. Not until we are away from the psycho who might kill anyone I fall for to make a po-“

       I cut Shador off with a bear hug. He shared my fears… but he shouldn’t have.

       “I will get stronger, I promise,” I whispered, holding my rather large baby brother tightly. He deserved so much better.

* * *

 


	22. Hunter - The Year I became one. 2995 BC

* * *

 

       I ran around Qiang’s property, breaking doors as I thrust them open. Panic coursed through my body as I searched in vain for my siblings. My sister’s daughter, Chen was cradled in the arms of a terrified servant. As calmly as I could, I demanded to know why Shador’s quarters were empty. Why Bast’s quarters were in shambles, why there were the bodies of guards at our gates.

       She barely managed to squeak out an explanation. I told her to take Chen to the western village until I returned. The servant obeyed without hesitation.

       I turned from them, my nails digging into my fists. Two days. I had left with Qiang for two days to secure trustworthy guards and transport for all of us to travel. We were going to escort Bast and Jumoke to some property I convinced Qiang to gift them.

       “I should’ve been here,” I growled and slammed my fist into the thin wall.

       “It would seem we should move to the other property until this mess is cleaned up,” Qiang muttered with a sigh. “Such a shame.”

       “I’m going after them,” I said, meeting his gaze with my head held high. “Do you have an issue with that?”

       Qiang remained quiet as his gaze drifted from mine to the rest of me and back up.

       “I doubt they attacked that long ago. If you go now you _might_ be able to save them,” Qiang considered thoughtfully. “If you die, I’ll find a way to resurrect you so I can make you regret your error in judgement.”

       “I won’t die,” I said with conviction.

       “You’re certain this has nothing to do with your _friend_? The one you used to dream about?” Qiang asked with a dangerous tone while he trailed his fingers along my neck.

       “If he did, he will regret crossing me,” I replied sincerely. “No one puts my siblings in harm’s way.”

       “You’d kill him?” Qiang pressed, his lips beside my ear.

       “I’d kill anyone who endangers them,” I said without hesitation or doubt.

       “Happy hunting,” he whispered and vanished from my sight.

       I disrobed with my unnatural speed and dressed in the robes I wore while a goddess in Kemet. The hunters would know who to fear when I was through. They would know who hunted them.

       Closing my eyes, I search for the invisible thread that bound my sister to me. It was weak, but I found it and followed the beacon through the land. Unfortunately, I couldn’t teleport to them since I had no idea where they were, but my speed was more than enough to take me to them within the hour.

       The hunters seemed to have made their base in a cave along the eastern border of what was considered Qiang’s land. Wise considering Qiang avoided the east. I stood at the edge of the tree line and listened to their heartbeats. Seven hunters, my brother, and my brother-in-law were all the hearts in the cave, but I could feel my sister’s aura as well.

       Something within me snapped. Without fear or hesitation, I stepped away from the tree line and brazenly walked towards the hunter guarding the entrance. Of course he reached for his sword, but before his hand touched the hilt, I was behind him, my teeth in his neck to rip the information I wanted from his mind.

       Ramses wasn’t involved with these hunters. They didn’t even know his name, let alone have an arrangement with him. While that was good to know for future arguments with my sire, it wasn’t everything I needed to know.

       The hunters had used my brother. Promised to kill Qiang and spared his sisters. The fuckers _lied_ to him, always intent to kill the lot of us. I snapped the guard’s neck and turned to walk further into the cave. They weren’t even seasoned hunters, just amateurs looking to earn an easy reputation by killing some of Qiang’s fledglings. They picked the wrong bitch’s family to touch. 

       They didn’t hear my silent approached. Didn’t notice me removed the silver restraints from my sister’s bleeding wrists. Didn’t see as I crouched over my brother to see the bruises they had inflicted on him.

       But they saw as I stood beside their fire. Felt my bare hands break their wrists, heard my taunts as I slammed them against the cave walls like the nothings they were. I reveled in every snap of their necks until one remained. I broke one of his legs. He begged me not to kill not him, groveled at my feet.

       “Oh you’re staying alive,” I cooed and gently caressed his cheek with my hand. “I need you to go back to your group and give them a message for me. If they _ever_ come after my family again, I will hunt every one of you and your families down. Do I make myself clear?”

       “Y-y-yes,” he sniffled out. “Th-thank you.”

       “Get out,” I commanded, my expression cold.

       Once he managed to hobble his way out of the cave, I turned to my beaten family and teleported them to the new estate, one by one. A servant informed me Qiang was away handling some business. I thanked them and decided it was for the better.

       “Sekmet,” Shador whispered as he woke, his eyes unfocused. “I’m… sor… they… drug—“

       “Shhh,” I hushed him, running my fingers through his hair. “We’ll discuss this later. For now, rest and heal. You took a beating.”

       “I… could… have… if… fair…” he drifted off to sleep, his sentence unfinished.

       I remained beside all three of them for the rest of the night and well into the day, even bathing and changing back into one of the layered qujus Qiang favored. Despite my safe return, I knew he’d be pissed. Hell, I was pissed, but more concerned they were sleeping for so long.

       Finally, I couldn’t fight the sun’s oppressive presence and had to let myself fall under the pull. The only peace I held onto was knowing Qiang could not return before nightfall. We had until then to rest.

* * *

 


	23. Vow -- The Year I made the most important one. 2995 BC

* * *

 

       My siblings remained asleep for a portion of the night while I watch over them, my stomach twisted and heavy. I wanted to check on Chen, but I was too afraid of what my sire would do if I wasn’t there when he returned. The mere fact he hadn’t yet loomed over me.

       Shador turned, restlessly, probably plagued by the guilt he rightfully felt.

       I hoped, prayed to Anubis and Ra that my siblings awoke soon. Called on gods I never truly believed in, choosing to risk regaining a belief I lost more than a decade before.

       A deep groan turned my attention to my brother-in-law as he stirred. I allowed a small smile to cross my face and turned to him.

       “Well, well,” I spoke softly. “The mighty defender awakens.”

       He groaned some more in response and moved his arm as if he were trying to shove at me.

       “You’re not very funny,” he complained as he slowly pushed himself into a sitting position. “Sekmet… I’m sorry. I failed to protect them.”

       “I’m not Sekmet anymore. You know this,” I corrected him. “You seemed outnumbered. For all your training, you are still human. They were trained to fight my kind. You’re lucky to have survived. This is not on you. Besides, they’re alive. They’ll be fine.”

       Jumoke scoffed, then went silent. After a moment, he chuckled. A strange, misplaced chuckle given the circumstance.

       “I never expected you to be so forgiving,” he explained and reached over to caress Bast’s hair. “Maybe I’m finally growing on you.”

       “No, I just realized how much I don’t need you to protect them,” I retorted. “I am more than strong enough to keep us safe so long as Feng starts minding me as he should.”

       “Feng?” Jumoke turned to me confused. “Was he still… I thought he stopped in Kemet.”

       “Don’t worry about it,” I dismissed. “I will be keeping a much closer eye on him.”

       “Where is Chen?” Jumoke demanded with a sudden panic in his voice.

       “A servant took her somewhere safe under my direction. I’m waiting for Qiang to get back before I go get her,” I explained, wishing I had been able to retrieve her already. I couldn’t keep them all safe if they were separate.

       Jumoke remained quiet while he watched Bast sleep. I shifted closer to my brother while a comfortable silence settled into the room. Not much later, Bast and Shador began to stir.

       “Sekmet,” Bast gasped as she shot up. “You found us!” she declared, her eyes glossing over. “I kept calling, I wasn’t sure if you heard, but it was all I could do.”

       “I heard you,” I reassured her. “And I came as I always will.”

       “Jumoke,” she turned to him, burying her face in his chest. “You’re okay, y-you never woke up.”

       “Shhh,” he held her tightly while I looked away from them.

       “I’m sorry,” Shador’s voice was smaller than I’d ever heard him sound before. Slowly, he sat up, his eyes glued to the floor. “I thought-I just wanted-they weren’t supposed to-“

       Without warning, I slapped him.

       “I know what you thought. I _warned_ you,” I said in a low growl. “I told you to stop, and did you? Did you stop meeting with them?”

       Shador remained silent, his gaze glued to the wall.

       “You would have left Chen and I to mourn all of you if they hadn’t needed bait,” I continued, letting my fear fuel my rage so I would not be soft on my brother. “And we don’t yet know what Qiang will ask for in return for his safehouse being compromised.”

       “He can have my-“

       I slapped him again, then grabbed the collar of his quju.

       “Do not _dare_ finish that sentence. After everything I have done, do not _dare_ throw your life away so needlessly,” I berated in a low, cold tone. “I just want you to _listen_ to me. I am not afraid without reason. Do you understand me?”

       Finally, he raised his gaze to meet mine. Slowly, he nodded his head and I let go of him.

       I turned to see Jumoke and Bast, who were looking anywhere but at me and Shador. None of them really seemed to understand we weren’t out of danger yet.

       I shifted back to a comfortable position to keep watching them. Bast and Jumoke began to debate leaving on their own or staying with us while Jumoke went through his transition. They were stupid to think Qiang would let them leave after being proven a weakness, but I said nothing and just wished he would accept that I had handled the situation.

       A few hours later, I felt my sire’s return. He strutted—what he thought was an attractive strut- into the room with a devious smile on his face. My entire body set on edge, every part of me felt the instinct to flee, but I stood up and bowed my head to him.

       “Welcome back, sire,” I greeted with a mask of obedience.

       “You’re all safe,” he cooed sickeningly. “Can anyone tell me how the hunters found us in the first place?”

       “I—“

       “It’s my fault,” Jumoke cut Shador off. “I used to hunt monsters in Kemet. I cut ties with those hunters when we changed our identities, but some ties don’t break so easy.”

       Qiang’s gaze remained on Jumoke for a while before turning to Shador briefly. I stepped closer to my brother, ready to fight my sire if I had to. I’d die before letting him kill Shador.

       Something in Qiang’s gaze changed when he looked from Shador to me. I refused to flinch as he looked into my mind, but he didn’t go very deep. Nothing beyond my surface thoughts. He turned back to Jumoke and Bast.

       “I see, so you’re willing to lie to me to protect the guilty party,” Qiang mused. “Admirable, but stupid. You see, if _Feng_ doesn’t learn his lesson, how can we be sure he won’t repeat it? For centuries, I kept that estate safe, well-guarded, fruitful, and yet one _child’s_ mistake and I have a lot of cleaning up to do. Since you’re so willing to protect him, you can be his lesson.”

       “Sekmet,” Jumoke yelled and shoved my sister at me. I caught her as her screams pierced my soul.

       Qiang stood behind Jumoke, his arm straight through my brother-in-law. His hand held Jumoke's still beating heart as it protruded from his chest. Bast screamed, shoved against me, but I refused to let go of her. I was barely aware of my brother’s cries beside me as Qiang pulled his hand back, letting Jumoke’s body slump to the ground.

       “Your sister’s pain is your fault, boy,” Qiang growled, his gaze locked with my frozen brother. “When I am satisfied you’ve learned your lesson, she may have her daughter back. Until then, don’t worry, she _safe_. Yanyu, I expect you to return to me tomorrow. Tonight, keep an eye on them.”

       Then he was gone. I released my sister and watched, helpless as she fell to Jumoke’s body, cradling him in her arms, screaming his name. I turned to Shador, his gaze hollow, the spirit of a broken boy I had never wanted to see in his gaze. I pulled him into my arms where he went limp.

       I spent the night consoling my siblings as best I could. I vowed to avenge Jumoke, to avenge my sister’s broken heart, my brother’s broken soul. I vowed to get so powerful no one could take anything away from us again.

* * *

 


	24. Grief -- The Year I accepted it would always exist 2995 BC

* * *

 

       Nights went by without a word from Bast. For a while, she refused to eat, but I managed to convince her after reminding her not eating could lead to a feeding frenzy. While I felt no anger or malice from her towards myself, the cold behavior she directed at Shador was as obvious as his guilt.

       One night, I left Shador where he slept propped up beside Bast’s door. He had taken it upon himself to guard her and see to her every need. She was in her room, freshly fed and mourning in her bed.

       For the first time since his death, I went into the room Jumoke was ‘resting’ in. His body was prepared for a ceremonial burning. It had taken a few days, but I convinced Qiang to let us honor Jumoke the way Blestemats and Hunters both honored their dead.

       Despite the preparation, his eyes were still opened. Even if I tried to close them, his body was magically preserved until the burning. That way, his tongue wouldn’t swell and he wouldn’t decay until the full moon came into the sky. The greatest of honors would be given—Burning him in the light of the Moon Mother for her to take him to the afterlife.

       “When they weigh your heart, I know the feather will drop the scale,” I whispered in our native tongue. “I was wrong, Jumoke.”

       I gently placed my hand over his chest, above the fabric that covered the gaping hole. The expression in his eyes was accepting. No fear, no pain. He’d known what he was doing. Had accepted his fate before Qiang had decided it.

       “I said I didn’t need you to protect our family,” I continued to whisper, my lips trembling. “But you did. You protected us in a way I couldn’t. I… if you hadn’t given your life, I don’t know what would have happened.”

       Spots on his silk shirt darkened where my tears fell.

       “I can’t say I’ve always liked you,” I admitted to a man who would never hear my words. “But I did learn to love you. You made her happy. Sometimes you two made me envious. I wished I could have that one day, but I never will. But I—I came to terms with that. Decided to help you two live the life you deserved. Now I have to put our family back together… because I didn’t keep Shador safe. You had to… I’m sorry, Jumoke.”

       I dropped to my knees and let the tears flow.

       “I promise you, I will get stronger. I’ll keep them safe,” I rambled promises to myself and to his memory. “I will find Chen, I’ll bring her back to Bast. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Thank you. For everything.”

       The rocky waters of my emotions raged until there was nothing left to disturb them. Eventually, the rivers calmed, my tears dried, and my breathing steadied. I stood up and cleaned my face. I took in a deep, purposeful breath and exhaled slowly.

       Before, I could do what I needed because I had Jumoke to watch over them. But clearly, that hadn’t worked out. And I couldn’t be everywhere at once. Things needed to change. I couldn’t baby them anymore.

       There was no more time to grieve, no more time to indulge in my own emotions. I needed to finish making arrangements for his funeral and get my siblings back on talking terms. Even if they weren’t friendly terms. Without hesitation, I made my way back to Bast’s room.

       “Jumoke did not give his life so you could ignore our brother forever,” I stated clearly and yanked my still sleeping brother into the room. Bast glared at me, ignoring the poor rudely awakened boy on the floor.

       “It’s his fault,” she retorted coldly.

       “While Shador _was_ stupid and _should_ have listened, he is _not_ the one who killed Jumoke,” I shot back, refusing to back down. “And you know he wouldn’t want you to blame him. If he wasn’t ready to accept the risk, he wouldn’t have taken it.”

       “Don’t you fucking dare speak for him,” she yelled and stood up for the first time in days. “You two weren’t that close.”

       “Maybe not, but we did understand each other,” I stated calmly, pushing her. “Why do you think he threw you to me? So I could keep you from doing something he’d regret.”

       “He’s gone now. What he wants doesn’t matter anymore,” she continued to yell.

       “Are you going to blame Feng forever?” I demanded, still holding my brother by his collar. “Are you going to ignore and hate him?”

       “Yanyu, it—“ Shador cut himself off when he saw my expression.

       Bast didn’t respond. I let go of Shador and turned to walk from her room.

       "Qiang is the one to blame for Jumoke’s death,” I spoke quietly, ensuring their attention would be on my words. “He couldn’t let the lesson lie. Couldn’t accept Feng had already learned what he needed to. Jumoke let Qiang take him instead of our brother. If you disagree with your husband’s decision. Rectify it. I’ll leave you two in here for a few days. You can kill our brother or forgive him enough to live with him. I leave the decision to you.”

       I glanced to Shador, his gaze glued to the floor in shame. He was ready to accept a death he genuinely thought he deserved. Bast didn’t say anything, just returned to laying in her bed.

       “I won’t be sending food in to either of you until I’m convinced mending has begun… or Feng is dead,” I proclaimed and slid the door closed behind me. I sat beside it, knowing Bast could go up to three or four days without feeding before she’d begin to lose control.

       While she was upset, I knew she wouldn’t kill our brother. He was just a convenient target for anger she couldn’t do anything about. But I knew Shador didn’t understand that and I needed them to start healing so I could begin training him myself. So, I could begin training both of them. It was a mistake when I decided I was the only one who needed to learn when we first left Kemet. I was making up for a lot of mistakes.

       I failed to ensure they’d be safe because I thought I could always be there. But I couldn’t remain by their sides and gain the power I needed. It was time my strategy took some adjustments. I was grateful Jumoke had given me the reality slap I needed.

* * *

 


	25. Step -- The Year I took another one. 2995 BC

* * *

 

       Flames licked at the logs, encasing the wood and the body of our fallen warrior. My sister stood at the head of the pyre, no tears, just an empty look in her eyes. I watched her gaze flicker to our brother, the pain in her gaze as she looked from him to Jumoke’s burning body.

       They wouldn’t be okay for a long time, but that was something I could live with. Because one day, we would repair our family. In the meantime, I would have to be their strength.

       We stood vigil until the break of dawn forced us out of the clearing and back to the safety of our home. Shador remained, charged with collecting Jumoke’s ashes once the fire was gone. It was the least he could do for Bast.

 - - - - - - -               

       Their training went well, but was limited by my own inexperience to teach. Even though I understood the motion to take to dodge a blade or fist as it flew toward me, explaining the motion, explaining the instinct to recognize the danger before I saw it was… difficult.

       Teaching Bast was a little easier since we were both Blestemats and didn’t have to worry about hurting each other, but trying to spar with Shador… holding back was getting us nowhere.

       It was clear he had some training already. Between his education in Kemet and whatever the hunters taught him, Shador was already far more skilled than the basics I could teach him were. Frustrated, I found a warrior who could train my brother properly. An ex-hunter turned Blestemat.

       His name was Andrada and he was the personal bodyguard and fuckboy of Tsvetanka. He agreed to train Shador under the condition he could train all three of us. Not a bad deal and one Qiang couldn’t complain about without risking his Sire’s wrath.

       “Come, Yanyu,” he commanded me. “You are powerful. Your body moves before you think, your instincts keep you alive. If we can train your muscles to react even when you are surprised, then you will truly be a monster to behold.”

       “You really know how to get a girl going,” I flirted, barely lifting my lip above my elongated fangs. Despite keeping my eyes on him, he was behind me in a flash. An arm wrapped around my waist and the other one clenched over my left breast.

       “Staked,” he whispered into my ear and ducked away before I could get a grip to throw him.

       “Tell me, are you so personal with my siblings?” I asked, irritably.

       “Tsk, tsk, you’re showing your temper,” he chastised. “Get in my head. Flirt, make me think you have the upper hand even when you know you don’t stand a chance.”

       “Oh? Maybe you should come in for another feel,” I offered, this time maintaining the flirtatious tone in my voice. “Promise to give you a love bite.”

       “I almost feel like you believe it,” he responded back and again he was gone from my sight.

       This time, I dropped to floor and grabbed his ankle, tripping him on top of me.

       “Staked,” he whispered as his hand fell to my chest, his legs straddling me. “Good idea in theory, but remember, I still have a weapon and you’re still leaving yourself open.”

       Forcing myself to remain calm, I let him get up and away from me. He was right, this was training and I was taking advantage of the fact he wasn’t actually trying to kill me. I needed to act like he was.

       Once I was standing, he began to circle me. A predator examining their prey, a mind game to put me on edge, to make me panic. I refused to panic. When he shot towards me, I grabbed his hand and twirled myself behind him. This time I was at his back, his arm between us.

       “Did you want that love bite?” I asked, my teeth grazing his neck. Andrada twisted his arm further to try and unravel himself from my grip, so I tried to grab his other arm, but he was ahead of me and elbowed my stomach. The second my grip loosened, he was on top of me again.

       “You are a very fast learner. At this rate, I won’t have to train you much longer, pity,” he said with an alluring smile. “If you ever beat me, I’ll give you that love bite.”

       “Why would I want that?” I asked, very done with his body on top of mine. Though… I had to admit I enjoyed some of the positions we ended up in, most of the time I was just agitated at my own weakness.

       “Because drinking the blood of our kind is how we get stronger,” he whispered into my ear. Andrada had my full attention. “Exchanging blood is about more than the intimacy, more than building the bond. It’s an exchange of life essence. To give you my blood will empower your soul with mine. I would never be able to keep you from knowing where I was, or what I was thinking if you wanted.”

       “Why would you give me this power over you?” I asked, skeptically. If he was telling the truth, it would explain why Qiang never let me feed from him. Why he warned me not to let my siblings feed from me.

       “Because I look forward to the day you kill your sire,” he whispered and nibbled the lobe of my ear. “You will need more than my power, but I can be the first. You see, he took someone from me. But my Sire favors him, so I’m not allowed to do anything. You however…”

       “That’s why you agreed to train us,” I whispered back to him. “You want me to be your little attack dog.”

       “There could be worse bitches,” he retorted. “You have a lot of centuries to catch up before you over power him.”

       “Let’s get started,” I cooed and ran my tongue from his shoulder to his ear, but he moved away from me.

       “Ah, ah,” he said and smiled that oddly alluring smile. “You have to beat me first.”

       “Can’t blame a girl for trying,” I replied with a small sigh and stood up, prepared to get my ass handed to me a few more times. At least I fared better than my siblings.

* * *

 


	26. Fucking is a useful skill. 2994 BC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author note: I apologize for missing all of Feb. Had some deeply personal things to deal with. Thank you for your patience.

* * *

 

       Without time to blink, I caught Andrada’s arm and slammed him to the ground. I stomped down on his wrist and put my knee to his chest. I still held the arm I threw him down with, letting my chest brush against it ever so slightly.

       “I think the little birdie’s wings were finally clipped,” I cooed, delighting in his inability to break free of me. “Do you want me to give you another chance?”

       “You’re going to regret this,” he grunted out, but couldn’t wretch his arm from me.

       “What’s wrong?” I asked as I leaned towards him, my lips a breath away from his. “Upset you can’t cop a feel anymore? Who’s the play toy now, you wonderful son of a bitch?”

       Slowly, I moved my lips from above his, gliding just above his jawline until I reached the side of his neck. I had to shift my legs so I straddled his stomach, but he no longer fought against me. Instead, he let his arms rest at his side.

       “You think you’ve earned a blood exchange?” he asked, his voice already husky.

       “No. I never promised my blood,” I whispered before I tenderly kissed his neck. “I’ll be taking yours, but you get nothing from me.”

       “You think you can extract that price?” he asked, a warning in his tone.

       “I know I could,” I whispered confidently. “I supposed it’s only fair to give you something. What do you want?”

       “I can have _anything_ I want from you?” Andrada inquired as he moved his hands under the quju I wore.

       “Anything other than my blood,” I cooed seductively and slid my hips down his body as I let him untie my obi. The fool could have the fleeting round of sex Qiang would hate him for. Feeding from him was far more valuable.

       “I’m keeping you here until the sun rises,” he growled enthusiastically and ran his hands along my back until he cupped my ass and lifted me into the air.

       “Not so fast,” I warned and wrapped myself around him. “My prize first.”

       He didn’t complain as he pressed me against a pillar. His hands did what they wanted while I sunk my teeth into his neck. The sweet nectar was cold, unlike any blood I had ever tasted. The familiar sensation of his mind opening to mine was almost overwhelming, much like the first time I had fed from Kesi, but this time, I knew what I was doing.

       While he gasped and set to reveling in my body through gropes, suckles, and thrusts, I focused on finding every one of his memories involving me and his motivations. His power rushing through my veins blurred my mind, almost as if I were merely getting drunk off of his power. Still, I pushed through to see if he had been playing me.

       What I found was instead, very honest. He had a very good reason for hating my sire. Qiang had stolen Andrada’s brother away and sired him… there was only one reason he ever took anyone. Unlike me, he had grown bored of the boy quickly and thought it entertaining to test how long a fledgling would survive in the sun.

       Though my heart ached for Andrada, that didn’t mean I could trust him. I kept searching, kept looking for his feelings. Once I found them, I finally released his throat and leaned my head back. Of course, I was nothing to him. A tool for his revenge against Qiang. Even the price he wanted for his blood was to piss Qiang off. To remind him that in Tsvetanka’s eyes they were equal, so he could fuck me all he wanted and Qiang couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

       Admittedly, I enjoyed that thought. So I returned Andrada’s gropes, ripped his clothes from him, fought him for top. For once, I spent the night enjoying fucking someone until we were spent and exhausted. As the sun began to rise, we laughed. Qiang would be furious… but not for long. I had a niece to save.

 

       Of course, my sire had heard of my little romp, but he chose to ignore it rather than give Andrada the satisfaction. That worked out for me because it meant he was pretending not to be angry with me.

       I sauntered into his bedroom without a hint of shame and a huge pout on my lips.

       “Sire, I must confess I was foolish and let Andrada into a position where he…” I let myself trail off and looked down. “I wish to cleanse myself of his touch and regain your favor. For more than just my transgression. I would also like my niece returned.”

       Qiang stared for a long time, tapping his long nails against the wooden arm of his chair. I took advantage of his silence and continued forward, slowly disrobing him. He watched me, still angry, but curious about my forward actions. Once he was exposed, I removed my clothing and straddled his hips.

       “Will my sire forgive his bitch?” I asked, slowly rocking and playing up how good it felt in my voice. In reality, I was pretty indifferent to sex with Qiang.

       However, he was gripping his chair and breathing much quicker.

       “For letting that mother fucker enter you, yes,” he replied gruffly and roughly grabbed my breasts to fondle them, but I took his wrists. “You’ll have to do much better to earn your niece back.”

       “Oh?” I asked, making sure it sounded like we hit a sweet spot. “You may enter now.”

       My sire rose an eyebrow, but his confusion quickly turned to pleasure as a very obviously dazed and naked human entered the room. She was just his physical type, supple breasts, long legs, and her eyes were an unusual shade of amber. I had ensured her hair was styled uniquely for him.

       “This is unlike you,” he commented, but I sped up a bit and commanded the girl to get between us.

       “I just wish to please you and make up for my brother’s stupidity,” I whispered breathlessly. The young woman straddled Qiang, her back against my chest, her front pressed against him as we shifted speeds and started to grind.

       “Prove it,” he growled in delight. “You’ve never truly taken an unwilling before. Prove your penance.”

       And I did. I felt every inch of her, fogged her mind so she would barely remember anything, and pushed her libido to crave my touch. She was begging for more with every stroke, every grab. All the while, I outwardly mimicked her desire and inwardly grew bored very quickly.

       But it worked. The woman lay beside Qiang’s chair, passed out and exhausted while I sat with my back against his chest so he could hold me in place in case he decided he wanted more.

       “I like this new enthusiasm,” he whispered, sending the familiar chills of disgust down my spine. “Next time, we’ll try a few other things. For now, I will let you take your sister to get her daughter.”

       “Thank you, sire. You are ever merciful,” I replied, part of my gratitude genuine.

       “And when you return,” he cooed, his hand sliding down my stomach to my thighs. “I’m sure you’ll have some new ideas on how to please me.”

       “Of course sire,” I breathed my words out, pretending his touch enlisted sexual gasps instead of repulsed my being. Luckily, I did have ideas to get what else I wanted from him. From anyone.

       My body was a weapon I planned to continue learning how to use. Love made people blind, but so did lust. At least love made more sense. But I didn’t have love, so fucking it was.

* * *

 


	27. Fate loves to intertwine everyone. 2993 BC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I know the posting has been a little off, but it'll be back on schedule from now on and I'll make up the 3 missed chapters as I can. Keep an eye out for them. ^^)

* * *

 

       “I was sent for your enjoyment,” an unfamiliar, but pleasing voice greeted without introduction.

       The pale and soft skinned man looked as if he had never worked a day in the fields. However, I could see he spent a lot of time working in another type of labor. Despite what my sire thought, I still had very little interest in sex unless I was receiving something in return. However, he’d be upset if I turned down what he considered a wonderful gift.

       “And did my sire state what enjoyment that was to be?” I asked coyly. His ebony hair was left down, his robe hung loosely open.

       Without a verbal response, he knelt down and crawled over to me. Once he had his arms on either side of me, I looked up into his gaze. This was not a man looking forward to his task and I was a little offended. Still, there were better ways to please me. Ways we’d both enjoy more.

       “Are you to report back to my sire when you’re done?” I asked and didn’t move from under him.

       “No,” he answered, confusion evident on his face. “He said I was to make you quake and beg for mercy every night while he was away. Once he returns, if I have not pleased you he will kill me. If I have pleased you, I may please you both.”

       When I rolled my eyes, he sat away from me. Obviously, my reaction wasn’t what he expected. I could smell his fear and feel his uncertainty. I couldn’t blame him when given the two paths he had been promised. His life was in my hands and no matter what I decided he had to do weird sexual things. And I was certain Qiang gave him weird sexual suggestions.

       “What’s your name?” I asked as I sat up and adjusted my clothing.

       “I’ve never had one,” he responded politely, but he couldn’t completely hide his suspicion. “Whenever I am needed my masters give me a name.”

       “And how long have you had masters?”

       “Since I was a child of about eight.”

       “Qiang is not your first master?”

       “No… I have served him before,” he responded and sat on the floor. “When I was around fourteen, but he didn’t keep me long before giving me to his sire who gifted me to Qiang again recently. This time I was too old for him alone.”

       “And that’s how you came to be in my room,” I guessed. “Do you know how old you are now?”

       “Twenty. Are you…I do not mean to offend, but usually these questions come after I have pleased you,” he said tentatively.

       “Twenty. My baby brother is about twenty,” I mused, annoyed and disgusted by my sire. I was confident he was trying to send some message. And confident I would ignore that message. “Here’s the deal. I don’t particularly want a sex toy. I have sex to please my sire and that it is. If you wish to bring me enjoyment, we’ll find something else. Can you sing?”

       “I-uh-no, I was never taught to sing,” he stammered before regaining his composure. “I have heard many stories from far-away lands.”

       “Have you?” I asked and perked up, turning to face him. “Do you think you could regale me with these stories?”

       “Is that really what would please you most?” he asked hesitantly. Poor boy seemed certain I was toying with him. Just what kind of masters did he have in his—oh right, one of them was _mine._

       “For now, yes,” I replied quickly. “When my sire returns, I do not promise he won’t demand other services from both of us. But until then, yes, I would like you to tell me stories. Have you heard of a snake goddess?”

       “Yes,” he replied eagerly and relaxed. I sat down on my soft bed and watched him expectantly.

       “Her people live atop a great mountain. Some say when they first moved there she descended from the heavens and made love to her first priest.” The way he told the story wasn’t riveting, but I had some low standards. Any information about other lands was good enough for me. “Ever since then, her blood has been passed down through their priesthood. Each leader is gifted beyond mortal limits. Superior strength, much quicker on their feet than the rest of the village, even the inability to starve to death. There are also those who believe these children of hers enjoy a presence that lures in whoever they want and a talent for pleasing them in bed.”

       “Where did you learn of this goddess and her godlings?” I asked while my mind rushed to one person in specific. Could that have been why I was so immediately drawn to him physically? It would certainly explain my initial attraction… but somehow that felt unsatisfactory.

       “One of her children is running around making some allies that concern some of my masters,” he admitted quietly. “They fear him not for his power, but for the power he could gain over time. If he embraces his godling abilities, he will not need to worry about aging or death. Then he will have eternity to hone his ability to kill the strongest of your kind.”

       “Is that so?” I asked absentmindedly. Was he a threat to me? To my siblings? “What other stories do you know?”

       He remained silent, deep in thought. Then, he moved over and motioned to sit behind me. I allowed him to, unthreatened and more than curious. He stripped me down, silently asking for permission before each step. I laid on my stomach, my arms tucked beneath my chin.

       “I am not accustomed to sitting around,” he explained, his hands working magic on my shoulders. “I know a tale of a boy foretold in a prophecy. He will meet a goddess who calls the shadows and darkness her home. He will claim to know the future, that his destiny is intertwined with hers. And on a whim, she will humor him. However, if the boy never finds her or her whims fail him, he will seek out anyone to give him his destiny. I don’t know what he is to achieve or what glory he is meant for… but I wish him luck.”

       “Sounds like a fool,” I muttered. “An interesting fool. Maybe the goddess will seek him out. I will call you Chao.”

       “It is a lovely name, mistress.”

       “You may save more stories for later. For now, keep doing what you’re doing.”

* * *

 


	28. I found the Garden 2992 BC

* * *

 

       With a steeled will, I entered my Sire’s bedchambers. Of course, he was with his new conquest. A man, barely, with creamy skin and fair hair. Though his eyes were closed, his head bobbing up and down in Qiang’s lap, I knew his eyes were dark. My physical opposite in literally _every_ way. Even thin and lanky where I was curved and firm of muscle.

       “Yanyu,” Qiang grunted, his hand intertwined in Antony’s thick locks. “Would you care to join us?”

       “Actually, I wanted to travel,” I said, knowing it was best to ask while he was distracted with his new toy.

       “And where would you like to go?” he asked, his grip on Antony tightened.

       “I’ve heard of a range of mountains that seemed interesting to look into,” I said, keeping the hope from my voice. “I’m sure Antony wouldn’t mind keeping you to himself for a bit.”

       “Is that so Antony?” Qiang asked, his knuckles even tighter in the boy’s hair, his head back, and I waited until he had finally released the man.

       “It’s true,” he responded, climbing into Qiang lap. “If she wants to leave your side, why should you beg her to stay?”

       To prevent the largest eyeroll in history, I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. The little shit needed to keep his ignorant comments to himself.

       “Oh, someone sounds a little threatened,” Qiang cooed and ran his fingers down Antony’s spine. “You think she takes my attention from you? I beg Yanyu for _nothing._ If I demand it, she gives it freely.”

       "Of course I do, Sire,” I agree with him, letting my impatience show through, my annoyed look directed at Antony. “However, it’s insecure comments like this that lead me to believe it would be wise if I let you two have some time to yourselves. Let your new pet learn his place.”

       “Well, your desire to travel is certainly nothing new,” Qiang mused, gliding his hand into Antony’s lap. “You have a fortnight to see your mountains and return home. If I have to come find you, Antony may become my favorite.” His gaze turned threatening then. “And you would _never_ want to lose my favoritism for disobedience, would you?”

       Knowing I walked a very thin line, I made my way to Qiang and dipped my head down, pressing my lips to his and letting his hand slide into my robe, my stomach sickened as his fingers fondled my breasts, but all I did was finish the kiss and remain bent over.

       “I’m sure you’ll show your gratitude when you return,” he whispered, his tongue played with my earlobe.

       “As you wish,” I said with a practiced smile and sent Antony a satisfied smirk before I left them. At least I could piss off that little manipulative shit when I was with Qiang.

       The farther I walked from Qiang’s room, the more what happened sunk in… I was free to travel. However, the elation was tainted with the destination in my mind. If Qiang had asked where or why those mountains… I may have been denied my freedom. There was no time to think about that.

               

       I gave up the safety of a sheltered caravan for stealth and secrecy. My teleportation would only work to places I had traveled to, but truth be told, I would have gone on foot no matter what. I wanted to savor moving across the land in the cool night air. Whenever I neared a village, I would stop and feed, scanning the locals’ minds for their knowledge of the land, building up a mental map within myself.

       The closer I drew to my destination, the slower I went. If anyone ever asked, I’d claim to be enjoying the ever-changing flora that surrounded me. Perhaps I’d lie more and say I was captivated by the air thinning around me, the weather subtly changing, though neither of these things affected me.

       Finally… the mountain peak I sought was before me and I continued to climb. The trek wasn’t difficult for me and somewhere up the mountain, I had had enough stalling. It didn’t take much longer for me to reach the top.

       My breath froze in my chest. Before me were blossoms unlike anything I had ever seen. Their petals varied in color— light blues, deep magentas, vibrant crimsons, and bright violets, but each petal gave off a light glow in the moonlight. Cautiously, I took off my sandals and stepped onto the soft grass. Then I continued on, admiring the trees that lined the garden, like a protective barrier with just one entrance.

       In the center of this natural garden, was a lake so clear I was certain the depth was deceiving. I knelt beside the edge and peered in. There were so many fish swimming around, far from the surface. They were unlike the koi I had become accustomed to. Like the blossoms surrounding me, they too seemed to glow.

       Whether true or not, I could see why the locals believed this place sacred. A home to the gods, even. And the place where a Snake Goddess had once given her blessing and child to her human priest to raise amongst mortals. If my people had somewhere like this, they too would give way to silly tales to explain its wonder.

       But if it were so sacred, I would have never been allowed to set foot within the line of trees.

       “I see you found it.”

       Startled, I closed my eyes. _His_ voice was a mixture of cold and welcoming. A strange twist of annoyed and relieved. As if he knew how to feel even less than I did. But I refused to show such weakness.

       I merely turned from the lake and looked up at him with a coy smile.

       “Ramses,” I greeted him, watching his muscles, hidden beneath a strange leather armor, searching for any hint of movement. “Honestly, what’re the chances of running into you here?”

       “Obviously very good since I tracked you. We have to talk.”

* * *

 


	29. The night we made an Eternal Vow 2992 BC

* * *

 

       “Do we?” I asked, but he didn’t seem amused so I stood from the lake and made my way to him. Still, I refused to let him reduce me to the teenage girl he helped hide from the guards. My expression remained neutral, curious. “You look well. Oh, we do need to talk. I hear Feng got into a bit of trouble because of you.”

       “Because of me?” he asked, the disbelief on his face almost amusing. “Your brother wanted to kill that monster of a sire. I told him to train and wait. Those idiots got impatient and—they were never supposed to take hostages. That would never work against Qiang.”

       “At least you’re not ignorant to his lack of heart,” I responded, my tone softer than I wanted. “He really cares for no one.”

       “He’s not the only ruthless one,” Ramses retorted, crossing his arms. “You didn’t have to kill all of them. Sekmet, you were strong enough to knock them out, to incapacitate them. You slaughtered them. They were just trying to protect innocent people from Qiang.”

       “They had my _family_ hostage and threatened to _kill_ them,” I shot back, barely holding onto my neutral expression. “Did you read their minds? No? Well I did. If I didn’t kill them there, they would have come back. If I didn’t kill them, Qiang certainly would have when they attacked again. Who knows what damage they could have done before then? I left one alive.”

       “To spread that ‘Dark Goddess’ fear mongering,” he said, sighing, tired. Ramses stepped towards me, reaching out with his hand before he cupped my cheek. “I know that’s not you. The Sekmet I saw in Kemet, the Goddess who cared about her people, that’s you.”

       “She’s dead,” I said, my mask dropped for a moment before I steeled myself, but I didn’t remove his hand. “You should stop trying to save her. That woman sold her soul for power. The monster in her place can’t afford to care about innocent people anymore.”

       “I won’t stop,” he stated firmly. “I’ll kill him for you. Then you won’t need to worry.”

       “And how would I feed? How would my sister and brother feed? Would you really allow us to feed on ‘innocent’ people?” I asked, taking a step away from him so his hand could no longer touch my cheek.

       “You don’t have to kill to feed,” he said with a small sigh. Just when he seemed like he was about to say something, he stopped and looked down at my chest. Without any hesitation, he reached down—I should have stopped him, should have grabbed his hand, but I didn’t… and was unfortunately disappointed when he lifted my necklace just enough to examine it.

       “Is this the one I gave you?” he asked, a smug smirk on his face. “You still have it?”

       “I like pretty jewelry,” I defended. My body was tense, my heart raced, but I couldn’t. Not there, not then. If my sire found out, if he sensed even a hint of feelings, he’d make my siblings pay for it. “Look, Ramses, you can’t kill him. I know you’re strong, but I’m not strong enough to kill him. You’re mortal.”

       “I’m not mortal,” he said lightly, putting my necklace down and carefully removing his hand. “The Goddess has blessed me with immortality. Youth was implied, but I’ll know for certain in a few decades if that’s true. I’m a lot stronger than you think I am.”

       “But are you stronger than I am?” I challenged him, staring into his eyes. “Because if you’re not, there’s no way you’ll be able to beat him.”

       “Why won’t you let me protect you?” he demanded. I could see the agitation building. Good. I needed him to hate me and clearly I didn’t do a good enough job last time. “I know you’re used to being the one who protects everyone else. Let me ease that burden for you.”

       “When will you get it?” I let my tone become irritated, my volume raised to just below yelling. “I don’t need you to save me. I don’t _want_ you to save me. Qiang can give me power, status, whatever I want. All you offered are honeyed words and big promises, which he gives me as well. You’ve already asked me to run away with you and I told you _no._ ”

       He was quiet for a while, his gaze searching mine. This time, I was able to keep myself steady, my expression annoyed. Still, he didn’t seem fooled the way he had been before.

       “Did you enjoy killing them?”

       His question may have seemed out of nowhere, but his expression had hardened.

       “The hunters?”

       Ramses nodded his head, watching my expression carefully. Though I wasn’t reading his mind, I could tell this was a moment that could push him away further, keep him at bay, away from me and danger.

       “Yes,” I answered, letting my lip curled into a genuine smile. “I fed from them, reading their thoughts. When I killed them, I enjoyed how easy it was. How weak they were compared to me.”

       Closing what little distance existed between us, I walked my fingers up his chest to trace the outline of his jaw.

       “I told you, Sekmet is dead. I’m Yanyu, the Dark Goddess and _any_ hunters who fuck with me or my family will meet the same end,” I cooed. His body tensed under my touch, but I continued, pressing myself against his very, very well-built body. The leather he wore over it was an unfortunate barrier. Emotionally, I swallowed an unpleasant pill to force out a lie. “And Qiang is my family.”

       “You’d claim that monster?” he growled, staring down at me. “I don’t believe it. After everything he did to you? After he killed Jumoke?”

       “How did you know my brother-in-law?” I asked, narrowing my own eyes. “It seems like getting mixed up with you and your _hunters_ is what led to Jumoke’s death.”

       “Do you blame me?” he questioned, taking my hand and holding it away from him. The expression in his eyes was unreadable, but I could hear the hurt in his tone.

       “No, Qiang is the one who did it. The fault lays with him,” I said nonchalantly with a shrug and tried to pull my hand from his, but he wrapped his other one around my waist and held me tightly—not in a very fun embrace.

       “Then what are you saying? I’m hearing a lot of nothing from you right now,” he said, his voice lowering, his golden gaze locked with mine.

       “That I picked Qiang over you time and time again, but your refusal to accept this put my family in danger,” I growled and slammed my forehead into his. Ramses released me, stepping away. “I guess I _am_ giving you a part of the blame for Jumoke’s death. Do yourself a favor and _forget_ me. Because if you keep trying to interfere with my family’s affairs, I will kill you, Ramses.”

       He growled and charged at me, but I managed to drop down. Instead of falling over my kick, he jumped, landed on his hand and flipped, landing on his feet away from me. We sized each other up, waiting for the other to move. Slowly, his gaze softened and he relaxed.

       “Perhaps Sekmet did die. I have a new name as well. Bishop,” he stated, his words tinged with regret. “If you disgrace her memory, become a monster like your sire, I’ll put you down. I won’t stop hunting Qiang. One day, he’ll mess up. I’ll be there to end him. Maybe then, you’ll remember who you are. It doesn’t matter if you pick me or love another. I’ll see you happy. Enjoy the garden.”

       I stood up, but there was nothing for me to say to that. I watched Ramses leave, down the mountainside.

       I wasn’t sure who the bigger fool was, him or me.

       “You’re so stupid,” I whispered to the wind. “One day, I’ll kill you or you’ll have to kill me. Our tale… will end in tragedy, Ramses. At least… we won’t be alone in eternity.”

* * *

 


	30. The Death of Shador 2988 BC

* * *

 

       I hadn’t traveled far beyond the mountain when my sister had called on me. I decided to remain with my siblings and niece until Qiang summoned me, which he didn’t for many years. In the meantime, Feng reached his twenty-fifth year. While it was a celebration, the day twisted my stomach.

       Once Ying had taken little Chen to her bed, Feng entered my room. A heavy silence surrounded me, but Feng’s aura hovered, calling out to me. After I took a deep breath, or two, or three, I turned around to meet his gaze.

       “Are you sure this is what you want?” I kept my voice steady despite the internal twisting threatening to overwhelm me. When I had sired our sister, it felt as if I was freeing her. As if I were giving her a chance at a life she could only dream of. But with my brother… he was already free.

       “You _promised_ , Sekmet,” he said firmly, using the name I cast aside years, over a decade before.

       “Sekmet is dead,” I retorted as I looked him over.

       He was _tall_. Much taller than I, with a warrior’s physique, and a handsome face that could get him out of trouble with most anyone I was certain. If he was to be immortalized, his body to never age, he’d likely never regret preserving his body as it was.

       “You’re not,” he implored, taking my hand and placing it on his chest. Beneath the warmth of his skin, I could feel the steady beat he was asking me to silence. “You’re here, every bit the stubborn and protective sister I have known all my life. And if Sekmet is truly dead to this world, let Shador rest with her and Bast in the realm of the dead. Don’t doom me to a world of old age and death while those I love remain unchanged, forced to endure mourning me when I pass.”

       “When did you get so smooth?” I teased him, lightly, my voice catching in my throat.

       “From watching you,” he replied easily, smiling down at me. “I’m ready. You were wise to make me wait until now, but I’m ready.”

       “You thought you were ready as a boy, too.”

       “Yes, well, now I’m a man and look older than you.”

       “I should stop your aging now before you begin to look too much like father,” I mused. With a sigh, I pulled my hand away. “You’re sure you don’t want Ying here with you?”

       “I love her, but…” he paused and rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand. “This is between the two of us. You are my blood bond, you will be my sire. When I wake, you will be the one standing guard, ensuring I only feed as I need. Which will be more than either of you feed now. And… I want Ying to keep Chen from me for a while. Turning brings out the best and worse in us. I don’t want to risk doing anything stupid.”

       A gentle smile spread across my face, but a chilling pain gripped my heart. With a heavy sigh, I motioned to a space beside me and waited for my brother to sit. Gently, I pulled back his hair and forced a calm into his mind. I had to raise up on my knees to feed from him, not the most comfortable of positions, but necessary. All he would know was bliss as I sank my fangs into his throat, draining his life from his body. My arms were wrapped around him, one gently across his chest. When his breathing slowed and stilled, when the beating beneath my arm ceased, I stopped.

       Holding his lifeless body in my arms sent chills through my body. My own breath caught, I couldn’t focus, my thoughts swirled, the space around me seemed to shrink… until I forced myself to remember he wasn’t gone. Hastily, I sliced my wrist open and shoved it towards his lips, forcing them open to let my blood drip into his mouth.

       He drank. I breathed. The more he drank, the quicker the tension eased from my body. When his aura shifted, gaining a hint of the curse all Blestemat bore for our gift, I kissed his forehead. Once he had enough to complete the transition, I took my wrist away, letting it heal in mere moments.

       Though he was tall, I had no problems carrying my baby brother to my sleeping mat. Though I knew he would never again experience hot or cold, I still covered him with a warm blanket. He would need to feed when he awoke, but I didn’t want to keep a human around the safe house while his transition took place. There were a few blood whores I could borrow from Qiang, but I didn’t consider myself that desperate. 

       Even though I could feel my brother’s aura, looking at him was… difficult. What if he never opened his eyes? What if the transition didn’t take and all I did was murder him? I couldn’t let those thoughts consume me, so I went back to thinking of how I would feed him. There were a few villagers round that respected us in their own way. Older men I had met, who lost their daughters and were eager to gamble with an exotic beauty.

       But they wouldn’t do, no, my brother deserved better for his first meal. Better, but still willing since he still had a conscience, still cared about people. I believed I knew just the beauty. A young woman who often left offerings to the gods of their land. To my knowledge, she was alone in this world save for a husband she could barely stand. Yes, she’d enjoy exchanging her dull husband for the excitement of a newly reborn god. Or so I would convince her.

       Gently, I reached out and stroked back his hair. Though his skin held a greyish tint, I knew in a few days’ time it would return to the deep and vibrant tan that matched my own. Just a few days… surely, he’d wake as quickly as I had. I placed my forehead against his and closed my eyes.

       “You have to return to me. Don’t doom me to a world where I remain unchanged, forced to endure mourning the loss of my heart.”

       Of course, he would wake up in time. The transition would be effortless, but in that moment, every moment until he awoke, I couldn’t shake the fear. Couldn’t push down a truth I didn’t want to face.

       Without Shador and Bast, I had no reason to live.

* * *

 


	31. Feng's resurrects while I accept some truth. 2988 BC

* * *

 

       Guarding my brother while he slept was entirely my responsibility. I refused to let Ying take my place, but I did relent in allowing her to pick his first meal since she had to go into town with Chen anyway. We would need to take over bartering and shopping while our brother regained the ability to be awake in the daylight.

                       It wasn’t that we lacked bloodwhores or servants on the estate. But he needed someone fresh, who could handle if his first meal was more than it needed to be. Which meant picking them now and ensuring they were eating rich foods that would keep their blood supply up. I may have hated living with my sire, but the time with him taught me a lot about maintaining a functioning Blestemat lair.

       I searched my memory, trying to remember how long it had taken for my sister and I to turn. She took a few days, but I believed they told me I only took a day? Maybe a little longer. That point in my life was hazy to me at the time. To my knowledge, no one ever remembers what happened while they were ‘dead’ and ‘reviving’. Just waking up from the nothingness.

       Apparently, my willpower wasn’t enough to wake my brother. If I were to be honest, I was terrified his turning would take weeks, as they usually did. That it would be a sign of natural weakness and he would have to work three times as hard to be seen as an equal to near my level. Raising his power was doable, but wouldn’t be as necessary if he awoke with more potential than the average Blestemat. Qiang had wanted him though… and my sire had a habit of choosing those with innate abilities.

       “This stressing is getting me nowhere,” I growled and stood to pace the room. I needed a distraction, but one I could have in the room with my brother. Then again… perhaps it was my turn to be a story-teller. He’d never remember what I told him anyway.

       With this confidence, I sat down with my legs crossed beside my brother, gently caressing his head.

       “I went to a mountain deemed the home of the gods. Ramses found me there,” I confessed, though my unease didn’t lesson. “You once believed he was meant to be my savior. I know I wasn’t supposed to find out, but it’s hard to keep out your memories when I feed sometimes. I’m sorry about that… Ramses won’t save me in the way you think, little brother.”

       With a deep breath, I pulled my hand back and leaned away from him. I pulled one knee up to chest and rested my chin on it.

       “I don’t know how long this world will last or how long I will still have my family to give me purpose. When the day comes neither of you need me… when this world has lost its wonder for me… I will need someone powerful to help me move on… that is what he will mean to me,” I explained, knowing no one would ever hear those words, relishing in an escape I allowed myself to have.

       “But it’s okay. You’ll both find love, I know you will. You’ll find reasons to live on. And if you don’t, I can release you before my time comes. But I will never leave you without family. This I swear,” I promised his still body and leaned forward to kiss his forehead.

       A low groan escaped what seemed like a very dry throat. With a smile, I sent a quick message to Ying.

       “Take it slow,” I whispered to him, helping him sit up. “There will be food in a little while. The throbbing should subside after that.”

       I could see his attempt to speak and smirked when it only resulted in a small fit of coughing.

       “Shh, deep breaths now. You have to retrain your body to breathe, you can’t speak until you do,” I reminded him. Even the simplest of functions were easily forgotten when one resurrected.

       “I feel like I’ve had far too much to drink and not enough all at once,” he complained. “I can hear all the humans’ hearts beating. Why is everything so loud?”

       “Focus on one sound. Doesn’t matter what,” I instructed. Thankfully, I felt our sister return to the estate. Respecting Feng’s wishes, she remained in the main living area while she sent his new bloodwhore to us. I sensed her before she knocked and went over to let her into the room.

       Feng tried to stand, but stumbled, almost crashing to the floor.

       “Sit down,” I commanded him. Without hesitation, he did as I told him. Oh that sire bond, so much stronger when the fledgling turned was blood bonded.

       Turning my attention back to his bloodwhore, I looked her over. Plump enough, a vibrant and healthy complexion. Her skin was lightly tanned, her hands showing some wear from working the fields. Piled into a practical style on her head was hair as black as my own, her eyes a deep brown like the earth. Judging by her facial features, she was young, but a full-grown woman.

       I guided her to my brother and went through the motions of teaching him to feed, though I didn’t really have to do much. He had watched us enough, had heard me teach our sister. Despite his fears, he showed astounding control. I even had to encourage him to feed more, taking in what he would need to keep from going into a frenzy.

       Once he finished feeding, he commanded her to sleep. I easily lifted her up and moved her over to his mat.

       “I could ha—”

       “Can you walk yet?” I cut in. “You need to learn to work with your new strength. Don’t worry, she’s yours now. Willingly gave up her old life to serve you as long—”

       “As long as I help her forget,” he finished. “I… read it in her thoughts. You let Ying make the final pick?”

       “Yes. Are you satisfied?”

       “I’m not sure…” he said and stood up slowly. “We’ll see.”

       There was much he had to learn. The first rule he’d have to accept. Humans were his food now. The unease I felt from him would have to pass. Suddenly… a thought chilled me to my core.

       When did _my unease_ disappear? Had I _ever_ been uneasy with the rule?

* * *

 


	32. Distractions can come in many forms. 2988BC

* * *

 

       My brother’s bloodwhore was called Shai. That wasn’t her birthname, nor do I know what her birthname was, but Shai was what she and my brother agreed her new name should be. I tried not to dwell on the reason they felt it was necessary. Or where he had gotten the idea to do so.

       Instead, my focus was on Ru Shi. Chen had requested we offer to bring the girl with us on our travels. Of course, I had a few conditions to add on. Thus, I was the one who would present the offer to her. When I was confident Feng could be left alone with Shai without killing her, I went to the little playhouse he had build for our niece and her friends.

       At the time, only Ru Shi was there, which was perfect for me. The girl looked up at me, curious and confused. I imagine because she had seen Ying before and I noticed our similarities. She said nothing, just observed me as I observed her. Though her hair was well maintained, the qui she wore was stained with dirt around the hem and there was a small tear that threatened to grow larger.

       “Ru Shi?” I asked, despite knowing who she was.

       “You’re Lady Yanyu?” she asked simply, her eyes narrowed and curious.

       “I am. You’re an orphan?” I crossed one leg over the other and began to hover in the air. A small trick I had started practicing over the last few months. Instead of widening her eyes or showing any form of surprise, she narrowed them a bit more.

       “Yes. Why do you want to know? How are you doing that?”

       Kid had spunk. I liked her.

       “We’re going to be leaving. I’m not sure when, but when we do, we may not return in your lifetime,” I explained, not bothering to dance around my intentions. “Chen wishes to offer for you to join us. Would you like to?”

       There was a moment of hesitation before she plopped down and looked me over again.

       “What would I need to do to go? Let you feed from me?”

       “Once,” I admitted. The girl was far more knowledgeable than I had expected. Genuinely, I wondered how much she knew, and where she had learned it. “Just to scan your mind and do a blood-bond if you wish to come with us. To ensure you’re not a threat and that I could protect you once you became part of our family.”

       “What makes you think that I want to join all of you?” she requested defensively but didn’t move away from me or even tense up.

       “Nothing _makes_ me think this,” I replied coolly and took interest in my fingernails. “It is an offer because Chen wished for her friend to remain her friend. If you don’t want to, all you have to do is refuse. If you wish to accept, then all you have to do is follow the conditions.”

       “If I join you, you say I’ll be part of your family?” Her tone became slower, more hesitant.

       “Yes. In case you’re wondering what that means, it’s simple. I’ll protect you, ensure you’re fed, clothed, well educated, trained to defend yourself, the things matriarchs are supposed to do for all those in their care,” I explained, looking up from my fingernails to her. “No one would be allowed to feed on you per my protection. Does this sound reasonable to you?”

       “Would you ever turn me? Into whatever you are?” she asked me with an expression I could discern as fear or intrigue.

       “Unlikely. But if anyone turned you, it would be me. Is that something you want?” I asked her, keeping my tone even.

       “No. I want to live and die as a human,” she said firmly, her deep brown eyes burning brightly.

       “Then you will live and die as a human. I will not turn you against your will and I won’t allow anyone else to,” I promised her with a warm smile.

       “What do you want me to do in return?” Ru Shi was very cautious, but she was letting her interest show through. Letting her guard down.

       “I already told you. Let me scan your mind, blood-bind you, and then if that goes well, you’re part of the family,” I explained again before deciding to elaborate. “Which will of course entail studying hard and other such things. But likely nothing you’re concerned about. You won’t need to kill anyone, feed anyone your blood, or service anyone in anyway. Does this settle your lingering doubts?”

       First, she looked down, then she looked out of the window, finally she looked back over to me.

       “Are you going to drink my blood now?”

       “If you wish to return to the estate with me, then yes,” I said with a small smile and uncrossed my legs. My feet touched the floor and for the first time, she looked scared. “But, we can wait until you’re ready.”

       “No,” she said with a small quiver in her voice. “Now. We should go ahead and get it all over with.”

       “As much as I find your attitude adorable, do be careful the tone you use with me,” I warned her politely. Then, I let my power seep into her mind, calming her, setting her at ease. I gently pulled her sleeve back and bit into her wrist. Usually, I would make the feeding euphoric, however, as with my siblings, I didn’t really want to entice those emotions from her. Instead, I made her feel giddy, almost drunk.

       Roaming through her mind, I found what I expected. A happy life, supportive parents, an adventurous and curious girl, then her parents’ bodies were found. No one wanted to take her in, she was angry and scared, alone with only her friends as comfort. Ying and Feng of course had helped her as much as she’d allow. The girl was of no danger to us. I stopped feeding from her. I cut my hand and put it to her lips, feeding her just a few drops of blood.

       The sensation of her life force shifted in a way only I would ever feel. A strange buzz in the back of my mind that would never leave, but one I could learn to ignore.

       “Alright, Ru Shi. Let’s go home,” I whispered and in a blink, we were in the estate. The first thing I needed to do was arrange for a fresh wardrobe for my new ward. I had a quite project on my hand.

* * *

 


	33. Everyone prepares in their own ways - 2987 BC

* * *

 

       “Again,” I demanded while I watched her body shake with the effort it took to remain standing. Stray strands of dark hair clung to her thin cheeks, the rest barely held back by the pins in her hair. With a ragged breath, she pushed herself forward before dropping to the floor to attempt to kick my legs out from under me.

       However, she was so tired, I merely stepped to the left and pushed my foot onto her chest to stop her slide.

       “You’re getting sloppy,” I criticized, ensuring I sounded as bored as possible. “Keep pushing yourself like this and your body will give out. Then who will accompany Chen?”

       “I’m not done,” she wheezed beneath the pressure of my foot.

       With a deep sigh, I stepped away from Ru Shi.

       “Then we go again,” I agreed and stepped away from her. “If you can stand on your own. And I mean _stand_. Not that pitiful slouching you were doing before.”

       Though she was slow, Ru Shi eventually pushed herself back onto her feet. The girl didn’t wait for my command or permission, she rushed me the moment she had her balance. And this time, she managed to brush against my qui as I moved to dodge. With an impressed smirk, I caught her hand and pinned it behind her back.

       “You’re improving,” I whispered and held her there. It had been a year since I started working with her. We were planning to leave within the next few months and I had Ru Shi still believing she wasn’t ready to go with us.

       “I haven’t hit you yet,” she whined weakly. “Again.”

       “No. I approve of pushing yourself until you break, but what good is it to learn to defend yourself if you’re _always_ exhausted?” I reasoned with her. Then tension in her muscles eased and I could feel her legs about to give out. “It’s all right, little one. We have much time to improve your strength. You have more skill than you realize. Once you fight someone weaker than myself, you’ll see the difference.”

       “But not someone as strong as you?” she whispered before I swept her into my arms.

       “If they’re as strong as I, then you should call for me. I will come,” I reminded her, teleporting us to her bedroom. “Rest now. I expect you to look presentable for dinner. I imagine Chen will give you quite the scalding.”

       Disgruntled by my tease, Ru Shi flopped on her mat and burrowed within her many blankets and pillows. A girl after my own heart. I left as I entered, teleporting to the primary living room. Shai was there, practicing her dancing. Honestly, I understood teaching Chen and Ru Shi to dance, but Shai? So long as she remained healthy enough to feed Feng, I stayed outside their relationship of feeder and eater.

       Of course, my darling sister was there, just waiting with a disproving look on her face.

       “You work that girl too hard,” she said before I had even finished sitting down. Her own bloodwhore, a healthy-looking woman not much older than Shai, was nowhere to be seen. It looked like I was the only one who was willing to feed on men at the time.

       “I don’t work Ru Shi,” I defended lazily and lounged back with my head in one hand and one leg bent. “She works me. That girl has had me running drills and sparing with her for weeks. Going long hours with no breaks.”

       “And you don’t encourage this behavior?” she retorted, obviously not going to back down without proving some point. Some attempt to appeal to my ‘motherly’ side I was sure.

       “I encourage survival,” I continued unperturbed. “I would do the same for Chen if she asked and I’m sure face an even worse degree of your wrath. If you want her to slow down, convince _Ru Shi._ After she’s rested. Because all I’m going to do is ensure that she doesn’t kill herself. I don’t care if or how many times she breaks herself.”

       “Are you being honest?” Ying’s gaze searched mine. Though she couldn’t read me when I didn’t want her to, she kept trying. Suddenly, she smiled.

       I didn’t trust it.

       “I meant what I said,” I replied and rose an inquisitive eyebrow at her. “Stop trying to convince me I have a child when I don’t. You want her to have a mother, _you_ mother her. Feng.”

       My brother appeared as his name left my mouth.

       “Yes?”

       “Your sister won’t leave me alone,” I whined at him.

       The speed in which his expression turned from inquisitive to dryly amused was comical.

       “Ying, stop picking on our sister,” he teased her in a fake authoritative voice.

       “Please, like he has any say over what I can and can’t do to you,” she retorted and rolled her eyes.

       “All comments and concerns you have for me may be directed through Feng. I have important things to attend to,” I informed her and promptly rolled over to lounge in the opposite direction and watch Chen play a game with dice. I winked when I caught her glancing in our direction with a smirk on her face.

       “Yanyu, you can’t be serious,” she said in disbelief. When I didn’t respond, I could hear her sigh. “Are you really going to play along with this, Feng?”

       “Might as well,” he said in his own amused tone. “I don’t know why she’s decided to ignore you like a child, but this promises to be entertaining.”

       “You’re just as bad as she is,” Ying shot at him. The loud ruffling of fabric told me she was getting up and walking away. A heavy set of footsteps soon joined her and all I could assume was that she decided to go chat with her bloodwhore.

       “She took the fun out of that,” Feng lightly complained. A warm weight on my ankle drew my attention to his hand, then to him. “So, what was that about?”

       “I just wanted to avoid answering to a lecture and questions with answers she wouldn’t like,” I admitted quietly. “She thinks better of me than she should.”

       “Or you think less of yourself than you should.”

       “Pft, I’m a Goddess, Feng, I think very highly of myself,” I retorted as haughtily as I could manage.

       “Forgive my insolence,” he teased me and looked to our niece.

       “If I wanted to learn to fight, you’d really teach me?” Chen spoke up, drawing my attention back to her.

       “Of course, little one,” I replied with a broad smile. “Do you wish to learn? Speak to your mother, first. I really _don’t_ want a bigger scolding or to face her undying wrath.”

       Chen glanced down the hallway.

       “Later. When she’s not upset at you,” she replied with a bit of a cheeky tone.

       “You hear that? She’s getting a bad as you,” I accused my brother.

       “I’m not the one she watches most,” he whispered to me, but Chen still heard him and quickly looked down to her game.

       I’d didn’t yet understand why they always looked up to me. And when I figured it out… I didn’t always use that knowledge… responsibly.

* * *

 


	34. Knowing our history was very important 2987 BC

* * *

 

       There’s only so much a vampire can teach a human child about defending themselves. Ru shi was too small to properly learn most of the maneuvers I knew and she lacked the strength for others. Still, I was confident she could stab a full-grown human, even one with some hunter training, and she knew how to work out and improve her strength and stamina. That was all I needed her to know for the time being.

       I, myself, had spent a lot of time practicing my magical abilities and honing the additional senses my Blestemat state had given me. By the time we left for Atlantis, I could sense the physical well-being of those I blood bonded without intruding on their emotions or thoughts. And while I had the option to intrude on their thoughts or emotions, I wasn’t strong enough to do it without them noticing.

       Interestingly enough, Qiang could no longer spy on mine without _me_ noticing. Not that he ever tried to delve deeply, but it did make hiding things from him much easier when I knew the times he searched for confirmation in my thoughts.

       Our journey to Atlantis was rather dull. We moved slowly so the humans could rest. Our caravan was pretty inventive for the time period. The tents were set on square shaped wagons, drawn by horses. We were in the lead tent, while our servants were in the second one. A few of them were more loyal to me than Qiang, but I had been lax in collecting my own full staff. Part of me felt doing so would mean I planned to set roots down or commit to caring for them—which I was avoiding.

       My sister questioned my decision not to take a bloodwhore with us and I gave her part of my reasons. Told her that I didn’t want to be responsible for another human and there would be plenty of them in Atlantis where our kind were not seen as taboo monsters. The other reason I kept to myself. We wouldn’t be the only non-humans in Atlantis and I planned to look for a more potent blood supply.

       It was the middle of the night when I saw the boat that would take our two tented wagons across the sea to the island country of Atlantis. There was something unique and ethereal about the wooden boats. Mystic power pulsed from them in waves, but not overwhelmingly so. There was a gentle pull to the magic, a calming sensation that eerily reminded me of when Qiang first fed from me.

       I didn’t trust it. Yet, it was the only way to our destination. So I commanded the servants to lead the wagons onto it while I spoke with the ship’s captain. The man was Atlantean I assumed. His skin was as dark as my own, his eyes a vibrant violet, and his hair a soft lavender. Standing a few feet from him, I had to look up at the rather tall individual.

       He looked me over suspiciously, his eyes narrowed, but after a moment, his lips spread into a wide grin.

       “Cain’s line is always welcome. Even if it is through Qiang. Though I see the other two are through you…?”

       “Yanyu,” I introduced with a friendly smile. I wasn’t sure who ‘Cain’ was, but had a more pressing curiosity. “You can read bloodlines?”

       “Only if I’ve met the progenitor,” he replied and directed his crew to get things set up while we spoke. “It pays to know the whose who of every species. I’m sure you’ll pick it up before you’re a century old. Since you’re through Qiang, I would assume you’ve only met others of Cain’s line, so the power auras have all had the same tint. You’ll notice the difference when you look at our other guests aboard the ship. There are a few from Antella’s line here. Her tint is almost nothing like Cain’s.”

       I listened intently to his explanation. Tsvetanka was Qiang’s sire, but this man hadn’t even mentioned her. Instead, he kept speaking of Cain, who I assumed must have been my line’s progenitor. As if sensing my curiosity, he furrowed his brows, though he was still smiling. Then his expression morphed into an amused smirk and a raised brow.

       “Qiang really doesn’t educate his fledgling’s. You’ve been a Blestemat for several years, but do not know your progenitor? Has he even told you how many progenitors there are? Or how your kind came to be?” he asked me in a tone that clearly showed irritation towards my sire and not my ignorance. Which went a long way in keeping me from getting defensive.

       “He has very little interest in things that don’t directly threaten or serve him,” I explained and crossed my leg while I levitated in the air. “I would love to learn though, if you’re willing to teach me that is. I didn’t catch your name.”

       Ying caught my gaze and I nodded to her. She understood without further interactions and took care of getting our group settled into our cabins. The ride would take the rest of the night and the next day. Plenty of time to get to know my new ‘friend’.

       “Remalize. And since you’ve freed your time for me, it’s only polite I indulge your curiosities,” he teased me after he glanced at my sister. Remalize motioned for me to follow him and took a seat on a barrel that was strapped to the railing of the ship. “First thing you should know is that the rules for your kind depend on faith and your progenitor. Cain’s line has less weaknesses than most and you look like you’re from Kemet, despite your clothing. I’d imagine you’re only weaknesses right now are salt, silver, and then sun. Which are universally an issue for your kind.”

       “Salt? I knew silver and the sun could burn us, but salt?” I asked, hoping for some clarity and reasoning. “I’m also not certain as to _why_ the sun and silver can burn us.”

       “Well, Cain and a few others, six others to be precise, pissed off the wrong deity and were cursed,” He leaned back and looked up at the sky. “They were to never again enjoy the warmth of the sun. Though it can be deadly when you’re young and weak, if you survive long enough it’ll be more like a minor inconvenience, but few beyond the progenitors and their favorites survive that long. Silver holds a particularly special honor as the most divine of metals and the easiest one to channel magic through. Essentially, touching it begins to drain the magic keeping your body alive and leaves a burning mark there. Which means once again with enough time, you can actually build up a resistance to it. Which will be useful if you ever decide you wish for a piercing or tattoos since silver will be required to give them to you unless you want them to be healed instantly.”

       He paused then and waited for me to confirm my understanding. Which I was grateful for as my mind sorted through the information. Gold had been more sacred to my people than silver, yet it didn’t burn me. But I had considered my immorality a blessing, not a curse. Did that protect me from my mortal beliefs? Or perhaps I had simply stopped believing before I was turned…

       After a moment, I nodded for him to continue.

       “Salt is _the_ gift of life. It can be used to keep meats lasting longer, to improve on the taste of some foods, and for mortals, protect them from the unnatural. Which my dear, you are considered. It was merely put into the curse as something to burn or protect from the monsters created as punishments from the gods in many, many countries. It is important to your own people, isn’t it?”

       “Yes, for much the same as what you said. Though it’s not really seen as a weapon against the unnatural. It’s even used to prepare our dead for their final rest,” I replied, but even that made sense to me. By the laws of nature, I should be dead. Salt would be a natural tool to send me to my final rest.

       “Don’t worry though, it won’t kill you. Just hurt like a bitch,” he reassured me and patted my arm.

       “What can you tell me of Cain?” I pressed, curious and uncomfortable with the idea salt was now forbidden to me.

       “Not much. I met him when I was a child and we didn’t really speak. But his line is the oldest and the strongest. He was the _first_ to create a line and was very selective. Some of his original direct fledglings still live while no other progenitor may claim the same. Unfortunately, not all in his line are as selective as he.” His wry smile was an obvious indication he referred to my sire. “You should be proud though. Cain took the curse and with his power turned it into what many consider a blessing. Which is why his descendants were charged with killing Blestemats.”

       “Hunters are all descended from my progenitor?” I asked skeptically.

       “No, not all of them. Before he was turned, he had children. Once he essentially told the god who cursed him to fuck off by creating a new and powerful species of nocturnal predators, that god then decided to tell Cain to fuck off and blessed his children with abilities, so they could kill their father’s creations. A really messy situation that created the Blestemat lines and the first hunting family. There’s lots of them now, but Cain’s line is the first for both.”

       “That is fascinating.” I said with a wide smile. “How can I repay you for this information?”

       “Funny you should ask,” he responded with a mischievous smile of his own. “Because I came across something I’ve been trying to decide what to do with and I think you’re _just_ the Blestemat to help me with it. I’ll show you once we dock tomorrow night.”

       Curious, I just turned my head as he stood up and walked away to handle captain business. Immediately, I went to our cabin to tell my siblings all I had learned. Unlike Qiang, I wanted to be an excellent Sire.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for your interest and for reading Sekmet's Story. Feel free to leave your thoughts, feelings, or even both in the comments below. ^.^
> 
> I'm also accepting tag suggestions. Cause I don't know all the tags that may apply.


End file.
